As Gem and John kept walking through the botanical gardens, holding hands, Gem couldn't help but think how strange but wonderful it was. It was the weirdest and the best first date.
The problem was, that she wasn't even sure if it was a date. Since they were holding hands, she thought it was probably a date, but maybe he was holding her hand, so as not to lose her in the garden. Her brain was in overdrive, so she decided to stop thinking and just try to enjoy the moment.
The flowers and trees they saw were simply breathtaking. Although she had seen the pictures before, she wasn't ready for the overwhelming sense of joy that started permeating her senses as they went on.
There were some regular flowers, such as roses and lilacs, but also some flowers that she had never seen before. Their general beauty and gentleness helped her relax and enjoy the walk.
The great thing about being there in person was that she could also feel all the wonderful smells around her, mixing in perfectly. For her, the smell was one of life and nature. It was irresistible.
Although John wanted to kiss her, he concluded that she wasn't ready yet, so he stayed content with just holding her hand and enjoying the view.
He knew that most of his friends would call him weak and say that he wasn't manly enough, but he liked Gem. He didn't want to ruin what they had by being too forward.
It was common for guys to be very presumptuous, and although some girls liked that, he had a feeling that Gem wasn't one of them. She wasn't the kind of girl who would kiss a guy on a first date. Especially, the guy whom she met only recently.
So, they just kept walking and enjoying getting in touch with nature and with each other. It was the most unorthodox date John had ever been on, but it made him wonder why he hadn't done it before.
The answer was quite obvious. Because he hadn't met Gem before. She was the one who showed him how to get in touch with himself and his surroundings.
By connecting with her, it seemed that he was finally able to reconnect with himself, with who he was and to start enjoying small beauties of life.
After a few hours of bliss, it was time for them to say goodbye, even though neither of them wanted to let the other one go.
However, Gem was sure that she needed some time to process what was happening. Although she had been looking for love her whole life, she had also been running away from it. It was a strange conflict in her heart that she needed to resolve before she could have any kind of future with John.
She needed love, but she was also terrified of it, more than she was ever afraid of anything before. She knew that loving and being loved was a wonderful feeling, but she was afraid of the pain.
What if she started loving someone and that person left, or even worse died?
Since the first loss she had suffered, she did her best not to get attached to people if she could help it. One thing she thought she could prevent, was falling in love with anyone, no matter how much she wanted it.
If she loved with her whole heart, it would hurt so much more if someone broke it.
Meeting John, made her even more confused because she wanted to love him, and that was something she didn't know how to deal with.
When it came to intellectual questions, she had no problem answering them, but when it came to the matters of the heart, she was lost. She couldn't understand her own heart, and she knew that she had to figure it out, or else she would break John's heart by accident.
When they were saying goodbye, they just awkwardly shook hands and went their separate ways.
A few days passed without them seeing each other, although they did stay in touch. Gem was using those days to question herself about what she wanted, what she needed, while John was thinking of a way to approach her.
He wanted to see her again but wasn't sure how to ask her or where to take her. It was strange how easy it was to communicate about everything else, but how difficult he found it to express his emotions.
He thought it had something to do with the way he spent his life before meeting her. He needed to hide his emotions, to be manly, and it was a challenge to stop doing that.
He opened up to her more than he did to anyone else, but there was still an emotional wall that he was afraid to tear down completely. If he tore it down, it would leave him vulnerable, and in the past, that only brought him more pain.
The funny thing was, he wanted to let Gem in, so he used those few days to gather his thoughts and feelings.
They were both overthinking things, but luckily for them, fate had other plans.
One day, as Gem was heading towards the bus station, she was suddenly stopped by someone. She was so lost in her thoughts, that it took her a few seconds to understand who it was.
When her brain finally processed the information, her body took over, while her brain took a back seat. What she did, surprised both of them, as she stepped towards John hugging him tightly.
It was a hug that lasted much longer than was appropriate. Her whole body was shaking, and she felt butterflies in her stomach which never happened to her before. It was difficult to breathe, but what was more difficult was letting John go, ending the hug.
However, her brain finally managed to catch up with her actions and stopped her from squishing John to death.
"Are you in a hurry? Maybe you are meeting someone?" she asked, hoping that he would say no.
"No, not at all. I have all the time in the world, for you. " he said, realizing how cheesy he sounded only after saying it.
"What do you say we go somewhere and have some fun?" John asked.
Although her whole body was trembling, and she was very nervous, her immediate response was affirmative.
"That sounds perfect. I would love to," she said.
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