Ah. Weddings.

Where a man and a woman join together in holy matrimony, where a woman's life of servitude to her probably abusive husband begins. The perfect event for someone to get shot - which happened to my uncle on my mother's side - or perhaps poisoned with arsenic in the wedding cake. Now that was a nasty one, I remember the bride bawling her eyes out when they came back and told her her husband was dead ... of course later we found out that she was the one who did it, but still. 

Weddings are the perfect grounds for assassination, simply because it's a happy day, a good day, a wonderful occasion. Hence when something bad happens no one wants to believe it at first, and their reaction times slow down by about one third of a second. Which in my world, was a lot.

The name's Hayley by the way. Hayley Blackcroft, eldest child and only daughter of my father. You'd think that this was something that would make him proud, but nope. In the Blackcroft empire it was the men that counted. In our field of business, men hold the upper hand in all categories - skill, speed, strength - or so they claimed. In my opinion women would do just as well, if we were given a chance. But women were sidelined in Blackcroft.

In fact, when I was born my father took it rather badly. I was first child, and for a first child to be a girl - le gasp! The eldest usually inherited after the father, and one couldn't let the heir be a girl now could we? That would be sacrilege. Which was why my brother was born. I feel quite proud to be honest, to think that a person's existence came to be because of me.

I watched as my first cousin, Louisa walked down the aisle. She looked proud too, but I doubt if it was because she was about to marry the man she loved. Love rarely existed in Blackcroft. The women marry because that was the only reason they were born, which was to propagate the empire. The men did all the choosing, and most of the time it was either for looks or for ... talents in bed.

Louisa was picked probably due to her looks. She had the whole hour-glass thing going big time, and the wedding dress brought out her curves very well. Her hair was sleek, glossy and magazine-worthy. In the outside world, she could have become a model. In Blackcroft, she was a Barbie doll on display, destined to grovel at the feet of Ken.

Who in this case was Jeremy, Louisa's third cousin twice removed. Third cousin meant they had the same great-great-grandparent, but since Jeremy was twice removed, he was two generations older than her. Conclusion, Louisa's great-great-great-great-grandfather was Jeremy's great-great grandfather.

Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it after some time.

Jeremy was only two years older than her though, because our happy family is messed up that way. Blackcrofts always marry other Blackcrofts, to - and I quote - keep the bloodline pure. If you ask me I think someone's been reading too much Harry Potter. But what am I saying, you can't get too much of Harry Potter.

Anyway. This meant I'm blood-related to this nose-picking twenty-year-old guy on my right, as well as that helplessly-sobbing-tears-of-joy, wrinkled-faced woman sitting in the corner. Everyone around is my aunt or uncle or cousin something-removed, and every get-together I discover previously unknown long-lost relatives. Because science tells us that incest promotes early childhood deaths due to undesirable genes, Blackcroft set up laws to ensure that inbreeding could still happen - at a less pricely cost. We were not allowed to marry our first and second cousins of the same generation, or the generation above. But you can marry your first cousin if he's twice removed, because that would mean your great-great-grandparent was his grandparent, and the higher-ups were of the opinion that this distance was acceptable.

Trust me, you will get the hang of it.

Jeremy was the only son in his family, which meant he would inherit everything. Now I see why Louisa was so pleased. Blackcroft women were typically shrewd and selfish, because that was the only way we could survive in this cutthroat empire, but Louisa was just about the shrewdest and most selfish of them all.

The vows were taken, rings exchanged and the ceremony completed. Dinner was served buffet-style, and the guests mingled around. I stood alone near a table, and was eyeing a particularly delicious-looking crepe when a hand pressed down firmly on my shoulder.

"Hayley." I tried not to flinch.

A harsh, unforgiving slap, and a stinging mark etched on the cheek.

"You will do as you are told."

I didn't have to look, I knew who that voice belonged to. I picked up a plate and placed the crepe on it before turning around.

"Hello father. Care for a crepe?"

My father looked down at me - figuratively and literally. He was a tall man, brutish in his build, with stubble growing above and around his lips. Usually his expression was severe and expressionless, but today he looked just the slightest bit uncomfortable in his tuxedo. My mother wasn't around to help him dress, and I took pleasure in seeing that his bow tie was crooked.

"I expect you to make impressions, Hayley." His voice was a deep bass, traces of the Russian accent still lingering on after the five years he spent working there.

"Good or bad ones?" I inquired innocently.

He said nothing, but his look was enough. "You are of age and must be sent off soon. I will give you to the first man that asks for your hand, and if he is not to your liking - well, too bad."

"Uncaring and straightforward as usual," I nodded. "Don't worry father, this burden" - and I gestured to all of me - "will soon be off your hands."

He walked away. Right. Time for me to snag a man. What we women can do is to at least make sure we marry a good one, so even if we might not be loved we were treated decently. Weddings were usually our hunting ground, with the women trying their best to impress those we thought worthy, and hoping that we would get chosen over the others. It's a real cat-fight sometimes.

"My my, is our little tigress getting married off already?" came a voice from behind me. "But I haven't even ask you out on a date!"

I stiffened.