I heard someone knocking on my door, I knew it would be Gab and upon opening the door I was proven right. Seeing him, I was still mad and I couldn’t hide my emotion.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, raising my brow indicating my irritation of seeing him.
“Can I come in?” he requested.
I opened the door wider and left the doorway to my living room.
“How did you get past security?”
“I’ve been friends with the guard for quite some time now.”
I should’ve seen that coming. He’s always had to leave his ID when coming up to my room. The guard probably made some small talk while he registered to claim his visitor’s pass.
We sat on the couch but both looked ahead. He turned to me and took out my hand.
“New, I’m really sorry for what I said.” He looked genuinely remorseful.
“I don’t have a good enough excuse for what I said so I’m not gonna defend myself. But I am very very sorry for saying those things.”
My tears came down one by one while I recalled the incident.
“I hope you’ll forgive me.”
“I’m sorry too for punching you.” Excusable or otherwise, I needed to apologize to him for the blow.
“You know, on my way home I’ve come to realise things. In my limited time, I’ve never really understood what my purpose for living is. All I can hope for is that in some way I did serve it.”
“Also, we’re both aware there’s no more hope to treat my illness. And we both know I’ll be leaving you behind soon. So I need you to make me a promise that you can never break.”
We were both crying now.
“Promise me that when I die, you’ll move on, be happy and love again. That you’ll tell me you’ll be OK, find someone to love you longer than I ever can. ”
He broke down, listening to my request.
“New, I don’t know how I can do that.”
“After a few episodes of the pain attacks, I’ve developed this three day system. When the pain starts, I would take it all in. I would scream, cry, and feel every sting, every aching agony this cancer threw at me. The following day, I would try to recover. I would muster up all my strength to conquer over the strain. Finally on the third day, with all the courage I could gather, I would walk away. This doesn’t mean the pain has completely subsided, you’re allowed to suffer still. But life demands that you move on otherwise that wouldn’t be life.”
“Please do the same, Gab. Grieve and mourn my death, cry the pain and suffering away. But never give in, I need you to be strong and courageous enough to go forward in life.”
Gab kissed my hands and looked me in the eye.
“I promise, New.”
Contented with his simple words, I kissed his lips.
“I love you so much, Gab.”
“I love you too, New. Always and forever.”
We sat there in contenting silence, my head rested on his chest, looking out at the window to the setting sun. There won’t be many moments like this left for me. Soon I will fade away, become one with the earth. I just hoped everything would be alright when I’m gone. All I can do is trust Gab to fight, to continue on with life. Life was cruel, it was vile and vicious, but like a rose, it too possessed beauty many could only envy.
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