I've quite recently realised that, throughout the years, I've developed such complex and weird coping mechanisms, that sometimes it comes really hard for me to fully understand them, let alone put them on paper. This was one of the first that I've noticed though, and I've been able to tackle it down and try my best to explain it. (see next episode)
I don't know the reason behind it just yet, though, but I'm thinking it might be because I'm not very good at keeping my emotions in check when I'm around other people, so I automatically resort to this??
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