Darkness and Crimson (2)
Jun 17, 2020
Mamoru taking on two brutes.
Lunarsun
Top comment
Okay, I am going to be honest here, your second page (panels 5 -8) is really confusing and the dialogue don't quite flow right. I am not really sure how to fix it, because it feels like some thing or other is missing here.
I think switching panels 5 and 6 might help, because her running away sets her up better for the 7th panel with Kido teleport to her than her shouting face does.
Other than that one page, I love everything else. Their facial expressions are on point and the reveal at the end is very nicely put. I like how the dialogue helps me learn more about the characters than something being pointed out earlier and being rehashed to death.
My favorite panel is the one with his hair falling away when he snaps back to himself. It's so great that you didn't forget to add in that little bit of details to his transforming back.
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