“Hey! Wait up. Just let me explain!” I yell as Carla rushes out of the classroom. 

It is stupid to care this much. I am already the outsider here, so what is one more alienation to me? But she thought I lied to her because she is a paranormal? How did that even make sense? I wouldn’t let her think that I hate her because of something so stupid.

“Kid, when a girl is running like this, it means you’ve broken her heart. It’s on those telescreens all the time.” Jac suggests from my shoulder. I want to tell him that it is called a television but it doesn’t seem important right now.

“Carla, I didn’t mean it like that.” I tell her halfway down the hallway. She stops, and spins on her heels to face me. Her short curly blond hair swayed when she did so. Her hair shines even more than Colin’s does. I hate myself for even noticing that.

“Then, what? What did you mean?” She shoots back. Her arms are crossed and she looks ready to kill. I shrink back a little. I run my hands through my hair.

“I- I’m not used to that other name yet. I was recently added to a new family registry-” I stop when I notice a group of people starting to gather around us. This was getting out of hand. I grab Carla’s hand and tug her out behind the building. The only other person out here was a busy student doing last minute homework. We’ll get the privacy we need.

“It’s not about you. My mate added me to the family registry without really asking and it's weird because usually in human culture, when you take someone’s last name, it means you're married, you know? But I’m like- nineteen? I can’t be married! I barely have a highschool diploma and he expects me to be okay with taking his family name? And this stupid college forced me to-”

“Wait. So, it’s not about you distancing yourself from a paranormal?” She stops me mid-rant.

“Of course not. I’m a dragon. Why would I care what you are?” I ask her bluntly. Jac starts pulling at my ear to get my attention but I swat him away.

“And your mate- is a guy?” She asks. Carla doesn’t seem grossed out or anything. Just surprised. I nod. She took a deep breath to center herself before looking back up at me. Jac yanks at my ear hard enough to pull me over and I yelped.

“Is this true? Humans do not take their lover’s family name until they are married?” Jac yells into my bruised ear lobe. I brushed his hand away and groaned.

I hadn’t meant for another dragon to hear that. I know he is going to tell Master Wei as soon as we get home. It isn’t like I want to go back to being Sam Reid. I am kind of in a purgatory at the moment. I don’t want to be Sam Wei because of the implications of marriage, and I don’t want to be Sam Reid because it is a human name. I would like to be Sam. Just, Sam.

“Yes, it’s true! Now stop yanking on my ear. And don’t you dare tell Master Wei about this!” I growl at him. Identity is a painful thing and it is slowly killing me inside. Balancing the human side of me and the dragon side gets harder every day. Both sides of myself seem to be constantly colliding and causing massive earthquakes within me.

“Awesome! We should totally hang out!” Carla squeals. She hugs me excitedly. I was too surprised to hug her back, so I just stood there awkwardly. If she could accept that… then maybe Colin could too. Ugh, look at me. A girl is hugging me and all I think about it Colin.

Something rips Carla off of me and I’m almost too startled to do anything. I turn to see Colin standing over Carla.

“He is mine!” Colin growls like a savage ape with no concept of literally anything. Veins are popping out of his forehead and he looks like he might charge at any moment. He is a crazy person, clearly.

Carla is sprawled out on the ground with her books thrown everywhere. I push Colin out of the way and help her stand up. The emotions running through me were all very negative, but Colin deserves to hear what I have to say. So I let him have it.

“What is wrong with you? What were you thinking, ‘show her I’m a possessive asshole’?” I yell at him. Colin bows his head in shame and clenches his fists. I almost never yell at him anymore. The one student had stopped his last minute panic for homework and is now watching us. No one would want to miss this drama from your average telenovela.

I collect her things off the ground and profusely apologize. I even bowed. Maybe out of habit from living with Master Wei.

“I’m so sorry. He gets a little crazy sometimes.” I hand her books back to her and notice the scrapes she endured from landing on the ground too roughly. I shake my head angrily. Why was Colin so reckless when it came to me? I know it isn’t really what he meant to do. Being in this human environment… and even coming on his own… It must have been stressful for him. But it doesn’t excuse the issue, not one bit.

“Colin, this is Carla. Carla, this is my mate, Colin. He just got a little confused.” I turn to him with a scowl on my face during the last part. I mean, I understand getting jealous but pushing someone onto the ground? He is asking for it.

“Oh. I’m really sorry. I didn’t realize…” Carla bows her head low. I shake my head.

“No, don’t be. It was just a misunderstanding. Colin doesn’t get out that much.” I pause to gather my thoughts. “Why don’t we get some coffee to make up for it?” I suggest. If I could put Colin at ease, he would feel better. Why was I worried about how he felt after he just shoved a girl onto the ground with dragon level strength? I sigh. Of course I was worried; he is my mate after all.

She nodded yes to coffee and I turned to Colin. His hair was messy, and he was wearing colony clothing. It was loose fitting to ensure that it came on and off easily for dragons who could transform. The problem with that was that the clothing wasn’t made for North Carolina’s autumn weather. Colin was shivering and his clothes weren’t keeping him warm at all.

“Here. Take my jacket, it’s too cold to where Songyi’s outside.” I told him as I unzipped my jacket. I used the formal name of the traditional dragon clothing because I knew if I didn’t, Colin would be mad. I didn’t speak chinese like he did. But I did love to hear him speak it.

“No, it’s fine. You aren’t supposed to wear anything over it.” Colin refused me even though he was clutching his arms together like he was freezing to death. It was fifty and windy, but otherwise a nice day if you were used to it. Colin clearly wasn’t. I wonder what it's like, never going outside as a kid.

“My brother’s got his basketball clothes. They’re clean and he doesn’t need them since it's the first day. Would you wear a jacket with those on?” Carla asked. She really was a good person. Colin looked like he was about to say something mean, but I gave him a stern look to shut him up. He nodded wordlessly instead. Good decision, I thought mentally. Hopefully he would feel it through the wild bond of his.

I don’t know what his deal is lately. Either he’s really excited and happy, or he’s just really angry, no inbetween. I didn’t even get a chance to ask him why he was here before Carla grabbed us by the wrist and pulled us down the corridor. She was probably taking us to get Colin some normal clothes. Some part of me was relieved. I wanted Colin to fit in here. Feel comfortable here.

If Colin liked it in the human world, I would be able to convince him to come out more. Some part of me - most likely the human part- wanted more than anything for Colin to like this world. Then maybe I would feel less divided. Less like I didn’t fit in either world.

Carla stopped in front of one of the many basketball courts and peered in. She smiled at one of the boys and asked him a question.

“Have you seen my brother?” She asked.

“Nah, hasn’t been around today. Something about a difficult math class?” The guy answered back. Another player ran the ball toward him and he stopped talking to defend his side of the court. Shoes squeaked and hip hop music played in the background. I had forgotten about sports. I wasn’t big into playing them myself, but I loved the atmosphere.

“Could you grab his bag for me? Thanks.” She asked the guy once the commotion had settled down a little. He nodded and ran off court and into the men’s locker room. She turned to Colin and pointed at the door.

“Go change. We’ll wait here.” She told him. Colin looked nervous as hell. It occured to me that maybe he’d never seen a basketball game before. I handed him my jacket, and pushed him into the gym. That was my way of trying to tell him that he’d be fine.

He stumbled in, and when the people came charging down the court to chase after the basketball, Colin panicked. He flung himself out of the way and tripped on his own feet. Oh no. The guys stopped playing and let the basketball bounce against the hardwood floors until it eventually pebbled out and rolled away.

“Is he a foreigner?” A kid asked. Colin scrambled to his feet and clenched the long sleeves of the Songyi. This wasn’t good. Any bad or nervous feelings would make Colin feel uncomfortable, which was exactly the opposite of what I wanted him to feel. That was a selfish thing to think about, I know that.

“I think so. Does he speak English?” They crowded him now. I stumbled in after him and put myself between the basketball guys and Colin. They weren’t going to bully him. This was college. But I knew that Colin felt shame easier than most, and this was definitely shame to him.

“He’s just nervous, is all. Don’t mind us.” I told the guys. They shrugged, and went back to trying to score a basket against one another.

“Hey, Carla. I found your brother’s bag. And your brother.” The guy came out of the locker room with Carla’s brother, and a gym bag in his hand. He smiled jokingly and handed Carla’s brother the gym bag. Carla’s brother didn’t look nearly as happy as the other guy did.

I helped Colin stand up, and we walked back over to where Carla was. Her brother took the liberty of pushing us out of the gym doorway and out into the windy corridor. Colin shivered again.

“How many kids are you going to lend my clothes to? And why are you hanging out with a freak again?” The guy asked. He was tall, muscled, and didn’t look anything like Carla. He had a buzz cut, and an oddly angular face. I tried not to take offense when the guy called us weird. I saw Colin wince out of the corner of my eye.

“He’s not any weirder than I am. So be nice, okay?” Carla defended. Colin looked up from the ground for the first time since he’d fallen.

“Whatever. Just don’t let it turn out like last time.” The brother warned and shoved the bag into Colin’s hands with enough force to knock a normal person over. He looked generally surprised when Colin didn’t fall over from the force.

“I know.” Carla said quietly. It was said so quietly that no one but Colin and I could hear.

***