Kiss Me
Omegaverse
Walker
Part Eleven
Sitting on my balcony with the late evening rolling in I sit watching Marcus, watching me. It was silent between us, but right. We didn't need any words, not yet. The sound of the ocean calmed us enough. Honestly, I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. Beautiful. So beautiful and as much as he'd complain, I couldn't wait to watch his belly grow, see his body change before my very eyes. I couldn't wait to touch his belly and feel our baby move. I was way more excited for this than Marcus was, but I know as soon as he'd feel the baby or even see it on the sonogram, he'd be happy too. He's already dropped the baby word a few times and not it. So I knew he was at least coming around to the idea, even just a little. I still think he feels weird that I call the baby mine, but why wouldn't I? Marcus is mine, so the life growing in his belly was too.
"This is nice coffee," he murmured, cradling it in his hands. "I can be very particular when it comes to coffee and this is perfect."
"I'm glad you like it."
"Well, you do have one of those fancy machines you see in coffee shops. I really need to learn to use it so I can make you coffee before you go to work in the mornings." I was heating up from the inside hearing him say that. Although I knew I would be up way long before he would be in the mornings. But just hearing that made my heart swell in my chest. "What do you do for work?"
"Oh yeah. I was meant to give you a quick rundown, right?"
"Yep and I'm not feeling so sleepy right now, so I'm sure you could tell me a little more."
"Alright," I said and inched closer to him. "I work in my Father's company. We develop apps. But it has to go through me first before we decide if it's right or will even be profitable."
"What kind of apps have you developed so far?"
"Mainly social networking apps and a few game's. But at the moment we're working with a group of uni students that have been creating an art app for student's to develop their skills outside of the classroom."
"I see. I don't know anything about art, but I appreciate looking at it. Sometimes. Like some of the stuff you have on your walls."
I smiled. He liked my art. "I did those."
"Wait, what? Really?"
"Yeah, a long time ago though. That's why the app caught my eye."
"You're full of surprises."
"I'll keep on surprising you," Marcus frowned and looked away. I was losing him again. Nope, not now. "Hey. Don't be glum, Please."
"It's not that, not really. I'm just not used to it. I've whored it for a long time, I'm not always sure what to make of this," he paused to drink some more of his coffee, then held it back in his lap. "Like, I'm not saying I don't like it Walker, because I do. I'm just a bit scared."
"I know. I am too."
His eyes finally met mine again. They danced in the fading light. "What are you afraid of exactly?"
"Losing you."
"Does it look like I'll be going anywhere. Not only have we paired, but I'm going to be as fat as a beach ball soon."
"I mean emotionally."
"Emotionally?"
"Yeah. You shut off emotionally sometimes and act tough when you don't need to, not with me anyway."
"Please don’t psychoanalyze me." He moans.
"I’m not. But let me just tell you what I’ve observed," I said persistently, because he clearly needed to hear it.
"And how would that be different than psychoanalyzing me?"
I ignored him and continued. "It isn’t that you don’t feel things, it’s kind of the opposite. If anything, you feel things too deeply. Instead of being honest with your emotions, you deflect with humour, hoping that whatever your feeling will just disappear." I felt enormously pleased with myself when I finished speaking.
"Hey, thanks for that. No one ever called me a self-centered asshole with such finesse before."
"See."
"Shut up." He grumbled.
"Truthfully though Marcus, you don't need to be so tough around me or anyone for that matter. Relax now. Enjoy what's on offer."
"That would be you." He winked and clicked his gums, shooting his finger my way.
"Well, yeah. Enjoy me, like I enjoy you. Even though your mind is pretty warped at times."
"Well yeah."
"Marcus you really need to keep off the Internet."
"But it's packed full of knowledge."
"Yeah it is, but if you put in there you had a headache and asked for answers on how to get rid of it, it would probably say you're going to die in twenty four hours unless you sacrifice a goat to the gods."
"Wow. Would it really say that?"
God he's just….so beautifully hilarious. "You wanna go to bed. I've got one day left before I go back to work."
"Can we go on the beach tomorrow?"
"Yep. All day if that's what you want."
He nodded. "I want that." I stared at him for a moment longer. I didn't get to tell him much about myself in the end. We always seem to get sidetracked by something else and now all I really wanted to do was take my guy to bed and cuddle. We've not had much of that in the short time since we met. So it was on the top of my to do list, amongst other things. But those things could wait. I needed to hug the crap out of him all night.
Kiss Me
To my surprise when I woke this morning and after I yawned loudly and stretched my arms, I found him in the kitchen, trying to work out how to make coffee with the machine I had. Once I’d shown him how to use it, he seemed determined to work it himself and in a few minutes I'd have my requisite morning cup of steaming espresso in front of me. "Ha! Got it. Look." I thanked him and sat watching as he made one for himself. Then he took the seat at my side and cradled the cup in his long, narrow fingers, as if he could absorb the heat it gave off and hold on to it forever.
"How are you feeling this morning?"
"Fine, for now. But you never know when the vomit will appear." He laughed a little, but his humor fell kind of flat today. His spark was fading. He's thinking again, probably unnecessary things so I needed to pull him from this thought process.
"Let's enjoy the coffee, then we can sort about going to the beach," I was hoping that was enough to brighten his mood, but nothing. "Marcus, talk to me."
"About what?"
"Anything. Just say it. Whatever it is."
He turned to face me and slid his coffee away. Lips parted, ready to say what he needed to say, but then he shut his mouth and shook any thoughts he had whizzing around his head away. "I'm good." Was all I got.
It's a lie. I wanted to say it. Don't lie, just talk to me. But I don't. Instead I pulled him to me, resting his head to my chest. Then he hiccupped and I lifted his face to mine. A small lonely tear slipped out of his eye and down his cheek to plop on my bare leg. "Please don't cry."
"I...I can't help it," he stuttered, staring at me as a few more tears fell from his beautifully sad eyes. "I'm so scared, Walker. Not even a little bit. I'm terrified."
"You have me. I know it's probably not what you want to hear, but you do. You can cry and scream and I'll still be here, with you. I'll carry everything that you're carrying, for you. Will you let me do that?" I kept hold of him, wanting to feel him in my arms, wanting to keep him there forever, where he was needed, where I needed him and I did need him as much as he needed me. "Would you like a bath?" I asked, only because last night he literally screamed at how big it was.
"Yeah."
"Good." I said, because I wanted him to wash him and I led him to the bathroom, filling the deep tub with warm water and bubbles.
He stripped out of his bed clothes before I could leave the room and sank all the way into the water, pinching his nose to dunk his head, staying under until he had to burst out for air, long enough for me to start worrying he was never coming back up. Before I was even aware of it, I had knelt beside the bath to pick up a sponge. Sitting hunched in the middle of the tub, he let me wash him. I smoothed the soap over his flawless skin. I washed him all over, with no sexual connotation to my intimate soaping of his body. He gave himself up to my care like an infant. Like it was something he'd never had before and I absolutely more than loved doing it, I'd do it as many times as he wanted or needed. "Will...will I love this baby, Walker?" He asked and rubbed over his flat stomach.
"Yes, you'll love him or her like no other."
"But what about you?"
"What about me?"
"Does that mean I won't love you."
"No, it's a different kind of love. Maternal love."
"But what if I can't love the baby," He was really thinking about it, like it would make him cruel if he didn't love the child growing in his belly. Yet I had to face the hard truth that it was a possibility. So I knew I had to give, not take. I had to love his body as it had never been loved before. Never again would he know brutality. Never again would he sell himself just to eat. He needed love and care, to know that no matter what it will all be okay. I'll make him brave enough to face the storm brewing inside him. To love not only himself but our baby. He has it in him somewhere, I just needed to find it and let it bloom. "I hope I can." He added and rubbed his hands over his wet face.
I sat for a moment, watching him pop bubbles before I got up and grabbed the huge bath towel off the rail. "Do you still want to go to the beach?"
"Not yet."
I held the towel out for him and stepped out of the bath and straight into my arms. So I wrapped the towel around his beautiful body. "Shall we go back to bed for a little longer?"
His eyes turned down for the briefest of moments, then they were back again. Fire burning in them. His sweet scent seeped into the air around us, making my heart go crazy again. "I want to fuck you. Can I fuck you?" he sounded desperate. It wasn’t like I needed convincing. He took care of me and made it good for me, like the first time as rough as it was good and perfect. I no longer had any fear with him. I craved it.
"Yeah." I led him down the hallway to our room, and when we entered I smiled. Yet I tried to convince myself that this wasn't a distraction. So I undressed quickly, watching him drop the towel. He got on the bed first, patting the sheets.
"Hurry, Walker. I need to be inside you." My stomach swirled with excitement, and I joined him. When he reached for the lube and a condom, my heart began to pound.
I leaned in and kissed him, loving the sweet taste of him. Once the kiss ended, I whispered. "I don’t want you to use a condom." He stilled, and frowned.
"Are you sure?" I nodded.
"I want to feel you, inside me. Because there's no one else for me, just you, all of you."
"There was never anyone else for me. Ever," His heartfelt statement just made me even more certain of my decision. I tugged him on top of me, holding his heated gaze. "I know I haven’t said a lot of the things I feel for you out loud." He smiled, his eyes affectionate.
"It’s okay."
He shook his head. "No. It’s not." He lowered his head and took my mouth in a long, hot kiss. I moaned into his mouth, sliding my body against his, needing more. I held him tight, sucking his tongue and opening my thighs. When the kiss ended, he licked his lips, grabbing the lube.
Feeling nervous, I forced myself to speak. "That kiss told me everything I need to know."
He slicked two fingers and watched me closely as he slid them inside me. I moaned at the pleasurable invasion, arching my back and clenching myself around him. I hardened even more as he pulled his fingers in and out of me, the friction so good I could only pant out my approval. I slid my hands down his spine, cupping his firm ass cheeks. He kissed me, pushing his fingers deeper, making me groan loudly. Then he pulled out of me and got between my knees, looking flushed and hungry. His cock was full, the tip ruddy and glistening. I held his gaze and I spread my legs, offering myself to him. I felt short of breath as he lowered himself onto me.
Before he pushed in, he leaned in to kiss me. His eyes were fevered and he whispered, "I love you." My eyes stung and I nodded, tugging at his hips.
"Show me." He nodded and pushed in one long push. I cried out, half pain, half pleasure. Arching my back, I dug my heels into the bed, loving the feel of his hot flesh inside me. I shuddered as he began to thrust, the pleasure so intense, I couldn’t stop trembling. I dug my fingers into his biceps, holding his gaze. "Oh, shit," I wheezed. "So good." His abs stroked me with every thrust, and my climax began to build almost immediately. I opened my mouth, needing to tell him how much he meant to me. Because if there was anyone who deserved for me to try, it was Marcus. Instead I held him as close to me as possible, maybe pull him into my body.
So I wrapped my legs around him and that seemed to excite him even more. He began to pound into me harder, holding my gaze and moaning. "Oh, fuck, Walker, Oh, fuck." I nodded, understanding what he felt because I felt it too. This was almost too intense, too pleasurable. He was on the edge, I could see it on his tense face. "I’m gonna come inside you." He came with a cry that led to more tears and I came seconds later, then pressed my lips to his. I didn't want him to be sad or cry, but I also knew I couldn't stop it. He'd left a life he was so used to. He was pregnant with another guy's baby and here I was accepting everything that he is, offering not only my body for him to heal but loving him the way he needed to be loved and accepting him the way he needed accepting. Marcus just needed to let himself catch up and realize that I was with him for the long haul and that's forever.
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