The waves slipped ashore, one after another, lapping gently at the sand. The westering sun caught the ocean aflame, burning in dazzling hues of orange, red and yellow as the earth turned her face away from it. Sachi sat on the sand and watched as the waves ran into one another, splitting, reforming and splitting again in an endless dance. She pulled her knees up to her chest and laid her head on them, closing her eyes as she faced the dying sun.

Normally she found peace here. Far from the city she felt calm and could let the stress and worry wash away with the tide, but she couldn’t find that spot in the core of her being the sea spoke to and calmed today. Everything was wrong. Everything was broken, and she’d broken it.

In her heart she knew she was being too hard on herself and that her flight from the Hall had been nothing more than self pity, worry and panic but even knowing that couldn’t bring her comfort. She had joined Kunoichi at the start more out of a sense of rebellion than a desire to be famous.

Her parents had planned her life out for her far in advance without even bothering to ask what she wanted. She was going to get her law degree, join the law firm her parents ran, become a skilled attorney protecting big corporate interests, marry whomever they’d picked out for her, have three sons and live out her life in the neat little box they’d built to restrict her. Her sister had always had the freedom to choose but Sachi had expectations to live up to and the burden of being custodian of her family’s honor and prestige

She’d played along for awhile, too. She’d finished High School at 16, graduated from Kokugakuin University at 19 and had finished her law degree by 21. While finishing her bar exam she’d seen an advertisement for dancers and singers in one of the newspapers they gave away for free near her apartment. More out of a sense of morbid curiosity than actual desire to either dance or sing she’d gone to the audition.

She’d been shocked to find her friend from college, Mari, amongst the hopefuls. More surprising than anything else was when she was accepted as a member of a girl group called Mangetsu. She’d been disappointed when Mari was denied but the two kept in touch and when Mangetsu collapsed after the lead singer got pregnant Sachi had been tagged as the first member of the new group management was putting together called Kunoichi. She had insisted on Mari joining and a month later Yukiko was added and two months after that Akari.

“Ah, Akari,” Sachi sighed, dropping her head and letting her hair fall into her face. Just thinking about Akari made her heart race. She had looked so lost and innocent and sweet the first time Sachi met her. She bowed and smiled so much that Sachi thought maybe something was wrong with her mentally.

Initially Sachi felt the need to mother the poor girl. Akari was living in a youth hostel with two other girls in a room barely big enough for one person. Sachi had brought her to her apartment after awhile and given her a room of her own and showed her the joys of shopping. Sachi watched with pride as Akari grew into her own person and started to dominate the conversations around the industry. People showed up to watch her. They stood in line to have her sign hats and notebooks and Kunoichi curios and she had signed them all. She had greeted each fan with a smile and laugh and kindness that radiated like a sun wherever she went.

Then Yukiko happened. It had driven a wedge between them. Akari was still the same as ever but Yukiko changed. She became jealous and possessive and, Akari being Akari, didn’t notice. Maybe I became jealous, too, Sachi thought to herself. Maybe I was jealous Yukiko had taken her away. Maybe I wanted Akari for myself. “You’re lucky I love you.” Her own words echoed in her mind. What had I meant? She asked. What kind of love do I have for Akari?

“I love you, Akari,” Sachi whispered, the words feeling natural and right coming from her lips. “But in what way do I love you?” Sachi stood and brushed the sand from her skirt. “I have to see her. I have to apologize. I have to talk to her. I have to know.” Sachi watched the setting sun for a moment longer before walking back to her car and slipping into the driver’s seat. She glanced down at her phone and found she had missed messages. She fumbled for a long moment to get through the lock screen, not wanting to know what the messages were, terrified of something horrible happening to Akari, but needing to know simultaneously.

Most of the messages were from Mari. But the two from Hiroto caught her attention first, one simply said press conference, and the other was a video of said conference. Sachi turned her phone horizontally and pressed play with shaking fingers. The screen flashed a moment before a disheveled Hiroto appeared behind a makeshift podium set up outside the Hall.

“As many of you know, Akari suffered a setback in her recovery today and was readmitted to the hospital for evaluation.” Hiroto began, reading from a notebook page in front of him. “This has been a very difficult time for Kunoichi and has created a lot of strain for everyone.”

“Akari’s health is of paramount importance to all of us and her doctors and guardian are in agreement that a break and change of scenery will best speed her recovery,” it looked like Hiroto was going to cry. “Effective immediately we have released Akari from her contract with us per the wishes of her guardian. Kunoichi is on hiatus while we discuss options. We sincerely apologize for the trouble we have caused in regards to the tour but as of this moment it has been postponed. Refunds will be issued immediately for those who want them. Thank you.”

The screen flashed again and went blank. Sachi stared at her phone, unmoving, as the sun set below the horizon and bathed the world in darkness. The street lights flickered to life but seemed dim and cold as Sachi stared at the darkened screen through eyes misted with tears.