Reporter:

     People swear when they’re angry, it’s a natural reaction to being hurt, or getting angry, or it's just a daily thing. A very common swear, is damn, or damn it. Here’s where things get interesting, because to damn something is to “stop” it, or condemn someone to Hell. What I’m getting at here… is that people damn things, not just people. Let’s see how The Devil feels about all this.

     Satan: 

    *angerly* STOP, just stop throwing the term around, I was okay with it when I got more people down here. But It’s gotten ridiculous!

   Reporter:

   Ridiculous how?

   Satan:

   I get broken cars, thorns, legos, desk corners, everything irritating you can think of! Last year we had a MOSQUITO AND WASP infestation! Mosquitoes and wasps shouldn’t even be able to exist down here!

   Reporter:

  What measures have you taken to stop all this sort of stuff from entering Hell?

   Satan:

   Well for one… *exasperated sigh* I’ve been trying to get people to stop swearing.

   Reporter:

   I take it that’s not going well.

   Satan:

   *dirty look* *sarcastically* No, it’s going fine. *serious* What do you think? You people can turn anything into a swear word.

   Reporter:

   *mildly confused* I’m not too sure about that.

   Satan:

   Well, Hell is a place, Damn means to stop, and is also something to stop water from going places. Bitch is a female dog. Fuck means sex, ass is either a butt or a donkey, I could go on and on.

   Reporter:

   Well they are insults and derogatory terms.

   Satan:

   Then why do I hear people throwing them around like softballs?! Seriously, even wrath doesn't swear that much!

   Reporter:

   I… don’t have an answer for that.

  Satan:

   What I’m saying, is that people should really know what those words mean, and use them in the correct context if they really want to say them. You wouldn’t go up to someone you hate and say, “I’m going to sex you up.” Would you?

   Reporter:

   Well… no… no you wouldn’t.

   Satan:

   Well that’s what people are saying when they say, “I’m going to fuck you up.” Your species is supposed to be intelligent, come on.

   Reporter:

   *to the camera* So, that was The Devils surprising personal opinion on the topic of swearing, and using terms out of context.

   Satan:

   *growl* Why is that so surprising? It’s cause I’m the Devil isn’t it? *irritated sigh* and you guys call me the harsh one.

   *news channel fades out*