„That is an amazing Picture, Kai! Damn, do you even know how good you are? I am so jealous.“ Shouted Yasmin in my ear. I held my cell phone far enough from my ear to avoid hearing damage and said not without a soft undertone: „Stop Screaming, Yasmin.“ Yasmin who is my best friend (and my cousin) since forever called me right after I send her a picture I took today. We’ve known each other forever but I still can’t get used to her screams. „Sorry, but for real Kai this picture is so good you should give it to a Contest or something.“

She said now. „Yeah probably not.“ I answered in a bitter tone. „Why not? Think about it Kai, I know you hate it if people judge you or give you unwanted attention, but I am sure there are some Contests where you can stay anonymous.“ Yasmin said on the other side of the phone. I could here some background voices and someone shouting something I couldn’t understand. The Noise of a arriving Train cut Yasmins following sentence: „Alright, my Train is there. I have to go now. Think about it Kai and next time you meet this design student make sure to send me a picture from him! Love you, bye!“

Although I didn’t understand everything I knew what she said anyway because I know her better than myself. So I answered: „Love you too, bye. And have a nice trip“. I heard her chuckle and something that sounded like „Don’t avoid the rest of my sentence.“

Than the connection broke and I was left alone in my room hearing the continuous toot that confirmed to me that the conversation was over.

An embarrassing feeling of emptiness seemed to fill me and so I started to study to avoid being alone with my thoughts. Yasmin was not only my best friend she was also the only friend I had.

Sure there was a time when not everyone avoided me but they weren’t real friends. The started to ignore me with the time like everyone else did. I understand why, though. No one would want to hang around with a awkward kid who was being bullied. They wouldn’t have earned a thing by doing so. I can’t even say when the bullieing started.

My Familie was quite rich back in time. My Mum owned a Company and everything was going well. One day my dad came home, I still remember the smell of alcohol mixed with cigaret smoke and the lost expression he had on his face, clear like water. My Mum had a rough day that time and was angry at dad for some reason I didn’t understand back then. I was standing at the door with my pajamas and my teddy in the hand. I couldn’t sleep that night. I don’t really remember anything else than my mum and dad fighting thenceforth. I think I was six that time. Afterwards I found out that my dad gambled with mums money. And as we all know, nothing good ever comes from gambling. He lost such a high amount that day, that my mum had to close her Company. My dad ruined her dream she always said. Than she looked over my head her eyes full of tears and told into the emptiness that she should have kicked us both out the moment I was born.

My Mum was too proud to admit that we weren’t rich anymore so she just stayed with buying expensive clothes and throwing expensive parties. She was like a Luxus addict clinging on every straw she got. Money began to became everything she cared about and so she soon started to cheat on dad with rich old man who were willing to pay for her shoes. She couldn't deal with her downfall and started to get skinnier and skinnier. There were times when we didn’t had anything else than bread and alcohol at home for weeks, because my mum spend all the money we had, on luxuries. My dad couldn’t bring himself to say something against it because he knew it was himself who made her become what she was now. So my dad started to drink and my mom started to get skinnier and skinnier. My six year old myself was just at home in my room not understanding what was happening and why his mum ignored him and his dad looked at him with an expression of self-hate and fear.