"Would you leave me alone for once?" I utter a stupid question, knowing well that it won't ever happen.

"If I do that then who will make you feel like the shit you are?" He bursts into a fit of laughter as I tolerate his mockery.

He's right about one thing I hate to admit I agree with. Despite hating his very presence around me, there are times when I can say he has valid points. Regardless of my feelings, he's not that bad of a person as he portrays himself to be.

I turn to him, staring deep into those eyes of his, almost being hypnotized to join the darkness he rose from. Within them, I see years of experience and wisdom hidden behind iron walls and a depressing cloud of a bitter judgement.

"How much longer do you plan to play this part of yours?" I inquire, hoping to find another change in his composure.

His expression softens for a half of a second and reverts to its usual, stoic form as if he wasn't fazed at all. I can't say I would blame him, yet again, for reasons I choose not to understand. Whichever it is, it's working out for me well.

"Until the day you die," He tells me, a rare smile on his lips.

He receives joy in tormenting me for as long as he pleases, but I find him to be persistent and aggravating. I may feel that way, but it's relieving to know there is someone I can talk to, whether or not I'm crazy. Everyone wants someone to talk to, even if they don't want to admit it.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." The incoherent mutter leaves me before I can register anything.

"Mr. Roman?"

My head snaps in the direction of the voice beckoning for my attention. My eyes meet Dr. Theodore's bright, electric blue ones in an instant. The silence between us lingers as neither of us can get any words out. My body comes to a halt in all its movement as my hands clutch the couch's upholstery for dear life.

"Cy!"

The door opens once more to reveal none other than Alexei with his newest "girlfriend". Their sudden appearance startles us both.

"It's time to - Well, kiss my ass and call me Joseph!"

Reality sets in once the words fly from his lips. Dr. Theodore rises from his seat on the couch beside me and journeys toward his armchair, taking his rightful place in it. I let out a soft sigh and get up as well.

"Thank you for having us, Dr. Theodore." I force a smile for them to see in order to be at ease.

"It was my pleasure," He beams, his most genuine smile lighting up the room before he goes on to say, "I hope to see you next time."

For another half of a second, the hole in my chest closes up an inch before it reverts to its normal size. My mind begins to ponder on several possibilities as to why that is. I can't seem to come up with one I agree with. Amidst those thoughts lives the small possibility of joy from something as simple as a goodbye like his.

With that in mind, I come to the conclusion I may be insane. I shake my head at the sickening thought, leaving his office with Alexei. With his date at his side, we journey to the parking lot where both cars sit waiting for us.

"I'm gonna go catch a movie with Autumn here. I'll see ya later." He waves goodbye to me as he leaves with Autumn in his car beside him.

I nod in response and wave goodbye as they leave me to be alone in the lot. The thought of someone coming to kill me in the lot brings a smile to my face. The excitement of dying floods my mind. As soon as they appear, they vanish into thin air as though they never existed.

The silence of the lot sends a wave of peace through my mind, my thoughts coming to haunt me, and tell me all about how I'm not worthy of anything. I can only dream of a time when I'm content with the life I lead, but that's only a dream of mind. I must be able to sleep before I can dream.

A chuckle escapes me at the mere words crossing my mind, replacing the once stoic composure I hold. I let out a content sigh and get into my car, hoping I have no more appointments or matters to attend to for the rest of the day.

"I should go home now. Maybe I'll be able to get some sleep," I mutter to myself as I start my car.

The engine revs at a low volume, the car vibrating in a soft manner.

"Let's go home."

Darkness spills over the area like blood spilled on white tiled floors. A glistening light like a reminder of hope shines through despite the various refusals the clouds offer. Without a doubt, I need one, but I can't come to admit to myself because I'm an obstinate waste of space.

As usual, I'm lost in the depths of my mind, trying to find a way to escape from the darkness consuming my soul before I disappear in its gentle embrace. I know once I do, I'll lose everything I've worked so hard to gain. If I do, I would have to start over and go back to them. Not again.

My mind, controlled by something inside my head, travels much further than I expect it to. I can't help wondering what my life would have been like if I hadn't escaped before they brainwashed me as they did to the others.

My only wish now is that I can find something to pass the time other than writing and therapy. Average, I know it to be true, but there's nothing else I can do. I let out a sigh one last time before I retreat to my room, sliding my balcony's door shut behind me. As usual, I'm as alone as I always am.

I steal a glance at the clock on the wall. 2 in the morning. I should be sleeping, but I can't seem to. I have many things to get done, but procrastination is all I'm good for at the time. A good way to make my life even worse than necessary.

"Maybe I should just grab a bottle of Scotch, a glass and head onto the balcony. At least this time I'm not using an E-cig."