I wonder if I should chase after my dreams

That no one even bothers to hear

Or should I just chase after the dough, the cream

While in the night I shed so many tears

If I chose to go after what I don't know

I wonder if the weight of failure would push me so low

Even lower than I am, where there won't be no hope

But if I stay at the desk and keep going solo

Would I always feel this hollow

And even if I get my dreams, I win over my team

What if I just suffer from an internal disease

Darkness and hopelessness inside me that will never cease

Enjoying the fame, the money, but still wanting a release

From this world itself, I know its unhealthy but please

Better write it down than think about it without cease

What can I do, a real sloth I just want true peace

Not for just 5 minutes but forever, eternal peace

Oh, the worst of it is these thoughts will drive me mad

The indecision of it, you don't know how bad

The state of mind it puts one in

Sometimes I feel like deciding by a toss and putting the rest in a bin

This rhyme's going long but hey I put an hour in

Why did I do the toss again? Was I not my own boss again?

How should I know which path will bring me what loss or gain?

The mind's struggle is tough, I just hope I can win again

I promise that this time I won't commit sin again

I must have done a lot of that in my past life

That's why I'm innocent but feel guilty ever since

Why did poetry become a part of my essence

Did a demon possess me

And is riding over my thoughts, suppressing me?

Or is it really me, that just wants to impress myself

And earn for it like a printing press G?

But where did it come from and why had it came

And where will it go and who is there to blame

For what it did to me, and for me, or am I still the same?

Whatever happens, I guess I still get to play videogames.