Things become easier with you around. Nothing is no longer uncomfortable. I'm not as scared as I once was. You have slowly stripped the fear away and replaced it with courage.

……….

The car ride was silent at the beginning. We didn't say much until we were out of the city.

“She called at six.”

I look over at Ziah and he is looking out the window. I don't say anything, because I know he isn't finished.

“She called at 6. I already had chicken seasoned, veggies washed, I even bought her favorite expensive wine.”

So that is what I heard being thrown against the wall.

He drags his hands over his face. I can see he was hurt and annoyed. “She said she was meeting with a client.”

I know that phrase. I have heard it many times before. I know what he is feeling. I know what it's like to be stood up, left in the gutters, left wondering. Natalie really fucked me over the more I thought about it. And now Bridgette is doing it to him.

“I hung up on her. I sat at the dinner table waiting. Hoping. Hell, praying she would just walk through those doors. A few hours later is when I called you.”

“Natalie did the same. I was so blinded by love I never really gave it a second thought. I just let her continue doing what she did… because I thought she loved me. But, I am going to give you advice I wish I would have given myself all those years ago.”

He glances at me

“Sit down and talk to her. Lay out your feelings, doubts, and frustrations. Tell her you are upset. You have been patient with her as she works but she also needs to remember to breathe and be a partner. Being in a relationship isn't 50 50 work. It's some days 80 and 20. You pick up the others' slack because you love them and some days they can't give the full 50. But they do it for you as well. Confront the problem. Don’t do what I did. I allowed her to walk all over me. I wish I would have had the balls to stand up and say ‘You are being an ungrateful bitch.’ But I was so blind. Blind with love I did not want to say the wrong thing and lose her. But I ended up not saying anything, and lost her anyway."

I take a deep breath and smile, “Love isn't always fair, or fun, or warm feelings. It's angry, jealousy, and confusion as well. It's ok to feel those things. We are human, and we have the ability to communicate our insecurities. She needs to understand you have needs too. Not a come home, watch a movie, have sex, then a ‘See you in a month’ type of love. It's more than that. Talk to her. I mean you're unhappy right now. What’s the worst she can do? Leave? Probably already feels like she is gone anyways.”

"Yea, it does." He whispers.

I glance out of the corner of my eye. “No matter what happens, I got you babe.”

“Zai, I am so glad I called you.” I look over and give him a reassuring smile.

I placed my hand on his leg. “You will figure this out Ziah. You're not alone.” He placed his hand in mine and gave it a squeeze.

“Neither are you. Not any more.”

We continue talking, but I hope I am not the only one to realized our hands were still intertwined for the rest of the drive.

…………

We pull up to my old house, and stop at the end of the driveway. My grip goes tighter on his hand when I notice the for sale and sold sign in the yard.

He gives my hand a squeeze then lets go. I slowly get out of the car and make my way to the door. I knock and wait.

“Cute house.” Ziah said looking around the porch.

I slightly smile. Then the door opens and there is a warmth wrapped around my waist as I am pulled into a hug.

“Zaire! Oh my, I have missed you.” I wrap my mom up tightly and lean my head into her shoulder. She is so short, but still makes me feel safe.

“Ma, I'm glad to be home.” I release her and feel my hand grazes Ziah. I turn and smile, “I'm sorry. Ma, this is Joziah, my partner.”

My mother smiles widely and pulls him in for a hug. “Oh my, you are so handsome! Come in, come in, make yourself at home.”

We shuffle in and find ourselves in a mix with boxes, bubble wrap, and shit everywhere.

“Shit Ma, how much have you actually gotten done?” I smirk at her.

“Almost all of it. Just your stuff and the furniture is left.” She gives me an evil grin.

“So you made me drive hours, just to pack a few things and move like 5 pieces of furniture?” I laugh as I walk over to hug her again.

“I just missed you.” she hugs me back. “Besides, I am cooking a good meal and making my chocolate cake.”

I look at Ziah and grin. He bust out into laughter.

“Okay ma, we are going to finish up my room.” I grab Joziah's wrist and drag him down the hall. I pause in front of my door and sigh. I feel a hand squeeze mine with reassurance and I open the door.

It looks the same. Football trophies, soccer trophies, more trophies. Blue bed sheets on my full size bed, posters, few nick knacks. I look around and realize… I never had any other hobbies besides sports and Natalie.

“Was this you?” I hear Ziah snicker as I turn to see him holding a photo. I walk over and of course it's one of me in high school playing soccer. I was covered in mud, bruises, and blood.

“Yep, junior year. Championship game.” I smile.

“Let me guess you won?” he said, handing the photo to me.

“Nope. Lost terribly. Those kids were on steroids. Their right forward was like eight feet tall... and just a sophomore.” He laughs loudly as I pack it away with the rest of the photos. I didn't have any of Natalie, thankfully I took all of them with me when we moved to New York and then got rid of them after she left. 

"This is my dad." I hand him a photo of my dad and I when I was 16. It was after my baseball match. I was in my catcher's gear and smiling ear to ear laughing as my dad tried to put my mask on. "He was always so supportive with me playing sports. Missed maybe 3 games my entire life. Two for a meeting out of town, the second was mom and his anniversary. The only year a game fell on it. It was important so I told them to go out."

"You both look alike. A lot alike. Both have grey eyes… except yours have lightened."

I frown, "Yea. For some reason they only lighten. My dad's didn't. But remember, my eyesight is really bad. I have to wear glasses."

He rubs his chin. "Could that be related?"

I shrug.

“So what were you like as a kid?” Joziah asks as we pack things up.

“Eh, sports guy. Didn't really have a hobby besides that.” I shrugged and packed away the soccer cleats I found at the back of the closet.

“Why not?”

“Well, Natalie always loved watching me play sports. It made her happy. I guess I got caught up in her happiness to think of mine.”

"Did you at least enjoy them?"

I smile," I did. I was pretty good too. Was offered to play in college for Baseball and Soccer."

"Why didn't you?"

I turn and make him a face. Really have to ask?

"Oh. Natalie?"

"Mhm. Remember when I told you she didn't like that I wanted to go into the Air Force? Well, I told her about the scholarship and offers I had and she freaked because I would have gone to Washington State and she would have been in New York. She said 'long distances don't last. If you love me, you would come with me.' Of course I did, and at the same time I wanted to go to the police academy. It would have been nice to play in college though. " I chuckle.

"Well, I guess we will have to find you a new hobby!”

“Dude, I bike now.”

He face palms, “Not what I was meaning. I mean, like… never mind. I guess that will work.”

“What about you? Any hobbies in high school?” I walk over to my desk.

“Eh, I was in ROTC and did track and field. Parents rarely came to any meets. Plus once my dad left we really couldn’t afford it. So I quiet and got a job or two to help my mother.”

“Sorry, it must be hard listening to me talk about my family…”

“Nah. It gives me hope that not every marriage ends the same.”

We pack in silence until came across my old Forensic science book. I smile as I open it. My notes and handwriting over the pages have faded and wrinkled.

“Why become a cop?” Joziah asks as he climbs onto the bed. He lays against the head board with his hands behind his head.

I walk over to him and sit beside his legs, “I am not sure honestly. I always loved watching COPS and anything detective with my dad. I guess I wanted to save the world.” I chuckle, tracing the book in my hands.

"What about you? Always wanted to be in the military and be a cop?"

He shrugs, "Well, Military was to help my mom. Where she didn't have to take care of me. I signed up at 18, and left. I love her but I knew it was hard raising me by herself. Working 2 or more jobs. So I took it upon myself to get a job and not bother her anymore. I took care of myself so she did not work so hard. "

I shake my head, "That's what a parent does though. Take care of their children. Even during hardships."

"Yea, but we only had each other to rely on. No one else. So I had to do my part. Thankfully, she invested and developed a new skin care and make up that took off and the BAM! Now, she never really has to worry about money."

I nod, "Well, I admire you for stepping up and for her realizing her passion. But why become a cop?"

He stiffens, "Uh. Still a touchy subject."

I give him a smile.

“Well, I'm glad you became a cop.''

He looks at me and smiles.

“Guys, dinner is ready!” my mother called.

We broke our gaze and walked down the stairs. The smell of something delicious fills my nose and makes my mouth water.