Ellie’s POV

Adjusting to life with a newborn has been interesting to say the least. There’s times when I’m on cloud nine and loving life as a new parent, but then there’s times where I’m overwhelmed and constantly doubting myself. You either hear that parenthood is a blessing or you hear that it’s a nightmare, but no one ever warns you about the constant doubt. And despite how hands on C.J is, it’s really easy to feel alone or like you’re doing more work sometimes. It’s exhausting to take care of something that only eats, poops, and cries for all hours of the day. You learn to live on their time and their schedule rather than your own which has been one of the biggest challenges that I’m facing.

I’m very lucky that I’m on summer break from school, and on top of that C.J is on paternity leave for the most part. The company tries really hard to do his job temporarily, but there are certain things that he just needs to be there for and I totally understand. It’s only been a month and I can easily see why a child is the real test of a couple’s marriage and ability to work as a team. It’s not just the two of us anymore, and August can’t speak up and say how he feels so we have to work together to try and figure out how to raise him up without screwing him up too bad. That is terrifying.

I didn’t go into labor thinking that parenting was going to be a breeze, but you can’t prepare yourself for it no matter how hard you try. There’s these little things that no amount of babysitting will prepare you for.

Another thing that is a little frustrating is that C.J seems completely fine, which i know that he’s not but he just always seems put together. Anytime that I feel burnt out he is so ready to pick me up and take care of the baby, and quite frankly it makes me feel like a crappy mate that I haven’t been doing the same.

Parenting sucks.

But it’s all worth it when I get to see August’s little gummy smile, and when he smiles at the mere sight at me after screaming bloody murder. I love it when he giggles at C.J making funny faces at him, I love when he grasps onto my finger like it’s the only thing that will keep him alive. I love how cute he is when he yawns and stretches after just waking up. I love holding him tight to me, and cuddling him as much as possible. I love being a parent, especially being a parent with C.J.

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“Hey little guy. How are you?” C.J was currently glaring at Walker because our son absolutely loves him, and always smiles and giggles whenever Walker is around him.

I just rolled my eyes fondly when C.J started muttering stuff about how his own son betrayed him, and loves another Alpha more than him. I walked over to him, and snuggled into his side. He looked super cute with a little pout on his face.

“Poor baby. You do know that Auggie loves his daddy right?” C.J kissed my head softly before tightening his hold on me so I was all snuggled up and comfy in his big arms. Despite having a newborn, C.J has still managed to fit exercise into his schedule, and I definitely appreciated it. I’ll be the first to admit that I love an Alpha with big muscles.

“Yeah I know, but I just thought that he had better taste than Walker. I mean have you seen Walker?” Walker responded with a miffed hmph.

“Well you’re not all that either Delaney” I tried not to burst into laughter at the sassy face Walker was sporting.

“Are we still going out later today?” Walker and I had plans to hang out with the gang for lunch and maybe to the mall. I don’t really know. Luke said that he wanted to go to this one store because they were having a sale and it was his boyfriend’s birthday in a couple of days so he wanted to get him something.

“Yeah I think so. We are supposed to meet them in thirty minutes. So you might want to start getting ready” I agreed with him, and went upstairs to change. C.J wasn’t able to come with us because today was one of the days that he had to go into work. I was excited to bring August with us. He’s only been out a couple of times, and it wasn’t for that long. I handed Walker the stroller, and he put it in the car while I got the baby bag and August ready to go. Walker was strapping in the bottom part of the car seat into one of the backseats while I packed August into the actual seat. C.J kissed me and August goodbye, and then we were off.

I was actually really hungry, and I was even more excited when I saw that we were eating at Gary’s Diner. It was this little diner that served practically everything, and it all tasted like heaven. We decided not to take in the stroller, and just perched the carseat in one of the diner highchairs.

“Oh my gosh. He is so cute!” Ryan squealed when he saw August with his hand in his mouth.

“Yes he is. You better not show him to my mate Ellie. We do not need babies any time soon” Ross warned me, but I think that Ross’ children would be so cute

“Do you want to hold him?” I didn’t even have to wait for an answer when I saw Ryan’s whole body perk up.

I unstrapped August from the seat, and handed him over to Ryan. August of course thought that it was only kind to slap Ryan in the face with the same hand that was in his mouth. A group of girls walked by, and they couldn’t stop swooning at Ryan.

“Ellie I think I’m going to need to borrow your baby a lot more if all the ladies react like that” Ryan gave me his usual boyish smirk while the other boys just scoffed at him.

“Isn’t it sad that he’s so ugly that he needs a cute baby to land him a girl?” Ross commented and Ryan just glared at him.

I was a little worried that we weren’t going to be able to hang out as much, because the majority of these guys just graduated and I have a baby to take care of now so it was unlikely that we would have as much time. I was pleasantly surprised to see that they were all super eager to keep in touch and make hanging out a priority.

I put August who had fallen asleep in Ryan’s arms back into his carseat when the food came, and prayed that he would sleep through the rest of the meal because I knew when he woke up he would want to eat. The food was delicious like usual, and we all practically devoured it. We then were going to the mall, and I was excited to be up and moving again.

August was still sleeping when we got to the mall, so we put him in the stroller, and off we went. Luke’s boyfriend, Caden, loves candles so we were headed off to bath and bodyworks. That store either smelled really good, or made me so nauseous that I felt like throwing up. I feel like August will hate it in there so Ross offered to stay with me outside, considering the smells also get to his sensitive sense of smell too. We sat down on one of the couches in this little seating area in front of all of the stores. Of course a group of loud kids ran by which then led to August startling awake and crying. I quickly pulled him out of his carseat, and tried to quell him. I knew that he was hungry judging by the way he kept rubbing his face into my breasts looking for milk, so I pulled out this coverup for breastfeeding in public from the diaper bag. I unhooked my bra and August latched on and started sucking straight away. August sure does love to eat, and he can do a lot of it. Sometimes I feel like he loves my boobs more than he actually loves me. Ross sat next to us growling and glaring at anyone who even glanced in my direction. It was really sweet. Alphas are often given a really bad rep for some understandable reasons, but an Alpha by instinct is protective down to the core and it really helps make omegas feel more comfortable. This is my first time ever feeding in public, and even though I’m covered and it’s a natural thing I probably would have been uncomfortable or insecure if Ross wasn’t giving me his blatant support.

I burped August after he was done eating, and luckily he didn’t spit up. August always spits up on C.J, but it’s only doing me a favour when it makes him have to take off his shirt. What can I say? The view is sublime. The boys finally came out of that store, and they were all complaining about how long it took for Luke to pick a candle out of two, only to buy both of them in the end. Ross and I just laughed, but I knew we were both grateful to have been outside of the store.

We spent the rest of the day just walking around, and having fun. Ryan met lots of girls who just couldn’t get over an Alpha taking care of a little baby. Hopefully his ways don’t rub off on my little August. I even got August and C.J a matching outfit that I bet would make me melt into a puddle due to the sheer cuteness. I didn’t really get myself anything because to be completely honest I just don’t feel comfortable in my body yet. Also I’m sure that C.J wouldn’t be too happy to see me bring home even more clothes. He always teases me even though I know that he loves all the outfits I pick. Also he can’t say anything because that man has like a thousand suits and ties. He does look really good in suits though.

After the mall we headed over to Ryan and Ross’ apartment to play video games. I’ll be honest I absolutely suck at call of duty or any type of combat game, but I will demolish anyone in Mario Kart. August was taking another nap in Ryan’s bedroom, and I was so thankful that the boys were at least attempting to be quiet. I would say that since becoming friends with them I have gotten a lot better at video games, because they certainly don’t go easy on me at all.

We ordered pizza, and just had an absolute ball before Walker finally took us home where I recounted the day with C.J who seemed more interested in the feel of my lips than what was coming out of them. He sure is lucky that I love him.