"Look what we've got here," Kilo said as I sat down for lunch. I ignore Kilo whenever I can, because she gets annoying, onnoxious, and rude very quickly. "It's the Amazing Psycho Child..." She paused and drumrolled on her lap. "Of the Gays!"

The entire cafeteria cheered. Mockingly, yes, but it was a cheer.

"Please, Psycho Child, tell us your secrets! How are you in ninth grade, but you're sooooooo dumb?" Kilo is using this super stupid buskers voice and i despise it. 

When I don't answer, Kilo leans down and whispers, "Say sonething, son of a biscuit, or I'ma shoot your freaking imaginary girlfriend in the head." She didn't actually say 'biscuit' or 'freaking', but I'm trying to keep this PG-ish.

"Because everyone else in ninth grade is a neanderthal who doesn't know how to dispose of his boogers correctly, so he eats them," I say, loud enough for the entire cafeteria to hear.

Gasps fall over the turned heads. So, with their attention, I stand on the table and say, "Neanderthals who ate homophobic and can go suck an eggplant!"