I wish that I could go back in time - to the end of spring, or maybe the start of summer - and tell myself about this. Hey, Jamie, guess what? Before the year is over, you’ll be sitting outside, in the dark, in the rain, watching Ms. Callahan smoke a cigarette, on the verge of having a serious conversation with her about your relationship with Aiden.

I could seriously laugh just imagining my facial expression, but that’s impossible right now, because I’m completely frozen, unable to move or say anything. I definitely understand why Aiden freaked out when my dad tried to have this talk with him. Why he wished he had some time to think about what to say.

Ms. Callahan closes her eyes and tips her head back, taking a long breath of cold night air, apparently unbothered by the raindrops fluttering down onto us.

“So,” she says. “Aiden tells me that he’s let you in on the Callahan family’s longest-running secret.”

Any hope that I’d surprise myself by staying calm and collected is dashed immediately. I kick into panic mode right away, scrambling to defend Aiden.

“He didn’t mean to tell me! It wasn’t his fault. There was a whole thing. He was frantic, he thought that someone was going to die if he didn’t get help, and he was right about that, so-”

I break off as Ms. Callahan turns to look at me.

“You don’t think it means anything? That he went to you when he felt like that?”

“I don’t - I’m not-”

“James. Imagine that you’re scared, really scared. All the alarms are going off, the ship is sinking, and you feel like the world is crashing down around you. Who do you run to?”

I don’t even have to think about it.

“Aiden.”

Ms. Callahan turns her gaze to the rain-slick trees, which are still half-visible through the darkness.

“Yes, that’s what I thought. And your answer doesn’t even really have to do with his powers, does it?”

Not at all, now that I think about it.

“No, it - it doesn’t.”

She nods thoughtfully.

“Clearly he feels the same way about you. Even if he was panicking, the fact that he came to you in that moment… it means that he was going to tell you the truth at some point. Maybe not then, but eventually, and... somewhere, deep down, he must have known that already.”

I fold my elbows onto my knees, not sure what to say. The muffled tapping of the rain against the porch is the only sound for a minute or two. Ms. Callahan takes a drag of her cigarette, the orange glow briefly lighting up her face.

“Aiden told me what he has and hasn’t spoken to you about. It’s up to him, whether or not to fill in the gaps in your knowledge. But… I want to talk to you about his mother. My sister.”

I wasn’t exactly sure where this conversation was headed before, but I definitely have no idea now.

“Is Aiden okay with that?” I hear myself ask.

“I’m not going to go over everything. Just what I think you need to know.” Ms. Callahan looks up at the cloudy starscape overhead, her long silver hair spilling over her shoulders. “Leigh was a complicated person. Is. I shouldn’t speak about her like she’s dead. It’s only that she’s been gone for so long, and she isn't coming back.”

“Aiden told me-” I hesitate, picking at the sleeve of my flannel. “He said that it kind of broke her, all the terrible things she had to see, the people she lost.”

“It took a heavy toll on her, yes. But I wouldn’t say that’s what pushed her over the edge. No, Aiden’s father is responsible for that.”

Aiden’s father. Probably the only person I know less about than his mother.

Ms. Callahan’s eyes cloud with distant memories. She stares upwards like she can see it all playing out above us.

“Leigh was wild about him from the moment they met, and everything did seem perfect at first. She told him the truth about what she was. They got married, and Leigh got pregnant. It all happened so fast.” Ms. Callahan sighs deeply, brushing a few raindrops from her face. “I had my reservations about him from the beginning. I didn’t like how impatient he was when Leigh was grieving someone she failed to save. He seemed to think that because she didn’t know them, it was nothing worth crying over. He hated dealing with it, said it was like attending funeral after funeral.”

I know that I'm frowning. I already don’t like where this is going.

“I tried to talk to Leigh about it, but... we never got along, and she never listened to me. I’m twelve years older than her, and she liked to call me a know-it-all. She also liked to call me jealous, because I wasn’t the one that the Guardian Tree chose, and… that was a fair criticism. I felt like it should have been me. I know that isn’t how it works, and I knew it then. But Leigh got to spend so much time with our father while he was teaching her how to use her power. I’m not even sure it was the power that I was jealous of, truth be told.”

I swallow hard, looking at Ms. Callahan with fresh eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

She flaps a hand at me.

“Don’t be sorry. That’s hardly the point. I’m not jealous of Leigh anymore. I’m saying that I was, back then. She could have children, and I couldn’t. She had power and magic, and I didn’t. But… after they got married, and Aiden’s father understood the extent of Leigh’s powers, everything started to change. It was a very slow, very gradual thing. A favor, now and then. A little magic to get him out of a difficult scrape, or fix a bad mistake. Leigh was happy to help him. She loved him so much, and Aiden had just been born, and they were this perfect little family. But eventually, he started asking for favors that weren’t strictly necessary. Things he could have done without the help of magic.”

My stomach is starting to feel queasy. “That… doesn’t sound like a good sign.”

“I didn’t think so, either. I could tell that it bothered Leigh, even though she never said anything about it. The favors got bigger and bigger, and he started expecting them, demanding them. Getting angry when she tried to say no. Accusing her of not supporting the family, or not loving him enough, or not loving Aiden enough to protect his father.” Ms. Callahan scowls into the distance, flicks her cigarette with some extra force. “A horrible thing to say. Every time that Leigh promised me it was the last time, somehow he’d talk her into doing just one more. That’s not the way the Guardian Tree’s power is supposed to be used. It started taking a physical toll on Leigh, on top of the emotional one, and she finally put her foot down.”

“Good,” I mutter, and Ms. Callahan bobs her head in agreement.

“Yes, but… the moment he fully grasped that he couldn’t get anything out of her anymore, he left. Took off, in the middle of the night. He didn’t leave so much as a voicemail for Leigh or for Aiden. He was just gone. After that, Leigh…” Ms. Callahan presses her lips into a thin line, taking a moment to gather herself. “She changed.”

I nibble my lip, trying to bite back my questions, but lose the battle instantly. “Changed how?”

“She started talking about how magic corrupts even the best among us. In her mind, magic brought out the greed and cruelty in everyone, which meant that no one, even people with the best intentions, could ever be trusted. And she very much drilled this belief into Aiden, as soon as he was old enough to understand.”

I can only stare at Ms. Callahan, wait for her to continue.

“It’s not that Leigh wanted him to be alone forever. But she never wanted him to trust anyone, get hurt and blindsided the way that she did. She would tell him… No matter how perfect you think the person is, once they know what you are, they’ll end up only pretending to love you... and then, once they’ve exploited and manipulated you, they’ll leave you, just as soon as you’re all used up.”

Ms. Callahan taps a long column of ash off of her cigarette, then discovers that it’s gone out. She picks up the lighter from the porch step, spinning it absently between her fingers.

“I’ve tried everything I can think of to knock this idea out of Aiden’s head, ever since Leigh left him with me. I was starting to think he would never get past it. But here we are, hmm, James?” Her eyes flick over to me, the side of her mouth quirking up. “He told you. He willingly told you the most closely-guarded secret he has.” Ms. Callahan's face splits into a wide grin. She lights the cigarette again and leans back on her palm. “Today is a good day.”

It takes me a minute to say anything. I’m more than a little overwhelmed.

“I - thought you might be angry,” I finally manage.

“Angry? I’ve spent years trying to convince Aiden that there had to be someone out there he could trust with his heart. I thought maybe I was doing it wrong, telling him the wrong things, because I could never get him to listen. But I’m realizing now… the problem was that he had to learn it from someone else.” She gives me a meaningful look, then takes the cigarette from her mouth and stubs it out on the drenched porch steps. “So you can understand why a celebration cig was in order.”

“Ms. Callahan...”

“Why don’t you call me Aunt Sarah, sweetie?” She reaches over to sweep a strand of damp hair out of my face.

“Oh. Okay.”

“Look, you and Aiden only met in high school, but I’ve known you since you were just a little bundle. Your mother and I were on the parish council together before you could even walk. I know you pretty well, by now. Well enough to say that I trust you with Aiden.”

I don’t even know what the fuck is going on inside of my chest, right now.

“Thank you,” I whisper, and she nods.

“But. If there ever comes a day when you find yourself going to Aiden for magical help when you don’t really, really need it, I want you to stop and think about this moment. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He’ll give you anything you want. It’s on you to make sure that he doesn’t. After what he’s been through, how far he’s come… don’t you do anything to plant a seed of doubt in his heart about your motivations for being with him.”

I nod slowly, thinking hard about everything she said. “I understand.”

Aunt Sarah pins me in place with her blue gaze, suddenly intense and serious.

“Promise me.”

Nervous though it makes me, I force myself to look her right in the eyes.

“I promise.”

She looks back at me for a long moment, then smiles again.

“Good.” She reaches over and pulls me down, puts a kiss on the top of my head. “I’m very happy that it’s you, James. Don’t make me regret it.”

~~~~

I help Aunt Sarah back into the kitchen, then slowly make my way up the stairs to Aiden’s old bedroom. He's leaning against the wall by the open window, kneading his palm, staring out at the moonlit treetops. He whips around when I step through the door, then stands there looking at me, blue eyes round and anxious.

“Hey,” he says. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know she was going to want to talk to you alone, and I couldn’t make her change her mind. I sent you a warning text, but I guess you probably didn’t see it in time - are you-?”

He fades off as I cross the room to him. Holds still as I pull him into a tight hug, tucking my head under his chin. Eventually he closes his arms around me, leaning his cheek against the top of my head.

I’m hyper-aware of his warmth, the press of his body, the whiff of vetiver. His huge, gentle hands on my back. A tangle of feelings and sensations that all come together to collectively mean Aiden.

“What did she say?” His voice is so quiet that I almost don’t hear him.

I tip my head back and press my nose against his, but I’m having trouble speaking. Need to find another way. I gather his fingers into mine, and our connection opens of its own accord. We both blink in surprise; that’s never happened before.

Aiden’s sparkling warmth melts through my fingertips, drifting up through my veins, taking me over.

Hi, he says, without opening his mouth.

Hi, I answer, closing my eyes. Okay if we talk in here? My vocal cords aren’t working, apparently.

Yes. Can you just tell me that you’re okay? Your face, right now…

I’m okay.

You’re not about to make a run for it?

I hug him tightly, but this time not with my arms. I use my heartbeat, my pulse, and I can tell that he feels it.

No. I’m not running anywhere. Since when can we talk like this, by the way?

I don’t know, he says. You’re always showing me new things.

You can turn that one around.

I hear, taste, feel, and breathe the soft laugh he lets out, even though the room remains perfectly silent.

Come on, what did she say to you?

She said she has swim aerobics tomorrow.

Dear God, Jamie. You’re insufferable, you know that? You dumb fucking-

I like you so much, Aiden.

A long pause before he answers. I… like you, too.

Right. But only a little, though. Sometimes.

Yeah, exactly. Like, you’re okay.

That’s - wow. Thank you so much for that. I’m floored, frankly. Overwhelmed.

This time we both laugh. I nuzzle my real-life nose against Aiden’s, then feel through our connection the way it kicks up his heartbeat.

What did she say when you told her about us? I ask.

She knew about that part already, just like I thought. That’s what I get for literally just asking her whether or not you still lived in Ketterbridge. I guess that was all the intel she needed.

Women just know shit, I tell him.

Yes, I’m aware of that. I work for Gabby.

Seems like an unfair advantage for them to have.

Oh, please go tell literally any girl we know about the unfair advantages that women have over men. I’d absolutely love to see that conversation play out.

Yeah, no, I’m good. Don’t particularly feel like dying today.

At least Kasey would have another ghost friend. I’d be very sad, though.

I gently break our connection. Aiden draws in a soft inhale, his eyes fluttering open. He peers into my face and touches his thumb to my cheek, his fingers curling around my jaw.

“Are we okay?”

“Yes.” I lean up and lock my arms around his neck. “We’re way better than okay.”

Words aren’t doing it tonight, so I decide to communicate the rest with a slow, intimate kiss, working my fingers through his chestnut hair. I have to stop when his smile gets too big and makes it impossible to continue, but that’s alright. I think that means he knows what I’m trying to say.

“Feels so weird to do this with you in this room,” he murmurs.

“Should I stop?” I ask, pulling back.

“No. I didn’t mean bad-weird. On the contrary.”

Aiden spreads a hand on my chest and guides me backwards until the bed hits the back of my knees. I hop up onto the mattress and stretch out, expecting him to do the same, but doesn’t. Only stands there looking at me, his smile half pinned between his teeth.

“I used to imagine you in this bed all the time,” he murmurs. “Never thought I’d actually get to see what it would look like, though.”

“Oh.” I sit up, my cheeks turning hot enough to dry any remaining rain on my face. “Um. Kind of wish I wasn’t like, a post-rain disaster, right now. Knowing that.”

Aiden sits down and slides his arms around me, pulling me onto his lap.

"No need to worry about that."

"No?"

“Nope." He buries his fingers in my hair, then lets out another quiet laugh. "Believe me, Keane. I wouldn't change a thing.”