I was nervous. Yasmin was my best friend her opinion mattered the most for me. But she took her time as if she would enjoy seeing me in pain. Well ok she probably did enjoy herself seeing as she chewed her popcorn so slow that I could have read all seven Harry Totter books twice! Damn it. How can time be so slow if you’re waiting for something and be so fast if you need more of it.

After her fifth hand full of popcorn Yasmin finally decided to end my suffering by answering my question:

„He is a good boy Kai. I mean ok maybe he is not because everyone could be an asshole but from what you told me, he seemed like a good guy. I think he’s worth it, Kai.“

„Worth what?“ I shuddered.

„Worth your angst Kai!“ She cleared up her statement. „Boy. He seems like a cutie pie. You have to start with someone, why not him? Seriously if you just say no to everyone out of fear you’ll end up alone. If you’re afraid now you’ll be that in the future too. There is nothing wrong with changing your mind or struggling with decisions, just be honest with yourself Kai!“

Her words were true. Too true to be honest. She said exactly what was captured in under the surface of my brain constantly trying to break trough, in order to hear my own thoughts. Yasmin knows me. She knows not only what I like, she also knows my worst fears, my anxiety and my nightmares. It felt like she was a good doctor, pressing exactly were it hurts. So short and so precise.

I didn’t answer.

Because there was nothing left to say. So we stayed quiet lingering in our pose with crossed legs in my bed in the middle a bowl of popcorn staring into each others eyes. Through our eyes we were connected as if we would dive deep into the others mind feeling their heart beating and their chest rising with every breath.

It suddenly felt surreal as if we were in a dream and I would wake up soon. It felt like nothing of this ever happened even though I knew, it happened. We just spoke these sentences that were so little compared to a life time, but were the most meaningful sentences I’ve ever heard.

Silence. Again that was all there was. As I already said, but I can’t say it often enough: Don’t underestimate silence. Silence can say so much more than any words could. Like it did right that moment. It felt like an eternity and one second at the same time. Like a dream, or a memory from a long time ago. A time were nothing was wrong and nothing was right. A time were we just existed. But it wasn’t a memory of a time that never was. And it wasn’t a dream. It was reality.

I am sure Yasmin felt it too. She must have felt it.

So we kept the silence. We kept our eyes looked and our words printed in our brains. So that we would never forget. That we would never forget how much we mean to each other.

It was way past midnight as a crash caused us to blink and come back to reality. We both winced at the sudden sound that made us come back to our lives in a society full of pain and pleasure.

Yasmin said with cracking voice due to our long silence: „What happend?“

I didn't know if she talked about the crash or that dream-like-moment we shared a few seconds ago. „I don't know.“ Was my answer, with cracking voice as well, to both possibilities.

She stood up right after that to go to the window, so I assume she was asking about the crash.

„Some drunkhead crashed against a latern!“ Yasmin shouted to me, half amused half annoyed by the action of that drunken men.