I open my eyes and start moving away from the house, wandering through the familiar woods.

I walk for a while, never stopping, keeping a steady yet quick pace. I hop over the occasional root or two, maybe climbing over a fallen tree, but for the most part the path I’m taking today is all worn down from previous journeys, most of the woods around here are. I come out here every night, usually to look for some new place to go at times like these. A few times I’ve even fallen asleep out here, being comforted by the solitude. 

Today I’m going to one of my favorite places, and I know the path by heart.

After a little bit the sun starts to set over the horizon to my left, only the colors viewable from where I stand. The warm colors of red, orange, and pick, scattering all over the forest floor, painting the leaves in a fiery masterpiece. The colors continue to bleed and seep into the sky, gradually getting darker and darker until they finally fade into a dark purple all the way on my right. The Luminous itself is hidden behind the trees, causing bright beams of light to filter through the leaves.

A sound other than the rustling of leaves breaks its way into my conscience slowly, blending in well with everything else. The rushing of water, flowing from one water source to another, both of which are so far away, no one can tell me where exactly they are.

I sigh, glad I’ve reached the river at such a beautiful moment. I walk over and sit on a rock positioned right across from the river, and right above the river is a clearing, perfect for viewing the sunset.

Fish swim through the river sometimes, although they stopped coming for a little bit during the winter. They should start coming back soon. I could kill them, pick a few plants and seasonings around here and make myself a meal, but their company is one I find myself unbothered by. Sometimes I would even sit right on the river bed, unlacing my boots to let my feet rest in the water, and I would just watch the fish traveling from one unknown point to another. It’s both beautiful and sad in a way. They have something I don’t have, something I don’t fully believe in. Hope. They hope there’s a point to their endless swimming. They hope they’ll be able to get somewhere that’ll be better for both them and their children.

I take a deep breath to clear my head of everything, letting my body finally settle down.

 I’ve walked a good ten miles, and even with the blood pumping fast through my body I can tell there’s a chill to the air that I’m trying very hard not to take as a bad omen for thinking about what I came here to. However, the cold and I have become one long ago, I’ve learned to savor it now, praise it even. If anything, maybe I should be counting this as a good omen.

I take another breath, realizing I’ve grown distracted again, my mind’s way of trying to escape the inevitable. I start thinking back on everything though, being so far from where I was makes everything that happened seem like such a long time ago.