Apparently, Beau wanted to be at the amusement park with those his own age too because, there he was, interacting with Johnny while in line for a ride when evening came around.

When we met up with our parents for lunch earlier, it was hella awkward and painful for my eardrums. Mom discovered the truth. Although the volleyball attack was an accident, she gave a lecture about how competition is great and all, but keep your head on straight, or something along those lines. I wasn’t listening all that much. Contrary to popular belief, I did continue to feel like shit, especially when spotting the light bruising around Beau’s nose.

We didn’t associate the rest of the afternoon. Hell, he didn’t even say hi when meandering towards us at the front gates of the park at six o’clock that night. The only reason he knew where we were going, and what time, was because he overheard me talking at lunch, but I didn’t even get an acknowledgement of my existence? Ok, cool, whatever.

He was steering clear of me, speaking mostly with Johnny as we went from ride to ride and stall to stall. Not that I cared. Avi was shit at the games so watching his failures turn into cries of anguish over lost money was hilarious. Tara was pretty shy, hiding mostly behind Jill, but when she did get excited she’d forget what quiet meant and shout or squeal. Jill was about as rowdy as me so while the others needed a break from the rides, we kept on truckin’.

Thinking back, there was nothing exceedingly special about that evening. No signs that our lives would change from a few actions. I was laughing with new acquaintances that, if we had the time to get to know each other better, may have been friends one day.

And Beau? He was suddenly missing. So was Johnny.

“Hey, where’d Beau and Johnny go?” I asked upon discovering that the two quiet ones of the group had somehow vanished.

“Huh?” Avi spun around in search of our missing companions.

“They probably got tired of us and went off on their own,” said Jill between bites of her cotton candy. Tara was pulling a few pieces of the fluff off as well. “Johnny just broke up with his boyfriend before the trip so he has disappeared on us a few times when he needed the space. Maybe Beau followed him somewhere to relax for a bit.”

“Or make out.” Avi sniggered.

Tara’s shoulders slumped forward resulting in Avi poking her childishly in the ribs a few times. She didn’t so much as flinch, only shoved another handful of sweet rejection fluff in her mouth.

“They’ll probably pop back up later, come on!” Jill grabbed my arm. “Let’s ride the ferris wheel!”

With no time to argue, I was tugged along by the group that weren’t nearly as shocked by the idea of Beau sneaking off with Johnny as I was.

Although I laughed and smiled on the ferris wheel and through the crowded pier, my thoughts did not mirror such happiness. In a sense, I almost felt guilty for denying it; Beau didn’t go off with Johnny. They weren’t alone together. They weren’t doing anything. There was no need to worry because it was Beau, as if that somehow proved anything.

Besides, even if they were together...it wasn’t any of my business. What he did was none of my concern. Who he decided to do anything with wasn’t any of my business, nor was I saddened by that fact. I didn’t care.

More like I didn’t want to care.

When the evening came to an end, Beau and Johnny were nowhere to be found. Neither were answering their phones either. Jill, Avi, Tara, and I separated around eleven since they were leaving early in the morning to return home. I overheard Avi betting with Tara on whether or not Johnny would even show up until morning.

My chest tightened. I pretended not to notice, just like I pretended I didn’t go to the dark beach to mope.

I kicked a twig into the ocean along with a spray of sand. Blisters had formed on the sides of my feet. I carried my sandals while making a mental note to wear sneakers on the pier tomorrow, if I went. That note was torn to shreds when there was sudden movement beneath the pier. There were two figures, neither of which noticed or cared about me trudging along in the evening waves.

The figures stepped out from the shadows. I recognized both immediately. Johnny and Beau walked hand in hand, each step slow, taking all the time in the world to enjoy the end of an evening. Their shirts clung to their damp skin. Their voices were soft, bits and pieces of a quiet conversation mixed in with crashing waves.

Johnny laughed. Beau smiled, nothing like the ones he showed at school or forced when spending time with me. No, the smile for Johnny was authentic; a slight wrinkle in his nose, showing the top row of his teeth and a single, elusive dimple on his right cheek.

As if I was a spy about to get caught on a dangerous mission, I rushed behind one of the beams of the pier to hide. My heart was hammering in my chest, toes squishing into the sands. I wasn’t sure what to do, make myself known so I wouldn’t be a creep listening into their conversation, or wait until they leave and pretend nothing ever happened later.

“Thanks for listening,” said Johnny.

“Wasn’t a problem,” Beau responded softly. “I know it’s tough when it feels like there’s no one to talk to.”

I was suddenly a little aware of what he possibly meant by that. The thought never crossed my mind, now it was the only thought on my mind.

I chanced taking a peek, shifting around a beam to peer through the dark. They were closer to the hotels, paying no mind to the pier or the idiot hiding beneath the shadowy structure. Their silhouettes were illuminated by the light of the fair above, but their faces were harder to distinguish with how they were standing.

I didn’t need to distinguish either of them though when Johnny spoke, “Feel free to get in contact with me if you ever want to talk, or if you’re ever in New Jersey for a bit. Maybe we’ll see each other around?”

“A guy can hope.”

Johnny chuckled then leaned in for a kiss.

I swung away fast, staring silently into the seemingly eternal ocean waves. The cool water splashed against my curled toes. My fingers ached from the pressure upon the wooden beam. There was another ache, a silent cry that was pushed to the back of my mind.

“Bye, Beau,” he whispered.

If Beau replied, I didn’t hear it. I had become one with the wooden beam. My full weight pressed against the damp structure, face scrunched up from the pressure. Asking myself what I witnessed was stupid, but I was asking.

What the hell had I just witnessed? A kiss on the beach, dumb ass.

But that kiss on the beach was between Beau and Johnny. Beau, that didn’t smile like that or laugh or flirt or kiss or was, arguably, human in any way. I was always so sure he was some sort of alien or demonic spirit. Perhaps he still was, because he was continuing to haunt me, only in another way.

So he had gone off with Johnny. They were alone together. They had done something. There was...no need to worry because it wasn’t any of my business. I repeated that over and over in hopes to quell the weight in my stomach. Take away the taste of disappointment on the tip of my tongue or stop the shortness of breath, but that didn’t happen. In fact, they got worse when I worked up the courage to leave.

I expected Beau to have left during my long inner turmoil. Instead, the moment I was in the soft light of the pier, a very wide-eyed boy caught me in a trembling green gaze.

Beau had sauntered into the water that washed up to his ankles rather than left. Then that water was gone when he didn’t say a word, only pivoted on the heels of his feet to stomp towards the hotel.

If I hadn’t seen what I did, I would have assumed he merely didn’t want to see me. That was probably why Beau did his best to act his usual self; be annoyed and avoid me. There was no way I was hiding that I saw though.

He heard my heavy steps and picked up the already brisk pace.

“Beau, wait up!” I called as if I had any idea what to say. I didn’t. I definitely didn’t, especially when I caught hold of his wrist.

For the first time, he was tense in a way that words couldn’t describe. Every muscle clenched with fear that didn’t show on his face or in his quiet tone.

“What?” he asked, throwing a glare over his shoulder.

What was a very good question, a question I hadn’t the answer to. When my silence lingered, he attempted to pull away, which only tightened my grip and urged the truth out in a rushed breath, “I, uh, I saw you and Johnny. I saw the kiss.”

That was as simple as it got and the issue with simple was that it led to misunderstandings.

Beau misunderstood.

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