Bill

I should have stuck with a wine, or something simple. Instead, I had followed Nathan’s lead and ordered a whiskey double, which was promptly followed by another. We hadn’t said much to each other since we arrived at the bar other than pleasantries, catching up on careers, and travel. When that well of feigned casual conversation had run dry, the silence bubbled up between us until Nathan broke it. He never could stand long silences.

“I’m glad you came with me tonight. I wasn’t sure if it was a mistake or not. I know we didn’t leave things on the best of terms.”

“Well, bygones and all that. I’m not one to hold a grudge.” Well, not much of one. I was certainly pissed for a while, despondent, and according to Shelby ‘cranky as fuck’, but I couldn’t blame him for leaving. Or for running scared from me after what I told him. Most humans would have, though he was sitting here now. It made me wonder if he’d had a change of heart.

“I know, and I hope that holds after I tell you what I need to say.”

“Well, don’t keep me waiting, what is it?” I’m sure it’s something about love and rekindled romance, or trying to understand. The fact that he missed me was written all over him. It was flattering. It was fuckable. I wasn’t above giving someone a bit of comfort even if it was for old time sake.

I was moving forward, or at least I thought so. Izabella was near an obsession at this point, but things were still fairly casual between us. No commitments or agreements. Only time spent together and awkward trust-building. I still wasn’t sure whether what she wanted with me was a personal or a professional relationship. We clearly did things for each other, but the lines were more blurred as of late. If I was honest with myself, I didn’t know what I wanted with her either.

“William, I need to be honest with you. I left because I was scared, which is particularly abhorrent behavior, and I understand things now, more so than before. Especially now that I’ve fallen.”

“Fallen? Fallen for what? I don’t understand your meaning, Nate.”

He moved his hand, and a deep red colored feather appeared in it. Two things surprised me. First, I hadn’t known Nathan could do any kind of magic whatsoever. He never read to me as anything other than human. The feather Nathan held was pure magic. I watched as he placed it on the table, and then I picked it up myself. It was a piece of the divine, of the conjured realm of heaven. It was an angel’s feather, but a corrupted one. Even in its corruption, it was a thing of beauty with a tinge of sorrow for what it represented in the loss of spirit and purity.

“Where the hell did you get this? It’s absolutely priceless. Do you know what you have here?”

Nathan laughed. His laugh always held notes of charm and tenor so smooth that you’d think you were bathing in some melodic resonance that meant to radiate calm. The only thing that marred it now was the heartfelt sadness that seemed to spread with it.

“It’s mine.”

“Of course it’s yours. You just pulled it out of thin air, which is impressive, by the way. How do you know magic? You never used any around me, and usually, I can spot magic users a mile away.”

“Bill.” Nathan’s tone sharpened as he cut me off. “William. I’m an angel. The feather is literally mine.”

I stared at the thing in my hand, and all of it suddenly clicked into place. I was awash in sudden guilt and sorrow—damn morals. I know what I am. Even in that, I don’t corrupt people on purpose. I’d never done that. Temptation was just that, temptation. You could ignore it. That was the divine choice. But the evidence of corruption in my hand was unmistakable, and it upset me more than I could fathom at the moment. So I said the only thing that made sense.

“Nate, fuck, man. I’m so sorry. I had no idea. Now I understand why you left. I mean, how could you stay if I did this to you?”

A strangled laugh came from Nathan’s throat as he wiped his hand across his eyes and finished another drink. He reached that same hand across the table and touched my face. It sent a familiar sensation through me that I had to admit I missed more than I wanted to, and then I felt guilty about wanting at the same time.

“You didn’t do this to me, love. I did it to myself.”

“How so?” I asked quietly.

“When you told me what you are, I panicked, instead of talking with you. I left. I left us. I broke with love. There are some rules that are absolutes. Our existence was carved out by the collective magic of believers, which is something I know you’re aware of.” He gave me a small, ironic smile, then continued. “But as we evolved and became self-aware, we had more control over some things. Attraction, morals, actions. There is one absolute through all of it, especially for my kind.”

Nathan looked at me as he spoke, but now he paused for a moment, and then his gaze shifted down to his empty glass as he dropped his hand and said something I hadn’t heard in a long, long time.

“‘And of these three remain: faith, hope, and love; but the greatest of these is love.’ William, I loved you, and you returned that love, but I couldn’t reconcile that with the fact that you are a demon. I let my pride get in the way and my assumptions. I see the guilt and the sorrow in your eyes, and even now, I’m not sure you’ll believe me when I tell you it’s not your fault.”

I stared at him, still holding the feather in my hand and not sure what else I should say after all of that. I did the only thing I could think to do at that moment. I set down the feather and waved down the waitress.

“Hello, miss. We’re going to need a bottle of the Glenfiddich. This gentleman and I have a great deal of drinking to accomplish tonight.”

“Do you think that will help?”

“No, not particularly. But I do know that it soothes a broken heart somewhat, and the only unfortunate part in all this is that we managed to break each others.”

“You’re a scholar and a gentleman, William.”

“Oh save it,” I said as the waitress came over, opened the bottle and poured us both a triple. I drank my straight off and poured another. At the very least, both of us would need most of this bottle, and maybe another to even get to buzzed. “I’m still planning on having a piece of your ass one way or another before this night is over.”

That laugh. Nathan's laugh was low and sultry as it came out, and he lifted his glass again. “Touché, Bill.”