I just needed to keep my mind off the fact that I was walking up the front porch of my childhood home like it was a stranger's house. Like I didn’t know that the porch swing would break if even the lightest feather landed on it. Or the tire swing rope left slivers in your hands. Walking up the small pathway, every little detail of a foreign life began to flood in.

Birthday parties, Fourth of July celebrations. Kids running irresponsibly with sparkly fire sticks while parents blew up giant fire bombs in the sky. My brothers and I playing tag, or hide and seek. I can still picture the time I hid in a bush for three hours while my older twin brothers panicked that they’d lost me. I wished it was just like that still.

My hand paused an inch from the door.

I wasn’t supposed to see them like this. They didn’t even care to ask how I was, or where I have been staying. Very few humans really understand the concept of the Colony. I could turn around now. Maybe I wouldn’t have time to get to class on time, but I could just go home. But where was home? Was home here, with family? Or with Colin? Maybe I didn’t have a home after all.

I knocked on the door three times before I got an answering call of, “it’s open!”. I knew it was open. I knew where the rock was that had the key hidden under it. But that didn’t stop me from knocking. I opened the door and it creaked open. One step in the door, and the flush of cinnamon scented candles blasted through my nose.

Mom used to burn Cinnamon candles all the time, and it was never a problem. Apparently, it was a problem now.

I coughed painfully and stepped back outside. It was way too strong in there to even breathe. I thought it was just if I ate cinnamon, not just breathing it in! This was going to be much harder now.

“Donny? Is that you? I told you-” My mom came around the corner and saw me. She couldn’t finish her sentence. I was still hacking up something from the back of my throat, but I waved. The gesture was not returned.

“You weren’t supposed to come here.” She said. Well, that makes two of us. Like I really wanted to see her. Mostly I wanted to see Mike, because I knew he was better around supernatural creatures. He and Cal were the ones that brought me to Colin. Whether that has been a good or bad thing has remained to be seen.

I coughed again before stepping back away from the porch. The draft from the front door was just making it ten times worse for me. The cinnamon was starting to burn the back of my throat.

“I don’t want to be here either. I came to talk to Mike about Cal. Just tell him that I’m here.” I told her from the front lawn. She stood in the doorway looking as put together as ever. I wonder if she hurt at all from losing a son. And now, another...

“No, come in. We have lots to talk about.” My mom told me. She didn’t get it. She didn’t even realize that the candles I once associated with home were physically causing me pain. How could she have known though? She hated supernaturals so why would she ever learn anything about dragons.

“I can’t. And I really am only here for Cal. So please just send Mike out.” I was going to stand my ground. I was simply investigating another disappearance. There was no difference between this and Mack’s house for all I knew.

My mom set aside whatever she was holding in her hands, and walked barefoot out onto the porch to talk to me instead of yell. Her hair was still a wavy blond color, and her eyes were still a poignant blue. The only difference now was that she looked different. Almost taller or more proud. I wasn’t sure how to describe the general stature but it seemed a lot like confidence. I missed her so much.

“I missed you,” She told me. Oh yeah, then how come no one contacted me until Cal went missing? “I wanted to see you every day that you were gone.” My mom opened her arms to gesture that I should hug her. I didn’t move forward. That was obviously a lie. If she missed me, if she wanted to see me, she would have. I wasn’t falling for whatever game this was.

“Then why didn’t you?” I shot back. I didn’t really expect a straightforward answer. I thought I would get a bit of floundering and maybe even some nervous stuttering. But I didn’t.

“I didn’t want you to get distracted while they trained you on how to be human again.” She said sweetly. Human? No. Dragon? Definitely. Was she confused about why Mike and Cal took me to Master Wei? I mean, clearly not since she obviously knows that I’m not human. On a side note, how can someone be trained to be human again, exactly? That seemed scary.

“I didn’t.” I said absentmindedly. “I mean, I didn’t train to be a human again?” I was unsure on how this was supposed to go. She was clearly confused about what I’ve been doing for the past three months.

“Mom, the door is wide open!” Mike called from the front door. He looked up from his phone to see me standing there.

I don’t remember a time when we’d both looked so happy to see each other. He ran towards me with open arms and engulfed me in a rib breaking hug. I laughed as he did so. It was good to feel missed.

“It’s so good to see you! How are you? How is Colin?” I tried not to let my face pale when Mike brought up Colin. I wasn’t here to get into that. If this was a social visit, Cal would be here for it. I scratched the back of my head and looked for the right words to say.

“None of that matters right now. I’m here to help you find Cal. Tell me everything that happened.” I was happy to see him, but this needed to be a serious discussion. I didn’t think mom really understood what was going on, and I didn’t want to get into that now. It’s been months since I’ve seen her, and I think she’s had the wrong idea this entire time.

“Right. Let’s go inside and talk.” Mike gestured to the front door, which was still wide open. I laughed outrageously loud to emphasize how silly going inside seemed. I was about to make up some stupid lie about how it was easier to solve a crime when I was outside, but Mike stopped me.

“Don’t worry. I blew out all the candles, and the front door has been open for a while now.” He assured me. I wasn’t so sure that blowing out the candles and leaving the front door open would really solve my crappy allergies, but maybe we would get lucky. I nodded, and followed Mike and mom inside.

“What do the candles have to do with anything?” My mother asked. I didn’t want her to know, so when Mike went to explain, I cut him off.

“My sense of smell is pretty sensitive. Don’t you remember?” I tried to play it off like I’ve always hated the smell of cinnamon candles, even though I used to love them.

“Never to my homemade cinnamon candles, but maybe that training has made you sensitive to it.” My mom said to me. I was getting really tired of her referencing a training that hasn’t taken place. The only training I’ve gotten in the last four months was from a werewolf and a one hundred and thirty year old dragon. I wouldn’t count that as “human training”.

“Mom, there wasn’t any human training. I’ve been living with other dragons. But I’m a lot better, and I’ve even started college.” I told her proudly. I wasn’t about to tell her it was the community college across town, but otherwise, it was a good accomplishment.

“You aren’t cured?” Her voice faltered when she spoke. “But Cal told me that you went to work with a special group that would cure you of the supernatural disease.” She gestured to me when she said disease. I wasn’t diseased. I was a dragon, and apparently not related to my own mother.

“Cal lied, mom. We would never send him to some cult like that.” Mike told her. She turned to him calmly, and then smacked him as hard across the face wordlessly. She turned back to me, and was suddenly very rigid. She tried her best not to look disgusted with me. I appreciated the effort.

“Well, I’m going to college.” I say again. Normally, when you tell a parent that you got into a college, they celebrate. My mother just smiled painfully and didn’t say anything. I was sure that if she did, the words would be hurtful and cruel. I would rather hear nothing than have to listen to my mom say something terrible to me.

“So Cal…” I tried. Mike nodded his head nervously. “Tell me everything you saw.” I told him sternly. I needed to know if he saw a blue fire like the others did. It still baffled me that the tree in front of Colin and I burned when no one was being taken at the time.

“We were out late, and then Cal said he wanted to get home earlier because of a calculus test. He left before me. I didn’t realize he was missing until I got home.” Mike told me. I nodded and shifted uncomfortably in the chair. Mom was staring at me intensely, and it was making it really hard to stay objective.

“So, you didn’t see him disappear?” I asked. Mike shook his head.

“No. I should have gone back with him.” Mike frowned and looked down at his shoes. This wasn’t helping. This could be any form of just regular old kidnapping, not supernatural disappearances. Why did they call me if it wasn’t supernatural?

“So why are you calling me about this? This doesn’t look supernatural at all.” I told him frustratedly. Mike looked at me like I’d lost my mind. His eyes bulged out at me with surprise etched into his face.

“See? These dragons have made him inhuman.” Mom commented. I rolled my eyes and disregarded her.

“Why would you think it was supernatural? I called because Cal is your brother.” Mike told me. I thought back. Master Wei and Jac never actually told me what Mike said on the phone. Maybe they suspected it was supernatural and wanted me to investigate?

“There’s been a lot of kidnappings and disappearances in the supernatural world lately. I thought it might be related but maybe not.” I shrugged. Don’t get me wrong, I was plenty worried about my brother. I shook in my boots every time I realized he wasn’t sitting here with us.

“What are you? Some sort of supernatural investigator?” My mom grumbled. I wasn’t going to tell her that those actually did exist, along with bounty hunters and unicorns.

“No, mom. I’m a Zodiac.” That statement flew out of my mouth with resentment and pride all rolled up into a tightly knotted ball. I figured it didn’t really matter what she knew now. It wasn’t like she could tell me what to do now. I didn’t live here, and I was nineteen. I could do whatever I liked at this point.

It stayed quiet for a while after that. I left mom to process what was happening on the couch as I went to make some coffee. Coffee always calmed me down when I felt afraid or nervous. But it made me jittery as hell.

I could just tell her everything about my life. It’s not like she would be any more out of her mind with shock at this point. I could just tell her that I was probably gay, and probably had a boyfriend. Big emphasis on the probably.

Colin drifted into my mind as I poured myself a mug of black coffee. He always drank it black, except for that one time he got sweet hot cocoa just to fit in with Carla and I. Colin was complicated, and I couldn’t expect him to always be on board with what I was doing. I knew he always had my back despite our disagreements. I sipped the black coffee and grumbled about how gross it was as if he were actually here with me.

Mike came in and poured himself a mug of coffee and added milk to it. He gave me a weird look when he noticed the mug of extra dark black coffee in my hand. I shrugged wordlessly and sat down on the stool that mom kept in the kitchen for guests. I was a guest, now. An unwelcome guest.

“Where is Colin? I thought he would be here with you.” Mike asked as casually as he could manage. I shook my head while simultaneously shrugging my shoulders. The universal gesture for “I know, but I don’t want to think about it.”

“Mad at me, I think. I should probably head back. I skipped class to be here, and you’re no closer to finding Cal.” I said disheartedly. Mom seemed like she didn’t even care that Cal was gone.

“How come mom isn’t worried about Cal?” I asked Mike as he sipped at his lukewarm sugar flavored coffee. He had added enough cream and sugar to kill a small animal. He shrugged and looked at the living room entrance.

“Hard to say. Maybe she’s just in denial. She panicked at first, called the police, and once they left… She's been eerily normal. Like it’s just another day and Cal is on his way home from class.” Mike tried to smile, but it came out as creepy and depressed rather than happy.

“And dad… he isn’t even coming home. He’s stayed the night in his office every night since Cal disappeared. I think he can’t stand to see mom like this.”

I didn’t respond. Why didn’t they act this way when I went missing? Because of some lie Cal devised to keep me safe? How could he tell mom something like that? A cult to make me human again? Did those really exist? I gulped down the rest of the bitter coffee and deposited the mug in the sink. The bitter taste resonated in my mouth like a bad fight.

Like Colin’s fight with me.

I needed to stop thinking about that. He would get over whatever was bothering him, and we’ll be fine again. But what if he doesn’t? What if he keeps pulling away until he can’t come back? I don’t have the courage to approach him first. I never have.

“Colin… Colin and I fought. And lately he’s been distant. I wish he wasn’t, but nothing I do makes it any better. The more I push to be closer to him, the further he pulls away. I’m trying to give him space… but what if it’s too much space? How do I know what he wants, or what he needs? He refuses to tell me what’s wrong and-” Suddenly I was spiraling out of control. My brother set down his coffee and pulled my weak crying face into his chest.

“If he can’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated, then it’s time to move on.” Mike said. Part of my wished Cal was here because I didn’t have the heart to tell Mike that mates didn’t work that way. You can’t just abandon your rider because he’s unreasonably distant from you for a few days.

I cried in Mike’s arms for a while longer. Mike was always the impossibly emotional child, while Cal was the calculating and brainy child. As twins, they made up a well oiled machine. I was never as close to Cal as I was to Mike, but maybe that was because we expressed emotion differently. Maybe Colin expressed emotion differently too, and I was just incapable of understanding those emotions.

“It’s going to be okay. Even if it’s not him, you’ll find The One.” Mike soothed me.

“You don’t understand,” I blubbered. “He is the only One.”