Sitting in the back seat next to Callum, with Jace at the wheel and West in the passenger seat, I couldn't shake the weight of the thoughts swirling in my mind. My brother.
Every night, without fail, my dreams are filled with him. Sometimes, it's the good memories—the days we'd laugh and joke together, the moments that felt simple and whole. Other times, the dreams are haunting, and I see him—feel him—die all over again. It's like I'm trapped in that moment, unable to move, unable to save him.
They say time heals, that it becomes easier to live with the loss, but I don't know if that's true. Because every time I think I'm okay, I'm reminded that he's gone. And no matter how much time passes, the hole he left in my life doesn't get any smaller. It doesn't heal—it just becomes something I have to learn to live with, even if I'm not sure how.
After a while, you learn to stop crying every single day. You get better at hiding it, at pretending that you're fine. You learn not to break down when someone asks if you're okay, even though it feels like they're digging into the wound you're desperately trying to keep covered.
For the past two years, I've poured everything I have into finding out who was responsible for my brother's death that night. Every lead I follow, every person I question, it all feels like I'm chasing ghosts. I just want to understand—how someone could do that. How someone could hurt him, knock him down, and then just walk away as if nothing happened, as if he didn't matter.
I don't think I'll ever understand it, but I can't stop searching. The anger, the hurt, it's there all the time, pushing me forward. Because I need answers. I need to know why.
Flashback
Walking down our street, coming back from Starbucks with my brother Miles, I couldn't stop laughing at his ridiculous jokes. He always had a way of making even the cheesiest punchlines sound hilarious.
"Alright, this one's a good one, Hope," he said, stopping in front of me, his hands landing on my shoulders to hold me still.
"Why don't skeletons fight each other?"
I raised an eyebrow, pretending to think hard. "Hmm, I have no idea, Miles. Please, do tell."
"Because they don't have the guts!" he said with a mischievous grin, wiggling his fingers like he was showing off a big secret. I burst out laughing, shaking my head in disbelief.
When he finally caught up to me, he threw his arm over my shoulder and nudged me with his side. "Y'know, sis, all jokes aside, I'm not the biggest fan of you and Mason being together."
I stopped walking and turned to face him, my eyebrows furrowed, crossing my arms over my chest. "Wait, what?"
"Before you kill me with that look or say anything, just hear me out." Miles straightened himself, taking a deep breath. "He's my best friend, but that doesn't mean he's a good person. And he's definitely not the right person for you."
I scoffed, turning to walk across the road, tossing over my shoulder, "No one will ever be good enough for me, Miles. I'm not having this conversation with you."
"Goddammit, Hope, just listen to me!" he shouted, his voice shaking with frustration. I froze, hearing the tension in his voice.
I spun around to face him, but just then, the engine of a car rumbled nearby. The headlights blinded me, making it impossible to see clearly. My body went stiff with panic, and I heard Miles shout my name, telling me to move. But I couldn't. My body just wouldn't listen.
Then, everything happened in a blur.
Suddenly, I felt a force slam into me, knocking me out of the way of the car. I hit the pavement hard, scraping my left side against the rough ground, the shock making my heart race. My vision blurred with pain, but I pushed myself up, glancing around frantically. My eyes found Miles, lying motionless in the street.
"No, no, no, no, Miles, wake up! Please!" I screamed, shaking him, my tears falling freely. "You can't leave me. You promised, you said you would always be here for me."
I couldn't stop crying, couldn't stop shaking as I begged him to open his eyes. He couldn't be gone. Not like this. He was everything to me.
"Hope!" Someone called my name, but I couldn't tear my gaze away from Miles.
Then I felt arms wrap around me, pulling me away from him. "Get off me! I need to call an ambulance!" I struggled, my heart breaking as I kicked out, but the arms holding me were strong, holding me together when I wanted to break.
It was Timmy, one of Mason's friends. He held me tightly, trying to calm me down. His voice was steady, but I could hear the worry behind it.
Mason was kneeling beside Miles, talking to him, his face pale with shock. Every now and then, his gaze flickered to me, but I couldn't look at him. I couldn't focus on anything but Miles.
Timmy pulled me close, letting me rest my head on his shoulder while he rubbed my back, offering whatever comfort he could. I could feel my legs shaking, and I swayed slightly, but he kept me upright.
"Mason... Mason, you have to promise me," Miles' voice was weak but urgent, "Promise me you'll look after my sister. She needs you now more than ever."
"I promise, Miles," Mason choked out, his voice raw with emotion.
"M-Miles... I love you so much," I whispered, trying to hold on to every moment with him. I clutched his hand, trembling, unable to stop the tears from flowing. "Don't leave me. I don't know how to do this without you."
I kissed his forehead, my lips trembling as I felt his life slip away. His hand went limp in mine, and I knew. I felt the exact moment he was gone.
"No, no, no!" I screamed, my chest aching, my whole world crumbling. He was gone.
I was alone.
"Come on, princess, we need to get you up," Mason's voice broke through my hysteria, but I couldn't let go of Miles. I couldn't leave him. Not like this.
"GET OFF ME!" I yelled, pushing Mason away, clutching my brother tighter, unwilling to let go.
"I'm not leaving him! He didn't deserve this!" I cried out, the tears falling uncontrollably.
The flashing lights of the ambulance grew closer, but I still couldn't move. I whispered in Miles' ear one last time, a promise that I didn't know how I would keep, but I would.
"I'll find out who did this, Miles. I swear, I'll find them. Even if it's the last thing I do."
Comments (0)
See all