As I take in one last breath in preparation for what lies ahead of me, I walk into the ballroom with my head held high and Alexei at my side. For the first time in a long time, I'd been in a place that's made me feel miniscule. Even with Alexei beside me, I feel like a speck of dust in the world's cleanest room.

Crystal chandeliers spiral down from the arching snowy white ceiling, illuminating the cream walls and a floor so polished it looks like an iced-over lake. It isn't the ballroom alone that's made me feel this way.

The men, my old classmates, radiate an aura of confidence and pride as they stand before each other, a glass of wine in their hands. Their low chatter accompanies wafts of gourmet cooking and alcohol. I look down at the simple suit I wear before them.

"For the fifth time, Cy, you look cute." He reminds me, sounding annoyed at me before the banquet's even started. "So cute that even Luci would wanna fuck you right here in front of everyone."

"Let's go to the bar, you idiot." I chuckle at his humor in an attempt to loosen up before the worst of the evening hits me.

We make our way over to the bar, ignoring the others' incessant gossiping and whispers floating around us. I never once cared for their horrific gossip as they were baseless. I will say though, there was a time when they got to me. A time I don't wish to return to just yet.

"Scotch on the rocks and a Gin and Tonic," Alexei relays to the bartender who soon begins preparing the drinks he ordered for us.

Much like them, school was what my entire life was surrounded by all because it was the only place I could go to make myself feel something. Anything at all, for that fact. It's where I met Luci, but it's not something I'm able to say I don't regret.

Things between us weren't normal and I hadn't realized it until I grew up and life punched me in the face. Even then, I was naïve idiot who wanted a quick fuck without any attachments. And now, look at where I am. I'm a 20-something years old writer on vacation with severe Depression who has only had two people I can consider my friends my whole life.

"I'm pathetic."

The bartender places the glass of liquor in front of me, nodding before he gets back to doing what he's being paid for. I down the drink in one gulp, forgetting what it is that I'm drinking. As it cascades down my throat, it leaves behind a burning trail.

"Take it easy, Tiger. You're gonna make it harder for Alexei to take you back."

'Tiger'. At the sound of the familiar nickname, whatever is hiding behind those steel walls, skips a few beats as it recovers before it's broken again. Sharpened claws inch towards it, almost afraid to hold onto it. Bit by bit, it gets stronger and recovers from the torture it's put through over and over again.

The urge to turn around and hug the man standing behind me washes over me as I ignore the warning bells going off in my head. I turn around in my chair to find the expected. Standing there at about six feet tall in a suit like my own, is Lucian Pierce, or as we like to call him, Luci.

"Luci, long time no see. It's been a while," I greet him as though he means as much to me as Alexei does - an ordinary friend.

"It has. I hear you've been out of the game for a while now." He places his glass on the counter as he gets a bit more comfortable than I think he should.

"Uh, yeah." Is all I can manage to force out.

His manner of speaking so casually about something so serious has always stunned me in more ways than one, but I had gotten used to it after some time. Although, this time, I won't need to get used to it again since we may never see each other again.

He's been known to travel to different countries with each mission he accepts. So, what's the use in getting close to him only to be left in the dust when it's over? Besides, I don't think Aurelius would approve of someone like him. Why do I care about what he would think of Luci?

"I hear Kitty's found a new toy to play with. How is he? Theodore's the name, right?"

As usual, he does his research before we have a 'normal' conversation and tries to surprise me. However, his old, twisted ways can get boring at times. He needs to come up with something new or take off the mask and reveal the real him.

But, that'll never happen anytime soon.

"He's a bold wolf that needs taming, but..." I trail off as I stare at the beads of water forming along the side of my glass until I turn to him. I continue to say, "Once he's gotten his teeth sunken into his prey, he won't want to let go. However, in the end, it's all just a fling."

Hearing myself say the same words I came to terms with hurts more than I think it should. No matter how much I accept it, it hurts to hear them. But, it's better this way. I won't get involved in his life and he won't get involved in mine.

I can keep living life as I did before I became his patient, especially since I need to change therapists. It's best to distance myself from him while I can before things get worse.

"Doesn't seem like you want it to just be a "fling". It sounds like you want something more." He takes a sip of his liquor, placing the empty glass on the counter.

"What? No, I don't!" I deny his statement in an instant, but I can't say I think he's wrong.

"You bear the pain of someone who's been hurt by everyone around him. You do so with a bright smile as you bathe in the blood of your enemies. You want something more, but you're scared."

Scared? It's something that even I, someone numb to everything around him, has experienced before I sold my heart for a nickel and became the robot I am now. A robot is a nice to put it.

As I stare at him, I can't help the smile tugging at the corners of my lips while I wipe away beads of water along my glass. He's a man unlike the rest of them. For someone as ruthless as him, you wouldn't expect him to be able to act like anyone else in the room.

Then again, he doesn't reveal this side of himself to anyone he deems unworthy of his kindness. I can't say I would blame him. There are people here I would never want to cross paths with. The moment I reveal the slightest hint of a weakness, they grab onto it and use it against me.

Much like Luci did the first time we met.

"You scare me sometimes." He forces a chuckle as he taps the counter.

"Why?" I ask him, confused as to how I would scare someone who resembles the Devil himself in the flesh and blood.

"Because I tell you things I can't ever tell myself. Good night, Tiger. Until next time." With that, he pays the bartender and leaves us.

He waves goodbye one last time with another carbon copy of a smile that once held meaning. He walks away from us, disappearing into thin air.

"Until next time, Lucy..."