For a few moments, I just stood there, my mouth probably hanging open as my brain tried to process what had just happened because I was sure that my ears were deceiving me. They must have been because the alternative was too much for me to handle.

"Jake...", I whispered softly, willing the boy to look at me, to say that he was joking, to stand his ground and confess; but he didn't do any of it.

Jake, instead, wiped his mouth harshly with the back of his hand, a horrible sneer climbing up to his face as if the mere thought of the two of us kissing was too repulsive to even think about.

"I think that it's time for you to leave, George. You are no longer welcome here.", Jake's dad said, all the while glaring a hole into the side of my face, while I remained in place, still looking pleadingly at Jake.

"Jake, please.", I tried one more time, my voice shaking as my eyes filled with tears, finally managing to get Jake to look at me. But what I saw there made me take a step back, as the warm, blue eyes that I loved so much and that were always so full of light and love, grew colder with each passing second.

"I think my father told you something, or are you deaf now too, apart from being a fag?", he threw the vile words in my face, making me feel like I had been slapped, only it was worse than that, as not even the harshest punch could have hurt me as much as those few simple words did.

"I hate you.", I whispered, tears streaming down my face freely, as I turned around and ran out of the house as fast as I could.

~

You would think that going to the same school and sharing a number of classes together would make the two of us spend a lot of time together, but it proved to be quite the opposite.

After that night when the person I loved more than anything betrayed me and cast me aside like I was a piece of trash, I barely saw Jake.

It was, after all, Jake's last year there before moving away to college, so was is easy for the two of us to avoid each other.

I preferred it that way since even a glimpse of the blond made me want to cry and yell at him at the same time, as well as run up to him and beg, which was probably the worst out of the three so I thanked my lucky stars for being able to abstain of doing any of the above.

I had actually hoped for a few days after the incident that Jake would call me or approach me in school to apologize and explain his actions but that never happened, and after a while, I stopped hoping.

I knew every single part of Jake's body; every mole, every freckle, every curve, and dip. I had kissed him everywhere I could, in every way imaginable and Jake had done the same to me. But now, it all seemed like a dream, as he acted as if we have never met before; like I wasn't even there, making me feel dirty and used.

It hurt.

I was still very much in love with him that sometimes I felt like I couldn't even breathe properly without this immense pain suffocating me. I barely ate or slept, and the only thing still able to give me even a little bit of happiness was my art.

Once I was sure that it was really and truly over, I had gathered up all of my emotions, all the hurt, and pain, and directed them toward the canvas, letting it all go.

It had been cathartic and it had helped me heal just a little, although I was pretty sure that this particular wound would never truly heal.

"George?", I heard someone calling my name, bringing me back to the present.

It was lunchtime and I was currently in the arts' room, having gotten permission from the teacher to spend the time there since lunchtime had proven to be the worst part of my day with Jake being there.

I set aside the brush before turning around and freezing at the sight that met me.

"Leave me alone. I have nothing to say to you.", I said to Jake and turned back around, desperately trying to hide just how much I was affected by his presence. It had been a month since we have been this close, and even though I was angry and disappointed, I still longed for his touch.

"I just wanted to say goodbye.", Jake whispered, the words making me close my eyes, in an attempt to will the tears away.

I was surprised by how much that statement hurt me since I knew that it was coming. It was the end of the school year and the end of high school for Jake, as opposed to me who still had a year left before I could leave this stupid town and go far away.

"Fine, anything else?", I said after a moment, as blandly as I could, my back still turned to Jake, since I knew that I would break if I allowed myself to look at him.

"I just don't want to go knowing that you hate me, George.", Jake said as I huffed and rolled my eyes.

"I was under the impression that you couldn't care less for what I think.", I bit out, sadness quickly transforming into anger at the memory of that awful night.

"Oh come on! You couldn't honestly think that we could continue George! This was never going to work. I have a future to build. I want to play football which means that I can never come out.", Jake suddenly growled and I did turn around then, my eyes glaring and the insults and pent up anger at the tip of my tongue. But as my eyes fell on Jake I stopped them, and just shook my head in defeat.

It was so obvious to me at that moment that Jake was trying to look tough and like what he was saying was a fact, but the thing was, I knew him. I knew everything about him and that's how I knew that this was all just another act. Jake wasn't actually talking to me, he was talking to himself; he was desperately trying to convince himself that this was the only way for him to fulfill his dreams.

I so wanted to tell him that he was wrong, I wanted to reach for him and hold him until he held back, until he opened his eyes and finally saw us for what we were; for whom he was.

But I couldn't.

This was something Jake needed to do alone. And even though it pained me so much that I was barely able to breathe, I knew that I had to let him go and let him find his own truth.

"Then go! Go and be famous, be the best football player that this world has ever seen if that's what you wish.", I said and paused for a second, as the next words that were about to come out of my mouth, threatened to tore something out of me and I needed a moment before I was able to voice them.

"Goodbye, Jake.", I finally said and started making my way out of the room, and if I heard the silent 'goodbye' in return, I chose to ignore it as I left the building and a part of my heart behind.