“People must always be prepared for the Emi-monster to strike from the shadows like a ninja!” Emi raised her fist triumphantly in the air.

“Sorry about Emi, Saki-chan,” I apologized. “She’s an idiot.” Saki shook her head as if to say an apology wasn’t necessary. I let her go and hefted my backpack higher onto my shoulder, shaking my head in wonder as Emi paraded through the crowds like a conquering hero. A moment later Saki followed us into the hall.

“Where’s Emi?” Mizuki asked, pulling a chair up to the tables we’d pushed together for lunch. The weather outside had reverted to what I referred to as the “Tottori special”. The wind howled off the sea, carrying with it huge droplets of water that didn’t quite count as rain but soaked everything with a sticky sheen of salt water. In other words, it was a typical Tottori day in the fall.

“She’s getting bread from the cafeteria,” I kicked and scowled at Yuto and he slunk backwards like a beaten dog. That’s right, I thought, 3 meter distance for you, you wretched cretin. “Which reminds me, why did you ditch me this morning?”

“I didn’t ditch you! I left you a message yesterday to let you know I was going into work with my mom to help with the prep work for her party today!” Mizuki sniffed. “It’s not my fault you never listen to your messages!” Mizuki’s mom worked as a wedding planner part time and her “specialty” was cringy bachelorette parties with weird furry fetish-looking themes. I saw a few of the photos on her website once and wished I could have deleted the site of frolicking, fur-clad people from my memory. I supposed there was a kink for all kinds but yiffing was a bit too extreme for me.

“I…can’t disagree,” I finally managed, unable to argue.

“Kasumin!” the cry echoed through the classroom as Emi flung herself onto me from behind. Her fingers squeezed my boobs and I felt my face blush fiercely. “Ooh! You’re getting some heft up top there, K-chan!”

“Knock it off!” I protested, trying to shrug out of her grasp. Emi giggled and rushed to her seat, plopping down. “That’s sexual harassment, you know!”

“Its fine,” Emi waved her hand away, looking behind me and patting the chair settled between her and I.

“It is not fine,” I muttered, straightening my sweater while I glared at Yuto who had watched the entire exchange in wide-eyed wonder like the closet pervert he was.

“G-Good afternoon, senpais,” a tremulous voice whispered from behind me. Saki had made her class 3 debut, apparently.

“Sit! Sit!” Emi encouraged her, patting the chair once again. Saki moved around from behind me and sat on the indicated chair. Looking at her in the light, she was truly an adorable creature. It took all of my willpower to keep myself from booping her nose.

“Hi!” Mizuki enthused, waving the hand which was not clutching her sandwich in greeting. “I’m Mizuki! This is Yuto!” Yuto waved hesitantly from his seat some distance away from the table.

“H-Hi!” Saki stuttered, her dimples flashing on her round cheeks as she smiled in greeting.

“Oh! Mizuchi!” Emi exclaimed loudly, tearing the package of her bread open and biting into the golden loaf. “We started playing this awesome game! There are these Valkyrie that kill monsters and wear like no clothes while doing it! It’s epic!” At least I was relatively sure that’s what she said. Her mouth was pretty full and the words bled together as she spoke.

“I see,” Mizuki nodded, plainly not seeing at all. “New game, yes, yes.”

“You should play it with us! Kasumin and Saki-chan are playing it, too. We’re going to start a clan together and go to war against other clans and take all their women hostage and force them to serve us! There’s going to totally be some Hentai Stockton Syndrome going on!”

“That’s Stockholm Syndrome and enslaving the populace isn’t an option in the game,” I corrected her.

“Whaaat?” Emi cried, bread crumbs puffing from her mouth to land on the desks where she deftly brushed them onto the floor with her sleeves.

“Y-you can’t take people hostage, Emi Senpai,” Saki said gently, as if trying to lessen the blow of correcting her elder.

“What a gyp!” Emi pouted, taking another big bite of the bread. “Anyway, we’re still going to start a clan and take the war to the unwashed masses with our stable of hot and meaty Norse warriors!” If there was one thing Emi had in abundance was enthusiasm. She fumbled around in her pocket and brought her phone out, tapping through several screens before showing the screen showing a broad cartoon Norse warrior carrying a huge sword on her back to Mizuki. “This is Helga! I have no idea what she does but she is thick AF and carries that huge sword! Impressive, right? Right?” Mizuki bent a bit closer to look at the picture on Emi’s screen.

“Mmm, yeah!” Mizuki agreed. “She’s…er…thick AF for sure.”

“Mizuchi is in! We are so going to rule Thedara!” Emi clenched her fist enthusiastically, shoving the rest of the bread into her mouth. “Beware peasants! We are War Bunnies and we’ve come for your daughters!”

“I never agreed to this,” I pointed out. Emi brushed away my concerns with a wave of her hand.

“War Bunnies…Assemble!” Emi was thoroughly engrossed in whatever dreams of conquest her mind had seized on and couldn’t be talked down at this point. I sighed in resignation.

“Ah, what do we have here?” I heard a soft voice from behind me. I turned to find Aria staring at us with a grin on her face. Suddenly she caught sight of Saki sitting next to me and her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “More importantly…who do we have here?”