“You cannot begin the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.” - Michael McMillan.

A line of men scanned their surroundings in a broken city, everything was just dust and rubble. Buildings standing like shards of glass pushed into the dirt and no life to be seen. Spread out over twenty meters, twelve men wearing desert DPM carrying various weapon systems. They seemed casual as if this was their daily walk as their attention began to slip from observing their surroundings to just getting to their destination.

My headset crackled to life with a short burst of static, “This is fuckin’ wank.” Kirk ‘Swany’ Swanson transmitted through the radio to my team. He received a few chuckles and grins while someone else started up a bit of banter.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, Swany, soon you’ll be back home with your missus and cheating behind her back.” A Northern Irish accent pitched in with a sing-song melody from Ross “Paddy” O’Brady ribbed.

“Ya know if you weren’t taking point, I’d kick the shit outta you again!” Swany countered. Army banter has always been weird, it reminded me of the game hot potato, I mused about it for a little while by myself but pushed it out of my mind when I spotted what I thought to be a person in one of those skeleton buildings.

“Comms, comms, comms! Look alive, Fives and twenties, we got a dicker one-fifty far and high, Paddy start calling it.” I cleared the airwaves and started waking my men up again for situational awareness. Paddy began scanning every intersection and alleyway he thought the enemy could try and ambush us from.

Then all hell broke loose.

An explosion rocketed from my left, the concrete used from the building was turned into shrapnel by placing an IED behind it and using it to attack us. It kicked up a massive amount of dust, sand, and smoke. I fell to the floor in pain and heard shouting in both Arabic and English.

“Man Down!”

“Eric is down!”

“Two I.C?!”

“Go firm! Go Firm!”

“We need to get out of here!”

“Charlie cover! Delta Move! Move! Move!”

Gunfire erupts around me as I try to remove the daze from my head, I push a smaller block of concrete off my body and first look for my rifle. I spot it, however, it’s in pieces, the trigger mechanism housing has shattered off the butt of the rifle and is completely useless.

Glancing back at my body I try to estimate if I can walk, I drag myself up onto my side and slowly put pressure onto my legs. A sharp pain shoots all the way up my right leg as I slowly balance out onto both my feet. Sporadic gunfire shooting all over the place around me, I draw my Glock 17 pistol and put a bullet in the chamber. I begin limping my way to where I think my team would be.

“Has anyone sent a contact report yet?!”

“Charlie-Zero this is Charlie One-Two Bravo! Contact Wait Out!” Another yells into the radio, I limp in the direction of the voice, trying to keep my head down as much as possible to avoid getting shot.

“Friendly check fire!” I shout at them to make myself known but it comes out drier and weaker than I expected.

“Friendly front! Check fire!”

““Check Fire!”” A chorus of men also yells out to be heard.

When I get close enough I can begin to see them through the dust and sand being kicked up in the air, they spot me too as well. They’re taking cover of what was the building turned IED, its rubble providing protection from sight more than anything.

“Corporal!”

“Eric, what do we do?”

“Get anything they can to assist us!” I yell at the Signaller.

“Charlie-Zero this is Charlie-One-Two-Bravo, we need immediate support over!” He quickly yells into the radio and he very quickly gets a reply. “Anything! Get us anything over!” A couple more seconds of more sporadic gunfire before he gets another reply. “Ten minutes!”

We may not survive that long, the dust and sand are beginning to settle and it looks like they know exactly where we are, we just have to do anything we can to survive now.

“RPG!”

And the last thing I felt before darkness was a huge impact from the wall I was using as cover.

                                                                                          ⚶

I woke up with a headache, I looked around and found a glass and jug of water and filled it up then slowly sipped from it. My mind feels muddled as if I slept too long or too little, I tilt my head and crack my neck in both directions while I get to grips with my surroundings. White sheets, white privacy curtains, aluminum frame bed, dull chatter from behind a wall, and the smell of disinfectant. I know what this place is but the name is on the tip of my tongue, it’s rather large, houses the injured, and heals people.

A hospital.

I smile at myself for remembering what it is, I took some more around my bed and find a controller and press a button. I hear a faint ringing noise from behind the thin plaster walls and the chatter stops. I hear a door click open and a few footsteps scan around the room, “Hello did anyone press the button?” I hear a male noise call out.

“Y-yes.” My voice cracks and I cough to try and clear it, the nurse or doctor heads in my direction and pulls open the privacy curtain, his eyes wide in disbelief.

“Excuse me I’ll be a few seconds.” He rushes out of the room and I hear him ask for help from a person called “Moira”. And before I know it I’m having a light shone in my eyes, asking me if it hurts anywhere.

“Do you know where you are?” Moira asks.

“A hospital,” I answer quite proudly having figured it out myself she nods.

“When were you born?”

I opened my mouth to try and answer, it was on the tip of my tongue like the name of the place I’m in but I didn’t know.

“Alright instead of that, your age?”

I feel myself go cold, my stomach knots itself over and over again.

“Name of your first pet?” Her voice grows concerned and I shake my head with a no.

“Your parents' names?” I say nothing.

“Your name?” After a few seconds, she probably circles the ‘no’ option on her clipboard.

“Can I have a few minutes?” Moira and the male nurse nod and leave, I turn my legs over the side of the bed so they’re hanging over the ground or that would have happened if I wasn’t missing my left leg. Running my hands through my hair I try to work out what’s happening to me. It’s a hospital, but how did I get here? Why can’t I remember my age? My parents, my pets, who I am? Where the fuck is my leg?! I try and swallow but I feel it get stuck in the back of my throat out of fear.

I start hyperventilating, I don’t understand, but it isn’t long before they re-enter the room. I think they waited a literal minute, Moira, the male nurse, and a new person who looks like a doctor entered.

“Mr. Eric, my name is Logan Lawson, but just called me Logan,” he introduces himself quickly and politely gestures to the female nurse, “this is our resident nurse Moira Jefferson and the lad here is Greg Franklin who is currently training here,” Logan explains but the only part I focus on is my name is Eric.

It doesn’t feel familiar at all.

“I’m sure you have many questions and many more worries, however, I assure you this is just a form of post-traumatic stress, your subconscious is just trying to protect you. I’m one hundred percent sure your memories will come back with time. But first, let's allow the nurses to get rid of the tubes.

After ten minutes I was free of them all, I’m surprised I didn’t notice them until now especially the ones in the more risque areas and I was changed out of what felt and looked like an apron. Soon I was talking to Logan once again while he pulled out my folder.

“You are a Corporal in the British Army, your name is Eric Forsyth. You were serving in Syria before getting injured by an RPG, you were ambushed and overrun. Do you remember anything?” He asked reading it all from my file without looking at me, he irked me immediately. Shouldn’t he read it then address me after?

“No,” I answer coldly, he sighs and closes the file.

“Okay, I’m going to have to put you onto rehabilitation in hospital, I recommend two years total. I’m sure your family will be happy to have you back awake and well.” He gets up from his chair and puts the file away, too many questions fill my head before I can begin to think about family. Do I have a lover? Kids? Brothers? Or Sisters? Am I adopted? Nothing from the Earth to the Sun could gauge the worry I have.

What the fuck happened?