The next day, not wanting anyone to get hurt, and taking no belongings--as I had none-- I got ready to travel. I got up before Heidi did and padded out of her house on silent feet. The sun was coming up, and the world was dyed an early morning bluish-yellow. I breathed in the fresh scent of spring flowers, and as the wind blew, I looked in the direction it blew in. 

Intrusive thoughts snaked their way into my head as I went. I wondered briefly how badly death hurt. I had signed death warrants, but never caused death. I thought about how scary it would be, to have your life in someone’s hands, someone you could not even see….

But I mustered my courage and started heading north, trying to shake such thoughts from my mind… but then I heard someone say, “Where are you going?” I looked back. 

It was Heidi. 

She’d thrown on a dress and didn’t bother with making herself presentable by brushing her hair.

“I have things to do. Thank you for your hospitality.” I started walking away from her.

“So after I took care of your sorry self for so long, you’re just going to leave without giving me a reason why?”

I frowned and I remembered our argument the previous day, thinking it would make a good excuse. “I can’t stay in the home of someone who dislikes me.”

She looked a little sad and opened her mouth to say something.  I knew she was about to apologize and ask me back, so I added hastily and truthfully, “and I must see someone in Mahesha – Death, my brother.”

“More God nonsense? So your brother is Death now?” She sighed like a mother listening to an elaborate lie told by a child.

“Yes. He’s killing people at an unnatural rate.” I ignored the hint of sarcasm in her voice.

“I’ll play along with your God premise for a moment. What’re you going to do about your brother? Ask him to stop killing people?”

“No. Everyone must die.” I repeated what I’d said to Katharos.

“Then why stop him?” She countered.

“Because he’s killing people without my warrants. He needs me to judge who should live and who should die before he takes a life.”

“So you get to decide when other people die?” She crossed her arms in disbelief.

I was growing tired of her again, so I decided not to continue on the conversation. I turned away from her and continued down the road without an answer.

Heidi caught up to me easily. She just walked beside me for a moment, and then spoke. “Joshua… I know I can be a pain, but I really didn’t mean what I said about you. I want to come. Besides, I want to find out whether you are a God or not.”

“I don’t want you to come. You will get hurt.” I said frankly.

“I don’t care… besides, I owe you, for helping me make as much money as I did. I don’t know what you did, but my garden was thriving for almost a month, and I made good money off of it. You may as well let me come.” She shrugged.

She only wanted to come, of course, because there really was nothing left for her in this place. Her beloved garden had died, her cruel father had died, and she was all alone in the world. Regardless of whether she liked me, I never wished her to be alone. 

I said with some difficulty. “You may come.”

She grinned. “I’ll go get my gold! Oh, and some proper clothes.”

I waited for her. I was chilled to the bone in this early morning weather. It was a sensation I was completely unfamiliar with, as Gods do not feel cold. I was being attacked by the Mortal Disease, as God’s called it. This was the worst disease to have.

I was slowly losing more and more of my powers by going amongst humans.