(Marked "M" for mentions of self harm.)
Devin struggled with his constant back and forth even harder in the following days. Going to Hunter's room that night was a huge lapse in judgement for him. Opening himself up to Hunter giving him more fuel to use against him at some point in time. Confirming his suspension about him even more so.
It was clear that Hunter didn’t care about what others may think of him that he wasn’t afraid of any backlash that may come from his actions. Something Devin personally just couldn’t take. The feelings he allowed himself to feel for him, the actions he took that night stayed with him, mind constantly replaying that night turning against him by taking it further than what had really happened between them.
Imagining what may have been if he just let himself go and just be, then his mind would lash out against him shamming himself for what he felt and did that night. Devin knew it was wrong and he tried to reinforce his bad thoughts with physical pain.
Pain was what kept his true needs at bay. Pain was what kept him in line. Recently that physical pain was taken to a new level, Hunter caused so many shake ups in Devin he couldn’t keep them under control anymore.
Even his drawings were becoming consumed with Hunter. Realistic drawings were his things like self portraits or natural landscapes, animals. It was something he’s always had a bit of a niche for slowly mastering on his own with pencil and paper wanting to take it a step further and turn it into works of art on people's bodies but felt it never could be good enough for something like that. Never being good enough was always his thing.
“Devin, Black Souls is playing at The Bronze tonight and you’re coming with me.” Spoke Smith.
Devin turning around in his chair, “You know I don’t like goth metal so I don’t want to go.”
He really didn’t want to be tempted by Hunter again.
“I wasn’t asking.”
“I’m not even feeling well as it is.”
Smith getting up from his seat, leaning against the front counter, “One night isn’t going to kill you and I’ll be nice and not make you drink with me.”
“Why can’t you just take Davey with you?"
"You know he’s got that new girl plus I want my brother to go feel like we haven’t hung out in a while just the two of us.”
Narrowing his look at Smith as the phone rang, picking it up finally giving Smith a nod halfway through the conversation saying he was in for the concert. He wasn’t lying about not feeling well, he had trouble sleeping at night his head hurting from the constant thinking he just wanted some peace and a concert didn’t sound peaceful to him.
Smith told him that he would swing by and pick him up so he wasn’t getting out of it. Devin found himself standing in front of the bathroom mirror contemplating what he was wearing for the night like it was going to make a difference if he pulled on a black button down over his usual black long sleeve shirt. Rolling the sleeves up so his inked showed; but not his fresh scars. Or that his hair was style up verse slicked back giving off more of a Mohawk vibe. Smith knocking at his door pulled him away saying fuck it as he grabbed his keys and wallet out of the glass dish by the door.
Questioning him once in the truck why Black Souls was even playing when they were due to be recording. Smith shrugging saying he really didn't know but wasn’t complaining. Maybe just their way of warming up for the real thing. Like one final practice.
The Bronze was in the heart of town near the tattoo shop; it was an old two story building that got closed down and reopened as a concert hall catering to anyone that came through. Smith and Devin who are of age got pink neon paper wristbands at the door anyone under twenty one got yellow and black sharpie X’s across the back of both hands. This wasn’t the first time either of them have been here; they've seen many bands come onto that stage. Smith quickly headed over to the bar getting himself a beer even being kind enough to get Devin one as well.
“It's just one beer.” Stated Smith passing it to him.
Devin not in the mood for fighting took it taking a long sip, “I’m gonna grab a smoke.”
Outside to the left they had a gated off area for the smokers, once you enter the building there wasn’t any reentry. Finding a spot against the wall, eyes watching as he followed suit with everyone else out there. It wasn’t long before he heard the music begin to play inside just about everyone put out their smoke and headed inside.
Devin took his time finishing his cigarette sipping on his beer as he headed in the vibrations of the music hitting his chest hard as he closed the door behind him. Smith found him first. His cup was still full assuming it was at a least his second one.
“Thankfully we only have to sit through one shit band before Hunter plays.” Smith yelled over the music.
He’s eyes looking past Devin caused him to turn around, of course it was some little blonde piece standing behind him. She picked up that Smith was checking her out, giving him a look than shaking her head no. Her and her friends giggling, which in return caused Devin to bust out laughing.
"Oh shut up, like you could do any better." Smith's tone sour as he downed his entire beer.
"I could if I choose too." Devin lied the little blonde had nothing he was interested in.
"You never seemed to choose too."
Devin felt a small panic sink in, "I'm sorry I'm not interested in the same type of people you're interested in."
"People," Laughed Smith, "Don't you mean women."
"I wouldn't consider her to be a woman." Spoke Devin motioning back to the blonde.
She was easily way too young for Smith, even Devin if it counted. Smith laughed shaking his head before motioning Devin to come on. Heading back to the bar he got himself his third beer buying Devin his second one. For most of the bands set they stood there chilling against the bar Smith throwing back beer like it was water, egging him on to drink more than he would like after promising not too. Neither one of them were paying attention to the music until they heard them sign off. Which came at the right moment cause Smith was just handed a fresh beer nodding to move closer to the stage.
Devin obliged it was the reason they were here anyway getting pretty close to the front as the lights dimmed down the drummer coming out first followed by bass and guitar, lights flashing back up as Hunter walked out in his usual eyeliner but taken it to a more extreme look blacking out a thick strip across his eyes and most of his forehead, the rest of the band members wore the same face paint.
Devin tried to not let it show but he was happy to see Hunter, heart skipping a beat when he winked at him from the stage. The girl in front of Devin squealed at the action thinking it was for her but Devin knew it was motioned towards him. Smith nudged him at the girl's reaction, then rolling his eyes. Hunter knew that Smith planned on asking Devin to come out tonight just wasn't sure if he would actually show or not.
"We're Black Souls and hope you are ready for an unforgettable ride to Hell." Roared Hunter over the mic, eyes making contact with Devin's once more before the music started to drum up in the background.
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