The next day was a work day, which should have been fine since I mostly like my job or at least don’t think it sucks the soul right out of me, but that day everything kept going wrong. We don’t do our own booking. It mostly goes through some third party website, and I guess no one saw it, or if they did they didn't care, because a bunch of rooms were double booked. The first one was fine. I moved them to a new a room, but it happened again, and it became apparent it was going to keep happening. I spent some time on hold but never got anywhere. Pete texted a few times that he missed me and some light hearted chit chat. I couldn’t even reply back.

Finally, I drew the short straw and got the person who was mad about the whole thing. He kept yelling and asking to speak to my manager. When my manager came out, the guy yelled at her for a while. There was nothing we could do but stand there trying to look sympathetic and apologize. At first I did feel bad for the guy, by the end of his tirade, I didn’t care if he ever slept indoors again. I think it was the first time I had ever wished homelessness on someone. The rest of my day didn’t improve. I burned my tongue on my coffee, and I missed my bus and had to wait in a cold drizzle for the next one. I was pretty sure it was the worst day ever.

On the bus, I texted Pete a few times. He sent back appropriate frowny faces and offered to chew on the guy who hurt my feelings. He also offered to come over to help me relax. I didn’t take him up on any of his offers. It wasn’t clear to me why. We had fun together. Even just texting him was fun. It made me feel calm, but I didn’t want him to come over. I didn’t want him near me. I wasn’t sure if the reason I didn’t want him around was because he made me feel so good I couldn't trust it.

After I got off the bus, I stopped off at the corner store. I didn’t buy food, just beer. When I was standing at my building door and looking for my keys, I changed my mind. I didn’t want to be alone. I didn’t want to be with Pete, and I didn't feel like seeing my friends for whatever reason. I’m sure most of them would have been happy to hang out. Hell, half the staff was probably in the hotel bar bitching about the scheduling problem. If they weren’t now, they would be soon, but I didn’t go there. I didn’t call anyone. Instead, I turned around and hailed a cab. When I got in, I gave them the address of Mike’s building. I didn’t call or anything. I just went.

The city was gray and brown. The trees were dead and brown and gray, wrapped in their winter jackets of cold, gray air. The people wrapped themselves up, too. It was all washed out in the streetlights until no color remained. I felt nothing, which wasn’t unusual, but I had expected I would at least be looking forward to seeing him. Instead, I was just empty inside.

The driver got to Mike’s building, and I almost asked him to wait, but then I felt stupid. If Mike was going to turn me away or wasn’t there, or whatever was about to happen, I didn’t want an audience. I could just get another cab. It would be easier in this neighborhood, anyway, since it was better off than where I lived. I called Mike on my cell phone. The guard watched me warily through the glass door, and I turned around to face the street so I wouldn't have to watch him watching me.

“Hello?” Mike sounded distracted and distant.

“Oh, um, hi, it’s me, Cora. From the other day? Or night I guess? I just dropped by to see if you wanted to like hang out or something.” I finished off lamely. What the fuck was wrong with me? Clearly, I was a moron.

“You’re downstairs? Right now?” he asked, still confused.

“Yeah, I have beer, but it sounds like you’re busy. I’ll just let you go,” I said, praying the ground would open up beneath me and swallow me whole. It didn’t oblige. Instead, I stayed there feeling stupid and embarrassed.

“No, it’s fine. I’m just working. Come up.”