The key to his apartment seemed to slide in more smoothly now that Smith had fixed his door or maybe it was just because it had actually already been unlocked when he turned it.
"Get out." Commented Devin as he spotted Hunter sitting on his sofa as he walked in.
Tossing the papers to the side with his key, hands pulling his sleeves down lower over his bandages. Embarrassed for Hunter to see him like he was.
"Devin." Pleaded Hunter as he stood up.
"I don't want you here."
He didn't want anyone in his apartment. Couldn't take seeing him at all, it was too much for him to deal with after just getting out of the hospital. Devin just wanted to be alone. He wanted to shower and sleep in his own bed without having someone check in on him every hour to make sure he hasn't harmed himself again.
"Look I didn't. . . " Hunter's tone irritated, but paused changing it to a more understanding softer one, "I didn't come by to start some shit or whatever. I just wanted to see you before I left."
He wanted to make sure he was okay at least as okay as he could be.
Running his hand through his curly dark hair, "Heading back home for a while. Gotta get my stuff in order before we start recording the album."
"Cool, bye."
Devin avoided his gaze as he passed him motioning to the door wanting Hunter out of his face. Guilt clung to Hunter as he stood there feeling like everything was his fault. He was to blame for Devin hurting himself. If he hadn't pushed so hard then maybe Devin would have been okay.
Maybe if he took Smith's warning the first day he met Devin a little more seriously this wouldn't have happened. Smith warned Hunter that Devin was a basket case when it came to his mental stability that not just anyone could go snooping and poking through, taking the bits they wanted.
"I'll text you." Commented Hunter as he moved to the door, "Stay well."
Devin held his breath the entire time Hunter was there. Afraid that if he moved in the slightest that he would just break down again, give into him. He couldn't handle seeing him. Not this soon after.
Not to say that he only hurt himself because of Hunter. He had nothing to do with the thoughts that ran through Devin's mind. They were there a long time before he ever stepped foot into his life.
* * * * * *
Devin did as he promised Smith he looked into the paperwork that was given to him. Setting up his first appointment the following week, the soonest spot the lady had opened for a new client. Seeking any kind of help was a huge step for him. Devin felt so awkward at the first meeting. Questioning why he even set up the appointment to begin with. He didn't really want to be there nor did he even know where to begin or what to talk about.
Fingers picking at his bandages the entire time. They didn't talk about anything overly important in his mind. Just the casual get to know you and see if it was going to be a good fit. Suggesting that he try to come at least twice a week for a while. Devin declined because he could barely afford the weekly visit as it was.
The topic of medication came up. A thing he hasn't been compliant about since he left the hospital. Explaining that he couldn't function on them. They made him feel like a zombie, that he only wanted to sleep. Which didn't seem right to him. If he was already depressed sleep wasn't the right answer.
She offered to change them up to something she felt was more suited for him and at a lower strength. Asking Devin to at least try them for a month and if he didn't feel any better to let her know and they would find something else for him. Explaining that it was all trail and error with things like this. Not one medication suited all.
In the moment he agreed to try them. Thinking he might as well if he was going to try this whole therapy thing out too. Not half ass the help he was getting but take it for all that it could be worth to him.
* * * * * *
Hunter did text Devin when he found a few moments of free time once he got back home to the UK. He had a lot more shit than he expected that he needed to get in order before he could move back to the US permanently. Packing all his things up and getting them shipped over, selling his place in the UK while looking for somewhere to live in the US that suited his needs just as well. Getting all his accounts transferred over. Among a million other little things.
Devin ignored every text that was sent to him by Hunter not to be a complete asshole but mostly because he was just so focused on himself and a little bit of being an asshole towards him.
Not wanting to push himself back in his recovery with misguided thoughts of him. Smith was really the only person he spoke to on a regular basis since his accident, the other's from the shop reached out to him as well. Just Devin didn't do his part to really reach back. Ash and Sunshine wanted to meet for lunch one day. Davey and Johnny wanted to get drinks. None of them seemed to be phased or care at all that he was gay. Still the melt down at work clung hard to him and he was ashamed of how he had acted.
Smith surprised him with dinner at least once a week. Caiming he was just in the neighborhood which they both knew was a lie. Devin telling him he didn't have to do all that just asking him how he was doing would get the same answer. Devin no longer lying to Smith about how he was feeling but still stunted on opening up to him.
Really trying his best to make the most out of therapy. Devin liked the woman and was starting to feel more comfortable being there talking to her but he still had a very long road before him. The medication his body was still getting adjusted too not causing him to feel so zonked out but also not like he was used to normally feeling which he guessed in this case was a good thing.
* * * * * *
Today marked a month and two weeks of him going to therapy. Devin having a little break through with his therapist as well, leaving the appointment on a bit of a high as he headed home.
Hunter rested against Devin's apartment door, knocking a few times to see he wasn't home. Pretty sure if he was he would have at least gotten a 'fuck you go away' then again maybe he had moved since the last time he saw him. Finding that thought to be reasonable with everything that had happened.
"Why are you here?" Questioned Devin as he walked towards his door. His heart skipping a beat at the site of Hunter.
He looked as good as ever to him, smelt even better as he went to his door, motioning him to move so he could unlock it.
"You wouldn't believe me if I said I missed you so let's go with a wellness check since you've seem to have forgotten how to text or call someone back."
Hunter was a little salty that Devin had been dodging him the entire time. He was honestly worried about him. Getting a few updates from Smith but those were only like 'he's good, seems better, today was a bad day' nothing of major detail for him.
"Well as you can see I'm fine still breathing so you can go." Devin smirked, glancing at Hunter as he stepped inside shutting the door on him.
Slumping back against the door as his heart raced. He wasn't expecting to see Hunter ever. A low knock coming from the other side of the door.
"Can we please just talk?"
Hunter sighed, "I really have missed you."
"Stop saying that."
"Well it's the truth."
"Truth or not, stop it."
He couldn't take the idea of Hunter actually missing him. His mind telling him it wasn't him that he missed but his body. The way he could make him feel but not really him because he didn't know the real him.
"Please." Hunter knocking on the door again.
"You have two minutes then I need you to leave I have things to do."
Devin gave in, opening the door hoping if he just let Hunter have his peace he would leave and not come back. Hunter perking up as Devin opened the door letting him in, a smile wide on his lips.
"Thank you." He spoke, pulling off his jacket placing it on the back of the armed chair in the living room.
"No need to get comfortable, you won't be here long."
Devin spoke his words rushed as he noticed his drawings were still laid out on the coffee table. He didn't collect them before leaving for work this morning. Not wanting to be late. His new boss was not as slack as Smith was.
Rushing to the table to gather them up before Hunter noticed. A few pieces sliding off the table without him noticing stuffing the rest back into the folder he kept them in.
"Damn!" Commented Hunter as he picked up the two drawings from the floor that got away.
They were clearly picture's of himself. Devin had drawn him and more than once. The pictures were so good, as if he was looking into a mirror. Very impressed even floored at how good the work was.
"Stop, those aren't meant to be looked at." Devin upset snatching the drawings from Hunter.
They weren't even finished yet. Devin didn't share his art with anyone. Least of all the man that his art seemed to be consumed by.
"Those are pretty fucking amazing, Devin." Hunter meaning it, " I didn't know you could do something like that."
"You don't know a lot about me."
Devin remarked putting the drawings away like he should have done before he left this morning.
"That's why I'm here, actually." Hunter, shifting his footing.
He was nervous, he was never nervous. This caught Devin's attention looking over at him. What was he nervous about?
"I was hoping to ask you out, like on a date, a real date."
Hunter runs his hand through his hair, his gaze leaving Devin. He wanted something more than just a hook up and fuck. He wanted to have a proper date with Devin.
"We don't have to go out anywhere if you're not comfortable with it . . or if going out is okay. I promise not to do anything you're not okay with. . . or maybe if you like it better I could just make you dinner or something. I actually got a pretty sweet set up at my new place."
Hunter realized he was starting to ramble on about anything that came to mind shutting himself up.
"You want a date?" Devin asks shocked, "You want a date? Date with me so you can get to know me."
"Yeah, yes. . . "
Devin quiet for a long moment, as he looked at Hunter. Pondering the thought hard, wondering if it would do him any good or not.
"If I say yes and I don't like it or truly don't want to see you again after it will you leave me alone for good?"
Hunter hurt at the words but nodded his head. He could only force himself on Devin but so much. He knew most would have gotten the picture at the unanswered text but he couldn't help that he was drawn to Devin. There was something about him that Hunter couldn't let go of.
"I'll do dinner, cooked by you. Friday at eight."
Devin figured might as well make him work for it. Also doing it in the privacy of their own place would have him at a better ease than being in the public eye. However that also meant he had to be strong and not buckle.
"And no funny business. No looks or gestures from you. No reading my mind. "
Hunter putting his hands up, "I can't help that I can read you but fine I get it and I can do that."
He could be a proper gentleman for the evening.
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