I was late arriving at the bar Ben picked out to celebrate. It was a dilapidated pool hall that we frequented. In recent years I stopped going with them as much. His friend, and professional volunteer fireman, slept above the fire station on main street. Adam Gravesend reeked of motor oil when I sat down. I gagged on the fumes.

“I love the smell of gasoline. Hell, I'd drink it if it wasn't so damn expensive, ha!” he cracked. He just came from the fire house after working on one of the engines.

The shiny, baboon red tattoo on Adam's arm did not go unnoticed, deliberately. The rolled up sleeve released a bicep big enough to be the crimson Ladder 33 itself. The tattoo was a gigantic cross in black ink. The newest addition to the high school notebook of constellations was wedged between the Skull with Rose Formation and the Hair Metal Cluster with barely any room left for itself. It was getting harder and harder for me to come up with excuses not to design one for him, but he kept asking. He really enjoys pictures for being such an art brute. This crux was so fresh  I imagined it was made that very day.

His girlfriend, Su, was already there with her friend Beth. Born 'Mary Suzuki', she goes by 'Su'. Beth Dell likes being called anything and enjoys any kind of attention.

“Congratulations Ben, you deserve it.” Su remarked.

I assume he passed the exam after all. Good for him. But I hesitated to speak up and was beaten by Adam.

“Yea, you little bookworm. Maybe now you can finally come to the gym with me ya Melvin.” Adam boasted, slapping him on the back. “Throw those books on the fire, get some more use out of them.”

“Thanks.” Ben squeaked.

Su looked over her makeup case to give her boyfriend a look of disapproval.

“Seriously though,” he added. “Good work.”

“Yea, I don't even know what an Actuary does!” Beth said confidently.

“Maybe I could go to the gym now, take a break.” Ben relented.

“Cool. I need to go, like now. Haven't been since Monday.” Adam drawled in his adopted southern accent. “I'm down two pounds this morning. I need to push more to make it to two hundred by the end of the month.”

“Aren't you big enough?” Su asks, affectionately wrapping one of his arms with both of hers.

“Can never be too big.” Adam laughs.“I'm saving up for my next tattoo, going all out. I want to fill my back with a green eagle ripping the American flag. And I want you to design it for me.” he declared.

“Oh, okay.” I sighed.

“It won't be for a while but it's gonna be great. The eagle will be lucky and get our team to win it all next year. But it still represents the strength of the US, get it?” he explained.

“The team needs all the help they can get.” Ben joked.

“Let me tell you, if I was on that team things would be different.” Adam said.

“But you're not.” Beth chimed in.

“If I didn't get injured in high school I would be an all star.” he lamented.

Su turned to me in the middle of this argument and asked about me. My eyes wandered down to Adam’s waist. He opened carried everywhere he went and sometimes I forgot it was there. There is no way he takes that into burning buildings I thought.

“How was your day? You were probably getting ready for the beach this weekend.” Su said.

“Yea. The old folks home is alright, but I'm definitely excited for the beach.” I responded.

I forgot we were all going on a trip this weekend, the days were blending together. The fresh air and sun should help me relax.

“You still work in that death trap?” Adam followed me into the conversation. “You know there's no smoke detectors in the lobby? I saw that right away when Ben and I picked you up that one time.” he said.

“Yea I know, it's pretty bad. Especially when he chains the door.” I said.

“What? Do you know how illegal that is? If I was there I'd tear down that door and start pulling out geezers two at a time!” He said loudly.

He compared carrying old folks to his football days. Lead running back would be the dream, on the Los Alamos Savages because they are the toughest guys in the league. I didn't understand how they were the toughest guys when the week before his most hated team traded half their players to the Savages.

Adam could have been described with a scientific title like the old road runner cartoons. Freeze frame on his stiff arming gestures: “Homo Homo- Manly Man”. He always had to show off. He says he is always right, which means he's wrong about at least two things. He always talks about football and how he would 'literally' tunnel right through a guy if he had to.

Su: “Femme Fatale- Seductress”. She took out her mirror again and tossed her hair with her hand. Adam wanted to be so gargantuan that people had no choice but to notice him. Su took the refined approach and went for beauty. Then there was Beth: “Tabula Rasa- Blank Slate”.

“So anyway,” Adam said. “Let's all go back to the firehouse to hang out. They got a new ping pong table set up.”

I snapped out of my trance and joined the conversation again.

“I don't even know how to play ping-pong!” Beth said with a  self deprecating laugh.

“It's easy. You just throw the ball in a cup and drink!”

“That sounds like fun. Maybe I'll just watch.” Ben responded.

Ben: “Colossus Straddelus” stood between two worlds. Sometimes I wanted to call him out on still being friends with people like Adam and me at the same time, but committing to neither side. He refused to take a stance on either of us and ended up doing nothing. Ben's stance was an ever widening straddle between the mainland and men that were islands.

“I think I'm just going to stay in for the night. I was going to rent that new animated movie that just came out.” I told Ben.

“You mean that cartoon?” Ben griped, looking as if he had smelled something unpleasant.

“I hate Disney.” Adam added.

“It’s PIXAR, actually.” I said.

“Ariel is my favorite princess!” Su interrupted. 

“Mine too!” Beth agreed.

“Yeah, princesses aren’t for me.” Ben concluded.

None of this was for me.