“I’ll be able to stay with her,” I informed the doctor once a decision was made.
“Perfect, thank you. Let me know when you’re ready.” He walked off and left us alone again.
“Can I go to the toilet over there?” She asked, “By myself.” She cut in before I suggested to come with her. I forget how independent she has become for her age.
“S-Sure.” Yasmina smiled and skipped to the bathroom. She was happy now, knowing Mom was OK. That just left the two of us alone soon.
“Thank you, Sebastian. I don’t know what I would do without you. I owe you.” Sebastian shook his head.
“You don’t owe me anything. Don’t be stupid, Nathan.” Sebastian’s answer made me raise an eyebrow.
“Nathan?” Sebastian slowly smiled.
“Yeah, it’s cute. I want to call you that too.”
“Please, don’t.” I groaned and rubbed my head. Sebastian laughed.
“So, what are you going to do about your mother?” Sebastian asked after his teasing died down.
“I don’t know.”
“Have you ever considered referring her to rehab?” Sebastian suggested.
“Do you know how much that costs?”
“I pay you well. You can easily afford that.” It’s true. Ever since I started working for him, I had made three times more cash than I ever did than when I was with T and the crew. They would be jealous if they saw how much money I had stashed away. I’ve been working so hard to save it all. I didn’t want it all to disappear over Mom’s stupid decisions.
“Why should I pay for it?”
“What do you mean?” Sebastian frowned. He has a perfect life. He doesn’t understand what it’s like for people like me. Why was this any of his business to begin with?
“It’s her fault that this happened. She put herself in this situation, and now I have to clean up her mess again? I’m sick of it.” Just thinking about how she has behaved all these years. Such disregard in her parenting, responsibilities, and dragging Yasmina and I through all of it. I almost hated her for it.
“Nathaniel, she’s your mother. You should treat her with more respect.” That comment pissed me off more than anything. I grabbed Sebastian’s collar.
“You don’t know my mother. You don’t know anything about us. She hasn’t been our Mom for five fucking years!” I hissed. Sebastian shrugged me off and stood up.
“Stop it! I’m not allowing you to abandon her like this. She needs you and Yasmina more than ever, right now. She needs professional help and you’re the only one that can provide it. You can save her.” Sebastian argued back.
“Don’t get involved in this! Who the hell do you think you are? What do you know about helping people? You’re nothing but a drug dealer. It’s your fault stuff like this even happens in the first place!” I roared. Staff and visitors alike were staring at us. Sebastian didn’t argue back. Instead, he walked away from me. I didn’t mean to say all that. I didn’t want to take this out on him. Look at me. Now I’m blaming Sebastian, who had nothing to do with this. He was just trying to help. Yasmina got out of the bathroom and realised the change in the atmosphere.
“What happened?” Sebastian walked back towards us. He averted his gaze when our eyes met.
“We should go back to my place. You have school tomorrow, right?” He suggested to Yasmina, ignoring me. Yasmina nodded and made no hesitation in holding his hand.
“See you later, Nathan. Tell Mom I said hi and I hope she’s OK.”
“I will. Make sure you behave and listen to him.” I kissed her on the forehead.
“Yep! Let’s go!” Yasmina squealed, dragging Sebastian away. Yasmina was not scared anymore around him. I’m glad. He was making the situation better for us, especially for Yasmina. Being positive about the situation, offering support to help me out without expecting anything in return. Then I go and say it’s his fault that Mom is in the hospital.
I’m such an idiot.
He didn’t deserve to hear that. It was no one’s fault, but Mom’s. However, he was right. The more I think about it, the more I need to give Mom a chance. I had to help her overcome her addiction. She’s the only family I have here, and Yasmina loves her dearly. It would be wrong to abandon her. Yasmina would never forgive me for it.
I informed the doctor that I was ready to see my Mom, who was now conscious. I walked into her room and saw her resting her eyes. Seeing her hooked up to the machinery made my heart clench. I quietly sat down next to her and held her hand. It was dry and cold, but it made me want to hold on tighter. Before I knew it, I felt tears run down my eyes. It started when I imagined a funeral, one I was never prepared to organise for her.
I don’t want her to die.
“Nathaniel…” She slowly whispered, “I’m so sorry…so, so sorry.” I could hear her voice crack and tears forming in her eyes when she opened them slowly and looked at me. For the first time in years, I was looking at my Mom sober and clean. My real Mom, “I was selfish, I never thought about my children. I don’t ever want to put you and Yasmina through this ever again.”
“Mom…it’s OK.” I could hear my voice shake.
“Nathaniel, you’re an amazing young man. You have done so much to look after your sister and me. I’m so proud of you, being able to tolerate all of these stupid problems of mine.” She whispered. I grabbed some tissues and wiped the tears from her eyes, she weakly laughed, “Your face is completely soaked too, honey.”
“I know.” I laughed too. I have never cried this much before.
“Tell me, Nathaniel. What can I do to make you forgive me, to make things right again? I don’t want to be like this anymore.” When she said that, I remembered what Sebastian suggested. It was the best option for her. It was going to be tough to pay for. A huge blow to my savings. However, I know it will be worth the money.
“Go to rehab. I think that will be the best place for you, right now.” I finally suggested it. Mom’s eyes widened in surprise.
“How can we afford it?”
“Don’t worry about the money, Mom. I’ll sort it. Right now, you just need to get professional help. When you discharge, we will start a new life. Away from Granton, drugs, and crime, I promise.” When I said that, Mom smiled and weakly ruffled my hair.
“OK, if that’s what it takes to make things right. I’ll go to rehab.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, kissing her lightly on the forehead. I wiped away my own tears and just sat with her for a while. We talked about everything, anything to fix our relationship.
I admit I have made mistakes. I never should have hit her. I never should have talked down to her and shut her away from us. I should have intervened with her drug addiction before it got to this stage. Sebastian was right, she is my mother. She raised us alone, carried the burden alone, and lost her way to drugs. Things are different now. I was ready to help her, and she is ready and willing to work through this too. Soon, we’ll finally be ready to move on.
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