Aiden and I sit together by the river, the Ghost Office at our backs. Our connection is open, keeping me warm. It feels like Aiden is holding me with his whole body, even though we’re just holding hands.
He’s accessing that deep focus he sometimes finds when we’re like this. I can feel it, too, and I lean into it, let it close over my head. I float effortlessly in the peaceful ocean of Aiden’s calm. I can almost hear the gentle push and flow of the waves.
I could sit like this with you forever, Aiden says softly, right into my mind.
You know, I was just thinking the same thing.
Without moving his fingers, he squeezes my hand. Jamie… I don’t know how I could do this without you.
Why would you ever have to do this without me?
I feel the effect of this statement on Aiden, though our connection. The way it kicks up his heartbeat.
You’re not going anywhere? You’re not - overwhelmed by everything I said to you, or…?
I mean, I am overwhelmed, but in a very nice way. And no, I’m not going anywhere. Nobody could keep me away from you.
Aiden smiles with his whole body. It feels beautiful, and it makes my heart skip.
His energy travels down my arm, to my fingertips. He comes to the ring on my right hand and circles around it, curious.
You like this, don’t you? I haven’t seen you go a day without wearing it since the heist.
Aiden, stay focused. You’re in a good place right now, I can feel it. You can do it. Turn the jar. You won’t explode anything.
I think I may be too focused, he says. Too focused on the jar. You know how it helps when you talk, sometimes?
Yeah?
Talk. Please.
I do, speaking quietly into his head about nothing in particular until I feel a shift, some rearranging of energy. Not in a crashing, explosive way. A very soft tug, like Aiden is only pulling with one finger. Like his calm, his happiness is smoothing out the movement.
We both open our eyes and look down.
The jar hasn’t turned, but - it was empty before, and now, it’s full of brilliant golden light. Captured sunshine, pooled up in the glass like something you could drink.
Fascinated, I touch my fingers to the jar. It's warm, despite the cold air.
Aiden releases my fingers, closing the connection. The light spills out, directly through the glass, and dissipates.
“Fuck,” Aiden sighs. “I really thought, that time… That was different, though, the light in there like that. I’ve never done-”
“Aiden. The jar didn’t explode.”
He stops, then looks down at it again, his eyebrows furrowing. There’s not even a crack in the glass.
“No, it didn’t,” he realizes. “It didn’t explode.”
We stare at each other, then burst into dazed laughter. There’s a look of disbelief on Aiden’s face, and even though I’m amazed, I know there isn’t one on mine. I always knew he could do it.
If he can change something this small without destroying it - change it for the better, gently warming it and filling it up with light - then soon...
Soon.
~~~~
“Do you need help with that, Noah?” I ask.
He waves a tattooed hand, shooing me off. “I’ve got it.”
He’s slicing up an orange. I’m sitting at Raj and Melanie’s kitchen counter, watching him.
“I’ve never seen you eat a piece of fruit,” I tell him. “This is so suspicious.”
Noah points the knife at me. “Lay off with the questions, dude.”
“Put that down, Noosh.” Aiden, who is standing behind me, winds an arm around my shoulders. “You’re gonna hurt yourself. Or you’re gonna hurt Jamie.”
“Which is the equivalent of hurting myself,” Noah grumbles. “Because I’m pretty sure you’d end my life if I did that, Aiden.”
“Oh, would I?” Aiden asks, very calmly.
Noah takes one look at his expression and blanches.
“Jesus! It's actually scarier when you say it like that than it would be if you’d screamed it in my face.”
“What’s the plan?” I rub my eyes sleepily, still waiting for the caffeine to kick in. “Where’s Raj? It was his idea for us to all get up this early, wasn’t it?”
“We need an early start,” Noah explains, “If we’re gonna paint all the walls at the exhibition space today. And relax, Raj will be down soon. We’re still on schedule.”
“Where’s Mellie?” Aiden asks, stealing a blueberry from the little pile of fruit Noah is accumulating on his cutting board.
“She’s not coming with us, she’s got an event today.” Noah checks his watch. “She’ll come down soon, too.”
He opens a cabinet, then pulls out a water bottle. It’s the kind with an infuser in the middle, and Noah starts carefully filling it up with oranges and blueberries. Aiden and I exchange a puzzled glance.
“You on a health kick or something?” Aiden asks. “Because you know, I wasn’t joking, I am looking for a gym buddy.”
“What?” Noah looks up. "Oh. No, Raj is just running a little behind, so I thought I'd help out with-"
He breaks off as Melanie descends the stairs in a pretty maroon dress. She comes around the counter to stand at Noah’s side, her fingers busy finishing up her french braid.
“Morning, everyone," she yawns.
“I have no fucking idea how you do that,” Noah says, nodding to her braid. Melanie takes a strand of Noah’s black hair in her fingers, looking at it thoughtfully.
“I bet I could do yours, Noah. It’s long enough.”
Without answering, Noah turns hastily away. He goes to the freezer and starts adding ice cubes to the water bottle.
“Excited for the event today, Mellie?” Aiden asks.
“Honestly, no.” Melanie makes a pained face. “This one has so many people coming. I like intimate events better. They’re more chill, easier to clean up. Fewer security deposits lost.”
“I’m sure it’ll be great, though.” Noah twists the lid onto the water bottle, sealing it up. “I mean, if you set it up, it will be.”
“Thanks, sweet thing.” Melanie shoots him a smile. She puts a swipe of chapstick on her lips, tucks it back into her purse, and picks up her keys. “Anyways, I’d better get going. Let’s see, do I have everything? Oh - my water bottle.”
“I’ve got it.” Noah holds out the fruit-infused glass bottle.
“Mmm, thank you,” Melanie says. She takes it, then leans up and plants a kiss on his mouth.
It’s about one second long, over before Noah can react in any way. My eyebrows shoot up, and I twist to catch Aiden’s eye. He’s wearing a startled expression to match mine.
But no one looks as flat-out stunned as Noah.
Melanie gets about three steps out of the kitchen, stops, and whips around.
“Oh my god!” she giggles, her cheeks turning pink. “Oh, Noah - I’m so sorry! It’s - normally Raj makes this for me in the mornings! I’m on autopilot, I guess.”
“It’s - fine,” he answers, before she can even get the last word out. His grey eyes are still very wide.
“God, does pregnancy make you a space-case,” Melanie groans. “You’d think feeling the piercing would have tipped me off!”
Noah touches his fingers to his lip piercing, then gives a start as Raj clumsily thumps his way down the stairs, half-asleep. All the color vanishes from Noah’s face, making the tattoos there seem darker.
“Raj!” Melanie calls. “I just flat out kissed Noah, by accident. This is what happens when you’re forced to quit caffeine but you still have to get up this early.”
“Did you really?” Raj lets out a warm laugh, then goes to the counter and stands by Noah. “What, man, M gets a good morning kiss, but I don't?”
Noah swallows, then laughs, too. But it’s a weird, dry laugh, not like the ones he usually shares with Raj. It sounds like he has something stuck in his throat. He fumbles in his pockets, comes up with an elastic, and starts gathering his hair into a bun.
Raj nudges Noah’s side with his elbow. “Hey, you alright?”
“I think I just took him by surprise.” Melanie isn’t laughing anymore; now she looks concerned. She comes back to the kitchen and puts a hand on Noah’s arm. “I’m really sorry, Noah! Honestly, I didn’t even think about it, I was-”
“You’re totally fine.” He shrugs her off, then turns and opens the fridge, staring inside. “It's fine.”
“Oh, okay.” Melanie nibbles her lip, then pauses. “Wait a minute. Does this mean I’ve kissed every man currently in this kitchen?”
“Nope.” I raise my hand. “I’m all good, though.”
Melanie laughs, and so does Raj.
“Damn, M.” He gives her braid a playful tug. “You’ve got more game than the rest of us combined.”
“Ripley has the most game out of anyone in this group, actually,” Melanie says, a knowing look on her face. “Anyways, I should go.” She gives Raj a kiss, then gently sets a hand on Noah’s back. He doesn’t turn around. “See you all later.”
“Good luck with the event!” Raj calls, just before she closes the door. He turns to us, one eyebrow raised. “Anyone know what she meant about Ripples, just now?”
“Yeah, what was that about?” Noah finally closes the fridge, emerging with an energy drink in a black can. He reaches over to grab a bag of chips from the counter. Flaming red letters across the front spell out the brand name: SCORPION BITE. “Do I have time to eat breakfast before we go?”
“That’s your breakfast, dude?” Aiden stares at him, disbelieving.
“Now you see why I was confused about the fruit,” I say, under my breath.
“Sure, we have time,” Raj tells Noah. “I’ll go get changed. I left everything we need by the back door. You guys get started loading the car, I’ll be back in five.”
Raj heads upstairs, and Aiden straightens up, stretching his arms over his head. He pauses, watching Noah, then glances at me.
“You know what?” he says. “I’ve got it. You guys just chill. Eat your breakfast, Noosh. If you want to call it that.”
Aiden slips off towards the back of the house. I sit there for a moment, uncertain. I haven’t seen Noah so thoroughly thrown off since he turned up at my apartment with a black eye and his thumb sitting wrong.
“Are you okay, man?”
“I’m… yeah. I’m fine. Tired.” Noah runs a hand over his face, then blurts out, “Can you just give me a second, I need a second to-” He waves a hand as I start to get up. “No, stay, just - give me a second.”
I give him a few seconds, then try again.
“Why are you stonewalling me, Noah? You’re clearly not fine, so what’s the matter with you? Is it - do you feel bad about what just happened? Because Raj doesn’t seem upset, and it wasn’t your fault, not at all.”
Noah touches his fingers to his lip piercing again, then lowers his hand.
“Raj and I, we built this.” He nods down at the kitchen counter. “We built it, we made it together.”
I look at the counter, then back up at him, completely lost. “Okay…?”
Noah presses his palms to the countertop, then leans into them. He never finished getting his hair into a bun, and it swings forward into his face, hiding his expression.
A minute or so passes like this.
Eventually, I open my mouth to say something. Before I can, Noah looks up, and his usual lazy smile is back, like nothing ever happened.
“Sorry." Even his voice is relaxed again. “Ignore me. I’m just tired. Been working too hard.”
Raj jogs back down the stairs. “Ready to-? Noah, you didn’t even eat!”
Aiden arrives at the same time, the sleeves of his crewneck pushed up to his elbows.
“Everything’s in the car. Changed your mind about the chips, Noosh? Probably for the best. I don’t know what’s in these, but going off the name, I assume it’s something that could put a person in the hospital.”
“It’s about shape, Aiden,” Noah explains, tugging the bag open. He pulls out a chip, revealing that it’s rolled up into a little tube. “Aerodynamics. These are perfect for throwing. Raj and I are gonna school you bitches. Here, dude, show them.”
Raj grins, then takes the chip from Noah and backs about ten feet away. “Ready?”
“Throw it, my guy.”
Raj does, and Noah tries to catch it in his mouth. It misses, smacks into his cheek, and tumbles to the floor, leaving a single red stripe of cheese dust on Noah’s face.
“Wow, that was overwhelmingly awesome,” Aiden says, fighting back a laugh. “We stand corrected.”
“Yeah, simply outstanding,” I add. “You guys should audition for America’s Got Talent.”
“We’re normally better than this!” Raj insists. “Noah, you’re off your game! Get a better mouth, why don’t you?”
“Get a better throwing arm, how about that! Here, do it again, I’ve got it this time!”
Raj hurls another chip right as the front door opens. Melanie steps back inside just in time to see the chip bounce off of Noah’s face.
“Hey, I-” She stops in the doorway, taking in the scene. “Um.”
“Hey, baby!” Raj calls. “Did you forget something?”
“No, I just-” She looks upset, and she’s fidgeting with her car keys. “Noah, I’m really sorry. I feel so bad about - you seem so-”
“Mel.” He cuts her off, laughing. “You’re fine. And I’m fine. Just wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.” He grins, then holds up the bag. “You think you can catch one of these in your mouth? Someone else throw it, though, Raj is awful at it.” He gestures to the stripe of red powder on his cheek. “Here’s the evidence.”
Relief spreads over Melanie’s face, and she smiles. “Are those the scorpion chips, or whatever?”
“Yep.”
“Then no, no thank you. Pretty sure eating even one of those could induce labor, and I have an event to work tonight. Actually - what the fuck?” Melanie quirks an eyebrow. “Aren’t you all supposed to be painting the exhibition space right now? I’m gone for two minutes and I come back to find you guys standing around throwing chips at each other?”
“I was trying to prove a point!” Noah objects, then hesitates, frowning. “Although - now I don’t remember what it was.”
“You know what?” Aiden takes the chips from Noah, his expression thoughtful. “Weirdly enough, I kind of want to try one, I think?”
“Okay!” Melanie cuts in. “To the exhibition space, right now. All of you, let’s go.”
“Hey, you’re not the boss of us!” Aiden calls back.
“Oh, no?” Melanie steps inside and fixes everyone in the kitchen with a stern stare. “Ten.”
“Ten?” I ask.
“Nine,” she continues.
“Oh, I get it, a countdown.” Noah shakes his head at her. “That won’t work on us. We’re grown men, not children.”
“Eight. Seven.”
We all sort of exchange a nervous glance with each other.
“Six.”
“Well, I’m not moving,” Aiden says, crossing his arms.
“Me, neither,” Noah puts in.
I cross my arms, too. “Yeah, it’s like Noah said, we’re not children.”
“Five. Four. Three.”
“Shit!” Raj suddenly yells, and, as if someone just fired a starter pistol, we all begin scrambling for the back door at once.
Aiden is the fastest, and therefore ends up leading the charge.
“That was cutting it way too close!” He shoves the door open, and we all spill outside. “We were on three! Three!”
I dart around to the far side of the car. “Raj, what happens on one?”
“I have no idea, man,” Raj says, frantically searching his pockets for the keys. “You really think I’ve ever made it to one?”
We all get inside, struggling to get our breaths back, then set off to pick up Ripley. We immediately fall into a loud argument about who exactly broke and started running first. On the surface, everything feels back to normal.
But in the mirror, I catch Noah’s smile slipping away, the moment no one’s watching him.
I sit back in my seat, starting to wonder.
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