It took some time after walking around the first floor of the house for me to realize she wasn’t anywhere inside, and it wasn’t until I slid outside into the brisk, evening air that I saw her standing next to one of the large trees closest to our home. She noticed me immediately as I walked towards her, and she smiled softly as she gently laid a hand on my shoulder as a greeting.

“Hey, Mom. If this is about that medal--”

“Good evening, Evelyn,” she interrupted. “I was hoping we could take a walk together for some reconnaissance.”

The way she cut me off took me aback -- it was a great deal kinder than I had expected. I mean, my mother wasn’t some totalitarian figure and had never once yelled at me without my having deserved it, but from the way Axel had spoken, I’d expected her to be far angrier than she seemed to be. I wasn’t sure how to go about answering her, so I ended up just frowning, my mind full of confusion and concern for my situation.

Once she saw my hesitance, her smile stiffened somewhat. “Let’s walk and talk.”

I didn’t even have the space to think or consider her reaction in my rush to keep up with her. Her gait was long, but brisk, what with her legs being a bit longer than mine. I didn’t typically mind being shorter, but times like these made me feel smaller both in mind and body.

Looking up at my mom from behind, it wasn’t difficult to see the heavy burden she wielded on her shoulders. She was the one all of our village people looked towards for guidance and help, and it might have been because of that deep sense of responsibility that she raised my brother and I with such a firm hand. I tended to forget her love for us because of how strict she always was -- she always wanted perfection, expected it even. Being the child of the matriarch was bad enough, but then came the seer with his prophesied foretelling that I was the “Holy One”, a child who would be able to use the medallion to seal away the curse of the veritas and bring about a fortuitous future for all humankind.

The biggest problem with that, I mused as I continued following my mother, was that I had no idea of how to use its power.

I’ve taken it into battle before, but nearly lost it more times than I could count, and if that was all that would possibly happen with it, then the better option was to leave it in a safe place where no one could really access it. But, that was a problem in and of itself, apparently.

“Hey, Mom, about that medallion…”

She barely turned her head enough to look back at me briefly before looking forward again. “Keep an eye out while we’re out here near the farmland. You may have killed off the summa, but they may just cut their losses and figure out a different plan of attack.”

“What?” I asked, bewildered. “A-are you trying to ignore what I said?”

She didn’t look at me at all. “Don’t get lazy. People’s lives are in our hands.”

When she walked away from me without another word, I just stood there with my mouth agape.

What just happened?

Was I more perturbed that she had flat out ignored me, or that I felt a wave of crushing disappointment even though I was used to her coarseness? I was getting strange vibes from her -- she seemed so gentle and kind not even ten minutes ago, but like a bolt of lightning, she suddenly switched to how I remember her while growing up: strict, impatient, irritable.

It left me...wanting.

I felt my feet move before I could stop to reconsider, my mind and eyes focused on the flowing, fiery-red mane of my mother as a breeze swept it up slightly. The further she marched, the further our gap seemed to develop, and the emptiness threatened to envelop my entire being. My hand reached out for her, the desperation of my childhood coupling with my need to come clean for my actions. When my fingers grasped her thin coat, I wasn’t sure who was more surprised by the connection: her, with her round emerald-green eyes, or me, my heart thumping harder than I’d ever thought it could.

She regained her composure far sooner than I did. “Evelyn? What in the world…?”

“I’m sorry!” I burst out quickly before realizing where we were and what I was doing. I hastily withdrew my hand from her. “...Sorry.”

Her eyes narrowed, her body turning to face me completely where we stood out in the middle of the fields. She saw me take a step back as I bowed my head in a deference that might have come a little too late.

“What are you sorry for?” she asked, her voice quiet and tone indistinguishable. “What are you apologizing to me about?”

“The medallion,” I ended up mumbling. “Axel said you were upset… Mad? He said you weren’t happy that I left it at home?”

“Are you asking me, or telling me?” she inquired. I was too nervous to try to see her expression.

I couldn’t really answer anyway. I always felt nervous under her gaze, like I wasn’t good enough or something.

I heard her start to say something, but nothing but silence prevailed. I chanced a glance and, oddly, felt my heart leaden more when I saw she wasn’t even looking at me. Full of shame, my hand rubbed against my chest, as if to rid myself of the pang of hurt I’d felt.

“That medallion,” my mom began softly, “is supposed to keep you safe.”

“But I don’t understand how!” I exclaimed. “I don’t get it! I took it into battle, I wore it, I tried using it, but nothing worked. It didn’t react to anything, and it feels like I’m just going to lose it! I thought leaving it at home would be safer, because maybe it would be safe, or maybe others would be safe. You never taught me how to use it!”

“I don’t know how!” she yelled back, her temper flaring in a way I had never before seen in my life.

I saw her stiffen when I took a step back unconsciously, unable to hide my concern at first sight of her anger. Something wisped across her features -- an expression I couldn’t put words to. It came and went so fast, I wasn’t sure I had even seen it. I watched as her fists tightened and she turned her away.

“I never figured it out,” she whispered, barely loud enough for me to hear. “And neither did my mother, or hers, or anyone we know. It’s just been a family heirloom that’s been passed down through the generations with no real purpose, and then suddenly, the seer pops up and says it’s meant to keep my daughter safe? I was supposed to rely on something I couldn’t understand to keep my family safe?”

I grew angry without provocation. “Then why are you expecting me to have all the answers? I don’t know what I’m doing! You treated Axel like he was the northern star, but I always felt like I was never good enough. You didn’t understand something, so you took it out on me?”

A flash of her own anger crossed her expression before it died away. “I just wanted you safe. If I couldn’t count on a piece of jewelry, then I had to count on you protecting yourself.”

I frowned, looking down at the ground. “Then why were you so mad about the medallion?”

She smiled wryly, walking towards me slowly and placing a hand against my cheek. “If you really are this ‘Holy One’, then it’s just another reminder that your mother won’t be the one keeping her sweet child safe. I just want you to stay safe, however you can.”

“Can I really do this though?” I asked her, as if she would have all of the answers.

Her fingers slid against my hair as her forehead touched mine.

We stayed like that for a short while, with this being more contact that I’ve had with her than many years past. As we parted, she gave me a smile full of remorse and feigned bravery.

“Let’s go,” she told me quietly.

It wasn’t until later that night that I realized she had never answered my question.