Happy birthday!! Hope you’re doing well, my 6eme is awful. I have friends but I miss Holland. I’m going to France during the holidays, I hate it here. I’m so happy, maybe we’ll see each other again.
“Hey, you haven’t answered for 2 weeks, is there a problem?”
“Mike, please answer me. I know maybe it’s ‘cause of my illness, but I need you to respond. You’re one of the last persons whom I keep contact with, I don’t wanna lose all my friends.”
“Really, tell me if something’s not ok. Maybe I’ve said something bad. Please.”
“Mike… don’t leave me. I… think… I’m in love with you. From the start. I just didn’t understand at first, but now I’m sure, Chris was only… I dunno, a mistake. It’s so long to explain. Please answer me, say something.”
I’ve read these mails thousands of times. Why isn’t he responding? Oh, my god, I’ve fooled everybody ‘til the beginning. I should have seen, known, understood. How I was shy, laughed when I saw him. How I talked to him. But no, I said I loved Chris, even if down deep I knew it was a lie. Distance just makes it evident. Sometimes something is so evident, we don’t see it.
Love, hope. Are all emotions tricking us?
Cry, cry until you don’t have any more tears. You’re strong. You’ll fight a world that doesn’t want you. You’ll see him in real one last time.
One thing costs me more than a million. More than millions of billions.