The next morning, Cast, Simon and I made the trip down to the Library to find Travis, descending the six flights with an urgency that had people moving out of our way.
The encounter with aunt Zolona was worrying and if Travis couldn’t shine any light on this then I would be left with only two options.
One, I tried to research on my own like I told everyone I wouldn’t do. Or two I questioned Zolona herself. And that option for some reason made my skin crawl. Something about the way she reacted was… concerning at best and alarming at most.
But I needed answers. Needed to stop being hidden in the dark. Stop having people think they knew what was best for me, because if they thought I couldn’t handle it they could have the throne.
The thought sobered my growing anger. Mother and father wouldn’t like me just handing over the throne or at least mother wouldn’t….
Simon opened one of the massive doors and we walked in.
One of the Scholars looked over from the nearby shelf he was shelving. Scholar Macbeth, if I remembered correctly.
“My future King,” He said with a deep bow. “How can I be of service?”
“I need to speak with Head Scholar Travis.”
Scholar Macbeth frowned, shuffling his bare feet. “I… I do apologise but The Head Scholar isn’t here.-”
“What?” I said shrilly, my voice echoing back on us.
“Y-yes, he left early or rather late last night, following something.”
“Something? He didn’t tell you?”
“No, my future King. He packed then left, barely an hour and he was gone.”
Grumbling I started pacing. This can’t be happening! I needed him and he was just gone!
“Did he say when he’d be back?” I heard Cast ask.
“Or even where he went?” Simon added in.
“I’m afraid it’s a no to both. Head Scholar said nothing just that he’d be away for a while, if not until your coronation my future King.”
“But that’s- that’s weeks from now.” I said weakly.
Scholar Macbeth ducked his head. “I am sorry, um… I could take a note for you or I can send him to you the second he returns.”
“Yes… please do, but I’ll just wait on his return, the matter is... personal.”
“Of course, my future King. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
Was there? I had every scroll and recorded of Demi, even from the Locked Wing. “No, thank you for your time.”
He bowed as we left.
Halfway up the stairs I stopped leaning against the root railing.
“Maki?” Cast asked softly. “Are you alright?”
“No, I thought Travis would be able to shed some light on things like when Zolona comes in contact with me it hurts or what she-”
“She hurts you?” Simon demanded.
I waved him off. “Not like that. It’s only when she touches me, doesn’t matter if it’s my bare skin or through my clothes just hurt- hurts where this thing.” I said gesturing to my chest.
“Why didn’t you say something?”
“I thought it wasn’t important.”
Simon kneeled on the steps in front of me. “Maki, you are important-”
“But I haven’t done anything!” I said louder then I meant to.
Cast and Simon reared back a little.
Simon frowned. “Maki, your importance isn’t ranked on how much you have or haven’t done.”
“It’s not even measured by your actions.” Cast said, sitting next to me. “You may be the next in line but you are a person first and you are allowed to have feelings and concerns that have nothing to do with the throne or the Kingdom.”
Simon nodded. “Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Simon said, smiling at Cast. “Now, Maki, talk to us.”
“I don’t want to come across weak…”
“Maki, we’ve known you your whole life-”
“Seen you in diapers- I’ve even changed one.”
Simon nudged Cast not so gently in the ribs. “Point is we aren’t going anywhere. We’re here.”
Slightly mortified by Cast’s reveal I spoke up. I told them about my not so secret research on the Demi, about the struggles of staying on top of everything the Kingdom needed. On my own worry over ruling.
We talked for hours at one point returning to my room with lunch, then the conversation drifted to easier times and memories they had of me. I knew what they were doing. Knew that they were trying to make me feel better by reminding me that I was enough but… was I enough?
I leaned against the railing overlooking the Kingdom below, hearing the sounds of hope, of the normalcy of laughter and music filling the cool night air. And I wondered. I questioned.
Was I worthy of their hope? Their dreams? Worthy of the songs they sung about me? Was I enough to be their King?
And then those questions lifted their head, whispering seeds of doubt. Could I be a ruler like Father? Like Mother? Could I lead them? Guide them into a brighter future? Be their light, be the roots of their mighty trees?
What would I do to be worthy of that? To be like them?
Hanging my head I gazed at my crown, that sooner rather then later would be Father’s crown.
I didn't want to-
“Maki?”
Turning I saw Simon standing at the door of my balcony, a look of concern.
“Are you alright?”
And it clicked. One of the many missing pieces falling into place.
“I’m alright.” I said truthfully, walking back into my room as he shut the doors and locked them back up.
I wasn’t the only one that had fears, had questions and worries. And if I wasn’t alone in that then we- my citizens and I- we could stand and face the future together.
One step at a time. And I’d… I’d earn their trust and become their King.
Hopefully.
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