Cade hated this feeling. This feeling of loneliness and misunderstanding. It felt cold. But it wasn’t something he wasn’t accustomed to. He’d felt like this most of his life. He knew he was different. He knew he was weird. But he never knew why. Why didn’t he think like everybody else? Why didn’t he like what everybody else liked? Why couldn’t he be normal? That’s what he really wanted. He just wanted to be a normal guy with normal desires and normal attractions. But that was never him. And now, it was going to get him killed. And for what? He was still going to die alone. Even though he had tried to be normal. Tried to be the person he thought everyone else wanted him to be. Who his parents wanted him to be. Who his job wanted him to be. Who his friends wanted him to be. Who God wanted him to be.

Wait.

God never really told me I was weird. He told me I was different, but He didn’t really make it seem like a bad thing. And He never really left me alone either. After I started doing this stuff, I could always feel somebody with me. Like someone was always holding my hand. And my friends call me weird, but they actually like my weirdness. Dan said it was one of the things that made him want to be my friend. He thinks I’m actually smart. Well, maybe that’s a stretch. But he doesn’t think I’m dumb. Maybe I’m not as alone as I thought.

“You’re right,” Cade admitted. “I am a weirdo. I am strange and different and a freak. I act like I’m shy but I’m really just scared people will reject me. I mean, just because I’m different doesn’t mean I’m special. I’ve always been alone because no one seems to understand me. Your family is supposed to love you and encourage you. But all mine does is ask why I can’t be normal like everyone else. So I spend all my time in my room, on games and stuff. I mean, if my own family can’t accept me then how can I expect strangers to?” Cade wiped the tears from his face. “So I don’t talk to people. I don’t want to be a burden to them. I don’t want to annoy them. I don’t think they would be interested in what I have to say. It makes for a pretty sad and lonely life to be honest.” Shalek was all but drooling as he stood on the opposite side of the rooftop. He started walking slowly towards Cade, drawing out his approach and savoring this sick torment that he had started.

“I’ve lived my life alone, in my own head, in my own thoughts. But you know what I’ve found out? That I lie to myself a lot. That I am way too hard on myself. The world doesn’t revolve around me. People aren’t looking for ways to demean or belittle me. People aren’t wasting time judging me and my actions. They have their own problems that they are dealing with that have nothing to do with me. And yet I have convinced myself that they just don’t like me. That I’m too weird and they just won’t understand me. I’m the reason I’m lonely. I’m the reason I’m alone!”

But you’re not alone.

You will never be alone again.

Cade heard the words, but they didn’t come from Shalek. Then he remembered. He saw flashes in his mind of Dan and Ricky. He remembered all the conversations he had had with Dan while Dan drove him home. He remembered playing games online with Ricky. He remembered texting Dan when he got a new crush that he knew would go nowhere. He remembered laughing. He remembered smiling. “Just call me if you ever want to talk about anything.” “You can always come spend the night at my place if you need a break from your parents.” “I’m always interested in what you have to say. You’re hilarious.” “You will never be alone again.” That’s what Dan had told him that night 3 years ago. But was that really Dan who said it? He started remembering all these times he had heard that from Dan and Ricky over the years. How they always made an effort to include him, to check up on him and make sure he was ok. “You’re an important part of this team. We need you to keep us together. You represent what binds us all.” He had friends. Friends who looked out for him. Friends who cared about him. Friends who loved him.

“You may be right about me,” Cade stated. “You may be able to read my inner thoughts and feelings, but I can be wrong sometimes. It just takes some time for me to remember things. But God calls back to my remembrance the things I need when I need them. And He has given me friends. Real friends who care about me. Who love me. Who pull me out of my own head and thoughts and prove their love for me. So, I’m wrong. You’re wrong. I am not alone.” Cade started to stand up. “I am loved. I am cared for. Ricky loves me. Dan loves me. And because He gave me these amazing people in my life, I know that God loves me.” Shalek’s smile shrank until his lion face wore a scowl. Cade stood tall. “And I won’t let them down. Because it’s more than just words. I can FEEL their love for me.

It encourages me.

It emboldens me.

It makes me stronger.

And it gives me power.”

*ding*

*3 NEW LINKS ESTABLISHED*