I wasn’t sure why I stayed at the party after that. Maybe to test what Annabeth had told me. To try and get impossibly drunk. When I gave it some thought, I had never been truly hammered. A talent I had attributed to tolerance rather than celestial magic. I had always been proud when I outdrank my friends, now I wondered if I hadn’t been playing fair.

So I filled my cup a few more times. I chugged, I even took shots with some of the other partygoers. I kept drinking until I could feel the base of the music in my skull. Until the stars seemed to tilt this way and that. I drank until I felt like my being was a few steps behind my body. Like I was watching the world through a scope that was far in front of me. I was no longer in control. My movements were rigid and my feet seemed too big every time I tripped over them. But mostly, I felt okay. No thoughts of my sister, the demon in the motel room, or my life that had not only amounted to nothing but was crumbling into smaller pieces every passing day. I didn’t want to devote my life to a God I didn’t believe in yet what was I doing with it that was so much more important? Maybe I was chosen as a puppet for the almighty because I wouldn’t have done anything else noteworthy. I would’ve just been a wasted life.

I vomited at the edge of the woods. Still bracing myself against a tree, I heard footsteps approaching from behind. I turned and saw the silhouette of a girl walking up to me.

“Are you alright?” She asked. I recognized her voice. Nikki.

“Fine,” I said turning away and spitting the foul taste in my mouth. She waited silently until I fully turned towards her. “I didn’t see you before.” I meant it as an apology. I didn’t just mean that night, I’m not sure if she understood that. Her dark hair fell like a waterfall over her shoulders and down her back. The last time I saw her it had been cropped into a short bob, just barely grazing her chin. She didn’t really look older, just tired. She was beautiful either way. She still radiated the same nervous energy I remembered. Her arms were crossed tightly over herself, clad in a thick sweatshirt. She watched me, making sure I was okay, though she didn’t seem to.

“Just got here.”

“Pretty late, isn’t it?”

“It’s not that late.” She looked towards the ground, into the darkness where my bile must have been. I could feel her silent judgment. It wasn’t unjust. Reckless, even in a crisis. Maybe I hadn’t grown up at all. That was just me.

“How are you?” The question didn’t feel genuine, just an obligatory ask. Though I was wondering. I had pushed my friendship with Nikki to one of the back recesses of my mind to avoid feeling guilty about abandoning her, about her cutting her out of my life. It wasn’t the right thing to say, not after all this time. But I was drunk and still stupid, apparently.

“Where have you been? This whole time?” She stared at me expectantly. As fidgety as Nikki was, she was also upfront. She didn’t like beating around the bush.

“I’m sorry,” I said and that didn’t feel genuine either. Those two words couldn’t express everything I needed to say.

“No, I just want to know.” Her voice was curt.

“I worked at a few different places. Around the country. Mostly seasonal stuff. Mostly waitressing.” That was the briefest version I could give. My liquored up brain was swirling and I couldn’t discern which pieces of the truth I could give her. I avoided the obvious. She stared at me blankly.

“Cool.” She spun on her heel and began to leave.

“Nikki, please come back.” She spun on her heel and walked towards me until we were less than a breath apart.

“You broke my freaking heart, dude. And you broke my brother’s heart, too. I hoped that whatever you were doing was at least important. Something you had to do but it sounds like you were just wasting time. Great. Good for you.” She began to leave again.

“I came back to find Maggie.” I wasn’t sure why I said it but I felt like I had to. Maybe to garner some sympathy. I still leaned on the tree for support.

“Maggie probably left to follow in your footsteps.” Nikki snapped. “You ruined her when you left. I hope you learn how to take responsibility for that.”

“Do you- do you know anything?” I pleaded. Even though it felt pathetic to do so, I didn’t mind in front of Nikki. She had seen me at my worst more than once.

“I know that Maggie became best friends with Annabeth and her cult after you left. I know that things never got better between her and your mom. I know that her stupid boyfriend has already forgotten about her.” Nikki spat.

“What- what boyfriend?” This was new information.

“Jude Farlow?” She looked at me as if I was stupid. I mean, I was ignorant of what Maggie’s life had become. I hadn’t even had an inkling that she had had a boyfriend.

“Jude Farlow?” I repeated. He was my year, too old for Maggie and probably one of the worst beings this town had produced. “Why?” I asked, disgusted.

“Maybe if you kept in touch you would know.” This time she really did walk away. I watched her go. Beyond her, I saw another new arrival. Rosier was approaching the keg.