Looking at this mountain now, it’s hard to believe it erupted only a short while ago. At least it feels like a short time to me, but being as I am now, the days, weeks and years are impossible to count. Even so, I can remember it with vivid clarity. In Kansei 5, on the 18th day of the 1st month, the peak of Mount Unzen collapsed and engulfed the world in a fiery inferno.

“Tomiko, have you finished with the laundry yet?”

Upon hearing my mother’s voice, I turned from the small wooden bucket and linens in front of me to gaze at our house. It wasn’t a fancy one by any means – the wood was a bit rough, and showing signs of weathering, the tiles on the roof were cracking and a couple of the floorboards were missing. Still, it was better than the houses of the merchants, farmers and craftsman. That’s because my father was a samurai.

“Tomiko!”

“Y-yes?” My mother’s voice forcibly broke through my thoughts and my eyes focused on her once again.

“The laundry, are you finished? Dinner still needs to be made; there’s no time for daydreaming. Your father and brother come home today, so a large meal will need to be prepared.”

I have a quick nod of my head. “Almost done!” I chirped in an excited voice as I turned back to the linens in my hands. After five long years, I would get to see them again. I couldn’t wait.

It was nearly sunset by the time I heard the rice paper door slowly slide open. Throwing down the knife that I had been using to cut a daikon, I rushed from the kitchen into the main sitting room. I heard my mother call my name, but I didn’t pause until I stood facing him.

My father was older looking than I remembered him being. He had a small scruffy beard, and longer black hair that was tied in a ponytail at the back of his head. The wrinkles around his eyes were more pronounced and his skin was far darker from hours out in the sun, still his light gray eyes were exactly the same.

Those gray eyes softened on me as I skidded into the room. “You’ve grown Tomi-chan.”

“Well of course I have! I am thirteen now after all. I’m practically all grown up.”

The face of my brother poked through the doorway. He had grown so much I could hardly recognize him. He was taller than me now, with toned muscles, a pronounced cheekbone and a much lower voice. “All grown up huh?” he said as he studied me. “You still look like a little girl to me.”

“Why you –”

“Now now. That’s enough of that.” My mother’s voice cut me off as she entered the room. “Welcome home, dear husband. Dinner has been prepared for you both. I will begin setting it out now.”

Just a little while later, we were all seated on the tatami mats with our food in front of us. My mother certainly had gone full out. I’d never seen her prepare such a large and extravagant meal before.

I was happily working on eating a piece of fish when I first felt the tremor. Such things weren’t uncommon in our area, so at first, I took no notice. Then it came again, stronger. Strong enough to knock my food tray to the ground.

My father was already standing now, looking toward the window with his hand on his katana – as if drawing his sword would aid him in fighting against the land itself.

Slowly, my father turned around to face me, my mother, and my brother. “Run. Now.”

My eyes widened on him and my whole body froze in fear. What? Just what is he saying? Why should we…?

My brother was the first to act. Grabbing up both his katana and kodachi, he raced for my mother and me, grabbing us both up roughly and shoving us toward the door.

My father followed a half a step behind. There was a blur of movement and I could feel my right arm being ripped forward as my brother dragged me along urgently behind him. Before I could fully process the events, we were sprinting through the small city.

I could see others coming out of this houses to stare up at the mountain in wonder. Just what was going on? I risked a look backward, and what I saw froze me to the spot immediately. My legs stopped moving and for a moment, my arm was ripped painfully forward as my brother tried to keep me going.

“Ryuu… the mountain. There’s something coming from the mountain.”

“Don’t stop!” My father’s urgent voice sounded from behind us. “Keep running and whatever you do, don’t look back!”

At this point, I began to register a roaring noise from behind us, and a heat that seemed to be getting stronger by the second. On top of this, the screams of other people could be heard as they fled down the dirt street toward the ocean.

My arms was jerked roughly once more and my eyes found that of my brother’s. “We have to keep going!” Although he screamed the words, I could scarcely hear it over everything else that was going on.

I nodded numbly and forced my legs to begin moving once again. Although every step felt like I was wading through mud. Even though I was running, I felt as though I weren’t moving at all – like I was in a dream or illusion.

Behind us, I heard wretched screams of agony. I didn’t have to turn around to know that this strange inferno had consumed those who were the closest to the base of the mountain. It was at this point that everything seemed to sharpen in my vision. The numbness faded and my speed increased so that I could keep up with my brother without him dragging me. Still, I never let go of his hand.

In the distance, I could see those who were far ahead of us flinging themselves into the sea to escape the inferno that was ravaging the village behind us. In front of me, my brother suddenly came to a stop; it was so sudden in fact that I ran straight into his broad back.

“Not that way…” he said more to himself than to me. Then, without explanation, he turned to the left and raced for another, smaller mountain in the distance.

“Ryuu… are you crazy?” I yelled, gasping for breath. We really hadn’t run that far, but for me, who now spent a lot of time doing housework, the sprint was far more than what I could handle.

“That lava will flow straight downhill into the sea and burn all of the people in it. We have to go uphill where it can’t reach us!”

My lungs and legs ached and I felt as though my heart would explode any second, but still, I kept running. My desire for survival outweighed the pain shooting across my entire body. Ryuu took the steepest roads he could find, getting us further and further up until we reached the edge of the forest.

It was only here that he stopped and turned around to look at the disaster that was unfolding. I immediately fell to my knees, grasping the clothing at my chest as if that would help the aching. Thank the kami I hadn’t been wearing a kimono today.

It was the thought of a kimono that suddenly triggered the memory of my mother and father. In the chaos, I had lost track of them. “W-where are Haha-ue and Chichi-ue?” I gasped, barely able to get out the words through my wheezing.

“I don’t’ know.”

“Wh-what? What do you mean you don’t know?? They were right behind us just a moment ago.” Pushing myself to my feet once more, I turned to look down at the city where the lava was now spreading out across the flatter land. There was no sign of either of them

“Haha-ue! Chichi-ue!” I screamed, now having recovered some of my breath. “Haha-ue! Chi – !”

“Tomiko stop. They’re gone.”

For a moment my mouth opened and closed as I tried to form some sort of comeback. I could feel tears beginning to build up in the corners of my eyes. “What are you talking about? They can’t just be… gone. They were right behind us! They –” I choked over a sob and covered my mouth with my hand as the tears began to flow freely.

They were gone. The world seemed to fade in my vision as shock took over. Once again, I found myself falling to my knees, but I couldn’t even feel the pain as my kneecaps struck the hard ground. They’re gone. They’re gone. The phrase echoed around my empty head, but no matter how much I said it to myself, I couldn’t grasp it.

“Tomiko. Look. The water is moving.”

My eyes lifted to where he was pointing out on the bay. And indeed, it appeared as though the water was rising up in defiance as the lava from the mountain crashed into it. Further and further it rose into the air and then it rushed across the bay.

“A tsunami,” my brother said as he watched the massive wave of water disappear into the distance.

For a long moment, the earth seemed to still, almost as if some sort of peace had settled back on it. That was until a movement happened to catch the corner of my eye. “Ryuu, the tsunami… It’s coming back!”

Ryuu, who had been sitting on a rock staring off into the burnt town now looked up to confirm what I had just said.

“Higher! We have to climb higher!”

And so, once again we started off at a sprint – or as much as we could sprint through the foliage of the forest. The wave of water roared behind us, growing nearer by the second. I could feel the panic rising in my throat once more. Faster and faster we went, and then Ryuu stopped.

Not noticing this, I ran into him for the second time that day and sent us both tumbling to the ground in a heap. “Now what’s –” As I looked up, the words died in my throat. Our path dead-ended here. In front of us, was a sheer rock-face that rose straight up into the sky. It was too smooth to climb and too big to go around.

“So this is it huh? This is as far as we can go…” I said. I felt like I should have been sad, scared, angry, regretful or some other emotion as I faced my death, but instead, all I felt was a void.

“Yeah,” Ryuu said. “Hey Tomi, I know I never said it, but I’ve always loved ‘ya as a little sister. Hope you know that.”

“I know,” I said, my voice so soft I wondered if he could hear me at all. “Me too. And sorry for always blaming my mistakes on you and stuff when we were kids.”

“No worries; although you were a real pain back then.”

“And so were you.” A small chuckle slipped from my mouth. I couldn’t believe it. With everything that was happening. Everything that was going down, how – how in the world could I laugh? But I did. As I thought of those happier times in our childhood, I couldn’t help it.

As the sound of the tsunami grew ever nearer, I embraced my brother for the last time. He too, held on to me as tightly as he could. And then, the water hit. I let the force take me willingly and surrendered the small amount of breath I had remaining to the current.

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“Do you wish to live again?”

The impossibly deep voice was the next thing I recall. Before me was a completely black void. I couldn’t feel my body, but I could tell my mind and memories still remained intact.

“Yes.”

“Even if you are reincarnated as something else?”

“Yes.”

“Then go, go toward your new life.”

This is how I found myself as a bird. The memories of my past life still remain with me, and I hold them close to my heart. Luckily or unluckily, I have been unable to separate myself from Unzen. Perhaps it is because I still have hope that if I linger around the area long enough, I may be able to see my parents and brother again in some other form; perhaps I stay to watch over the people here, so that they will never have to suffer a similar fate to mine. Or, maybe, I’m simply captivated by the beauty of this land that can never be destroyed.