“An angel? You want me to believe that Dan is an ACTUAL angel? Dan? Freaky Dan? Crazy Dan? Vulgar Dan? Is actually an angel incarnate?” “I didn’t say he was perfect. No one is. Except Me that is,” the being gave a little chuckle. “Dan surely has his flaws but we are working through them. Did you know that he has been celibate for over two years? That’s a big deal for him. And he doesn’t smoke anymore. And he drinks very rarely and even then doesn’t do so to get drunk. His language is still vulgar but we can work on that.”  Eli looked at Dan as the being spoke. Maybe Dan wasn’t as sinful as he had perceived. “He even agreed to leave that life behind tonight. I’ve been able to use him a lot these past few years and we’ve done a lot of good together. He’s really a good Christian.”

Eli felt that pit in his stomach again. How could God be praising Dan like this? Was he wrong about Dan this whole time? Had he been harboring these feelings towards him their whole friendship? Was he jealous of Dan?

“Why am I here, in the Spirit Realm? How did I get here? Why am I seeing this?” Eli looked up at the figure in white for the first time since he bowed. “Why are you here?” “That is a lot of questions. I’ll answer them in order. You are here because you need to be. I brought you here. Since you have given your soul to me I can pretty much do what I want with it. So I brought you here. You are seeing all this because you need to see it. Eli, you have always believed in me. But you have also always compared yourself to other people when it comes to Me. Which is kind of strange because you are pretty secure in almost every other area of your life. But when it comes to spirituality, you’re always seeing what other people can do and how I’m using them and feeling inadequate. Sure, I have not been able to use you in similar ways but that’s because you always look at Me through what I do through others. You have yet to ask Me what I want to do with you. You have yet to ask Me what talents I need from you. You have always tried to do what you have seen others do. But you are not them. I do not hold you in the same regard as I hold them. I know you would love nothing more than for Me to use you, but I do not believe you would even listen or believe Me if what I told you I needed from you wasn’t as grand as say…what I can do with your father. You want to do these great things like other people, but what if that isn’t what I have for you? What if no one will know what you do for me? What if there is no glory in it for you? What if you don’t really feel special or powerful or important during or even after I use you? You have not shown that you would be very receptive of that. Moreover, you haven’t shown that that is something that you would even want.”

Eli was crying. God was telling him that he had been doing everything so wrong. He had been working and trying all this time, all these YEARS, and it was all wrong. But as he felt the pit he had in his stomach for Dan, he knew it was true. And he knew he had to change. So wiping tears away, he looked up to the being before him. “I am sorry. I have failed you, and myself, I guess. I just, I just thought that...I KNEW that I was destined to do great things for you. And I wanted to do them. I still want to do them. But I guess I shouldn’t be looking for opportunities to do big things when I can’t even be happy for others doing big things. I mean, Dan is a freaking angel for goodness sake. That’s great for him. And here I am, literally in front of God, jealous of Dan. But does that mean I’m not enough? That even when I try my hardest that I just don’t have what You need or want? And if not, what does that mean for me? Why am I here then? Why have I been trying to serve you all these years if you don’t even need me?”

“Hold on a minute. Let’s set one thing straight right now,” the man’s voice turned serious. “I don’t need ANY of you for anything. I am God and God alone. Let’s not forget that, little Eli. I can make the seas swell and the rivers run dry. I can cause mountains to crumble and raise new lands from the depths of the oceans. I need no man or woman for any of My work to be done. I do not have to be fair as you conceive fairness. I am just. I am right. I am holy. And I am perfect. There has never been a time when I NEEDED you, or anyone else. But I have instilled various gifts and talents, skills and knowledge to certain people so that I can use them in executing my work. Never forget that, young Eli.”