Miya and Jon walked through the main quad of Anju, talking about whatever came to mind. As guarded as he was keeping himself, he had to admit that Miya’s charming personality was really starting to get to him.
“So what made you decide to help those two with the ladies?” she asked curiously. “I don’t know if anyone’s told you, but they kind of have a reputation on campus.”
“I know they do,” he admitted. “Honestly, I only started hanging out with them when I realized no one could really understand my accent.”
She chuckled at him. “It is a little thick. Most of the students here barely speak English. Even most of the foreign exchange students seem to be from non-English speaking countries.”
“It’s not just that,” he continued. “The way I see it, this is my good deed for the year.”
“How do you figure?”
“They’re perverts, no doubt about it,” he explained. “But if I can steer them in the right direction, maybe help them lose some of those bad habits, they might just grow up a little.”
“You really think you can help them get laid?” she asked somewhat jokingly.
He laughed in amusement while shaking his head. “Highly doubt it. But the way I see things, if I do my job right, it won’t matter. They’ll realize that’s not what’s important.”
She gazed up at him with beguiled eyes. “So what is important then?”
Jon shrugged. “That you find someone who you can make happy. And will make you happy in return. That’s honestly the best a man can hope for in life.”
“That is way too sweet and mature for someone who chokes as well as you do.”
He chuckled in amusement again. “What can I say? I had a good teacher.”
“Clearly. So what about you?” Miya spoke up again, a little quieter this time.
“What about me?”
“Do you think you’ll ever find that special someone?” she asked sincerely.
Jon stopped. “I don’t have time to worry about things like that,” he admitted without hesitation. “Truth be told, I can’t afford to think about it.”
“Oh…” By her voice, it was clear she was incredibly disappointed by his answer. No surprise there, he was used to that kind of reaction. It didn’t change the fact that he was dead set on not letting her get attached. “So then...I guess there’s no point in asking if you wanted to go out tonight. Is there?”
“Listen...you’re an incredibly sweet girl,” he spoke with gentle assurance. “And I can see where this is going, but…”
“I’m so used to guys flaking the moment I start to get attached,” she interrupted, sadness in her voice. “I know you don’t remember much about that night, but I do. You’re not like any other guy I’ve been intimate with.” By the sincerity of her words, he could tell she wasn’t kidding.
“Miya…”
“I’m sick of one-night stands,” she continued. “I’m ready for something real. You may just think I’m a little girl with a crush, but I’m serious.”
He didn’t respond.
“I really see there being something between us,” she continued, looking him right in the eye. “And from the way I see you looking at me, I know you’re thinking the same thing. Or am I wrong?”
He was stunned. She was looking up at him so earnestly, almost pleading. “Miya, where is this coming from?”
Her face turned a pretty shade of pink. From his heightened senses, he could hear her heart thudding like a drum in her chest. This was different from Honami, who was clearly just flustered. Miya had something she was burying under that racing heart, a confession she’d kept hidden.
“The truth is, when I told you the other day that I never saw you on campus, I lied. I’ve been watching you for awhile now,” she finally admitted, her tone quiet, almost shameful. “God, I never thought I would admit this. It’s beyond embarrassing, but...but I don’t know. You pass through campus all the time and you just seem so...gentle, in addition to being incredibly handsome. I wanted to talk to you so many times but I just couldn’t. I was too afraid you’d think I was a creep or something.”
'This cannot seriously be happening right now.' He thought to himself. 'Dammit, Jon! What the hell were you thinking?! You just slept with a girl who has a massive crush on you!'
“But that night…” she continued, her eyes glassing over. “...it was even better than I could have possibly imagined. I’ve never felt a connection like this with anyone else before. Jon, please, I really don’t want this to just be another one-night stand. If you feel even a little bit like I do, then please, I really want you to be my boyfriend.”
His heart shattered. In that instant, every fiber of his being wanted to kick his own teeth in. 'Way to go, you damn fool.' He mentally berated himself. 'You went and toyed with the poor girl’s heart, and now she’s attached.'
He’d told himself so many times to stop flirting around so much. Someone like him had no business fooling around like this. No matter how lonely he got, or how much he wished he could just be normal for a while, nothing had changed. The vampire from earlier that week was a testament to that. So long as he bore that mark, he would always be a target. And anyone who got close to him would just end up as another victim.
Just like his family was.
This wouldn’t be easy. She’d be crushed, but with time, hopefully she would get over it. And if he never got her forgiveness for breaking her heart the way he was about to, that would just be yet one more thing he’d have to live with. It was better, in the end, if she hated him anyway.
He opened his mouth to speak, sure in his words, yet nothing came out. Miya could see the look of hesitance in his eyes, and her own began to glimmer with hope.
She peered up at him expectantly. “Well...say something.”
'Come on. Just get it over with. Just tell her you’re not interested. She’ll hate you, but it’s for her own good. Now quit pussyfooting around and just do it.'
Yet no matter how he tried to convince himself, he just couldn’t. Jon was sick of being alone all the time. He was sick of having to hide. More than anything, he just wanted to live a normal life, if only for a while. But that didn’t change the fact that she deserved better than what he had to offer her.
So instead of breaking her heart, he would tell her the truth. Either way, she’d back off.
“Miya, can we go somewhere private?” he asked nervously. “There’s something I want to tell you.”
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