Love.

We`re surrounded by it.

We all want to be loved by someone, and I don't mean that love you have for a friend, but that kinda love that makes you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. 

For me. 

I don’t believe in that sort of fairy tale anymore.

Hello, my name is Siren.

I’m 21 years old, and I’ve been living alone for 2 years now. I work most of the time at a coffee shop, and outside of that, I make music with two friends of mine. It's nothing big yet though...

Now I’m on my way to the mall, cause I need to buy presents for my family…

Family can be annoying sometimes. At least mine does. They’ve been asking me every day since I moved out when I will find a girl and get kids.

Well, it's been hinted at for way longer. Mom saying out loud “Oh, how nice it would be to have kids running around the house again…”

Mom and dad ask me every time I’m there If I’ve started dating. It’s been getting on my nerves!

The thing is…

I’m not interested in kids, nor girls…

I haven’t had the guts to tell them I’m gay yet.

Nobody knows except for my closest friend Jake, and random guys I’ve dated. My mom would probably get heartbroken, maybe even go as far as cutting all contact with me. That’s just a worst-case scenario, but still a possibility!

Well, it would be easier if I liked girls, since its more normal.

Well enough about this, I’m finally at the mall. I’m looking forward to getting inside, and away from this cold weather. I regret not taking the bus, then I`d avoid freezing so much.

I get in feeling the warmness fill me up in seconds! Such a relief. Hopefully, I won’t catch a cold. I can already feel the Christmas spirit seconds after getting inside, hearing old Christmas classics playing on the stereo, and seeing parents freaking out if they’ll get everything on their spoiled kids' wishlist. And the malls Santa getting puked by a kid.

I run around the mall trying to find my go-to store. Seeing the ginormous tree at the centre, it`s so big it goes all the way up to the 3rd floor. That wasn’t there two days ago, how did they get that up so quickly, even got all the Christmas decorations on. After searching for a while I get up the escalator, and finally, I find the store I was looking for, at the end of the hallway. They’ve moved it, wired. 

I usually give coffee cups to my parents for Christmas, since they've never told me what they actually wanted, they just tell me all they want is “Kind children”.

But this year I want to do something more creative! Especially after my sister had to start giving my parents presents aswell. Cause she just copied me. Now they give every visitor a cup each, cause they don’t have space for all of them.

I look around the store finding loads of cups, Christmas lights, and decorations. I don’t want to give them that either.

I walk towards the cash register where the employee was standing with his back against me. I say “Ehm, excuse me…” He turns around, and I freeze on the spot. My hearts start beating faster.

He looks at me with his bright purple eyes. My heart starts beating even faster. I realize my mouth is still open, and haven’t stopped talking, but the only word that got out was “Eeeee…” I feel my body starts getting warmer, Why is it suddenly so hot in here? I feel the sweat running down my back. This is so uncomfortable. The employee is still looking at me with his beautiful eyes. I can see his soft lips slowly open. I’m so focused on his lips that everything else feels like it’s going on half speed.

I hear his deep voice forming words “Nac… I… Pleh… Ouy?” I have no clue what he’s trying to tell me. All I know is that his nose is neither too small nor too big, it has that sweet spot that makes it cute, combined with his eyes and moth its just perfect!

He lifts his left hand and starts waving at me. I look at his hand, and then everything goes back up to speed, and my “Eeee…” turns into a sentence “You’ve got a beautiful hand. Can I touch it?” 

His relaxed look drastically turns into shock, as we both realize what I just said…

I think to myself “Oh! Oh, NONONO Siren! WhAt ThE FuIcK!!! Abort! Abort!!!” Before he gets to say anything else, I run out of the store.

I jump down the escalator, and get out in the cold weather, running the fastest I can back to my apartment. 

When I'm finally inside, I feel my heart is beating like lightning, and my sweat is even worse! Why did I say that? What is wrong with me!?!? That’s it I’ll have to find a new store now!

-

End of chapter one.

Hope you liked the first chapter.

This was originally going to be comic, but since I wanted to post daily for Christmas, I knew I had to make It to a novel instead. Maybe next year my art skills will be able to do it. Anyway, hope you’ll read through this story. Sorry if my grammar is really bad, English isn’t my main language…

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