As i’m walking to my next class, my minds running all over the place. I keep thinking of everything i could’ve done to prevent this happening to my brother. I care about him more than anything in this world, and he’s the only thing in this world that takes the effort to protect me from the world. Any abusive home he protects me. Any bullies he protects me. He kept me safe, and i was selfish not to do enough to save him back.
I walk into first core and the teacher from earlier looks at me, i ask her where do i sit, since she’s here today she can assign me a seat, i don’t want to sit with Tamara again, she’s annoying. The lesson was about some world history thing, i wouldn’t know. I’m not paying attention. A girl taps on my shoulder, i look at her. She starts talking to me asking where i’m from. She’s actually really nice, her names Kira. She tells me about what were learning and helps me catch up. I blame myself as i was not paying attention whatsoever.
The bell rings, its time for Second core.
I don’t really talk about social studies. There’s not much to talk about from that class, it’s pointless to the story for now.
I walk into Math, and walk up to Lauren. She’s drawing, again. A different photo, its an anime cat-girl. I wonder why she always draws, but it could just be a fun hobby to her. I turn around. Grant is staring at me again. Whats his problem? Why does he keep looking at me? Not to be rude, but whats with his hair? Why does he style it like that? He would look cuter without it, but i’m not him and its not really my problem. I look in my bag, and Jonathon comes up to me. “Do you have a pencil i can borrow?” He says. “I might hold on.” I reply. I rummage through my bag and pull out two mechanical pencils, one for me, and one for him.
As class goes on, my mind wanders more about how i could’ve helped my brother. I was the only person he listened too. I need to pay attention, if i fail mom will kill me. Like she might actually kill me. If you haven’t noticed, i'm terrified of my mom. She has Bipolar disorder so i don’t blame her for her actions, but shes just so mean. She can go from absolutely happy and talking to me and asking about my day, to screaming at me for absolutely anything or a little spec of dirt on the floor. I try to avoid talking to her, or interacting with her. I feel bad, but i have many other reasons besides her going nuts on me.
As class continues, i struggle to focus more and more. I go from thinking constantly, to zoning out. I can barely comprehend what were learning because of me not paying attention at my old school, even though they’re a lesson or two behind here. I have to try though, if i get anything lower than a 65 in my classes, mom will absolutely kill me.
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