Simon’s POV

This wasn’t the first time I had walked away from Aspen and Cedar. In fact, I probably spent most of the past ten years alone. Between earning whatever money I could find, and hiding away in some cave near my old pack, I couldn’t call the dingy motel or even the past places we’ve stayed a “home”. In fact, despite having kept that motel room for over two weeks, the three of us were still considered homeless.

“Hey,” a groggy voice mumbled. A hand patting around until it had taken a hold of my thigh. “Don’t leave yet”

This also wasn’t the first time I had spent the night with some rogue for cash.

Robbie yawned as he struggled to sit upright. He groaned before scrounging for his wallet in his nightstand. “It’s been a while, didn’t think you still had my number”

He pulled out a few twenty dollar bills before grabbing his phone and resting his head on my lap. He grinned, still drowsy, and handed me the bills.

I had been seeing Robbie for quite some time now, and although I never pursued him romantically, I kept in touch with him occasionally even if it wasn’t for money. He was considerate and genuinely seemed to care about my wellbeing, and despite how much money he made, he didn’t like to flaunt it like some of the other guys I’ve seen.

“Sorry it ain’t much, I don’t get paid till Friday, and truthfully wasn’t expecting you. I’ll pay extra next time,” he held my hand, giving me one of his classic puppy dog faces. “I promise”

“Ok,” I replied. “But you owe me ice cream next time too”

“Deal,” he beamed, his eyes seeming to twinkle in the dim light. “So, what’s the scoop this time? Did something happen, or did you genuinely miss me?”

“Aspen and I got into an argument, same old,” I shrugged before adding, “of course I missed you. How could I live without your snoring and I owe yous”

He poked my side with his signature dorky, yet adorable pout, “hey, is that sarcasm I hear. And I don’t snore!”

“You do snore,” I poked back.

“And I promised you ice cream, that’s not fair,” he joked. I went to poke him again but he grabbed my hand. “And if it’s the amount of money you’re talking about, I can work more hours if you really need more. I just really wasn’t expecting your call last night. I’ve told you before, that I’m willing to help you out in whatever-“

“I was joking,” I interrupted. I couldn’t take where his tone was going. The slight pitiful tone he was taking discussing my financial situation was not something I needed, especially from him.

“Really,” I countered. “I was just teasing. I really shouldn’t even be taking your money in the first place.”

He continued to stare at me with pitiful eyes, before squeezing my hand again. “I mean it, Simon. I want to help you. The money isn’t an issue for me and besides-“

“No, it’s okay,” I argued, reaching for the money he had handed me. That same feeling of wanting to run out and leave was creeping up again. I didn’t want help. Not professional help nor Robbie’s. The weight of yesterday was crushing me, and I didn’t want to intrude on his life, despite how nice he was. The fear of being tossed aside like ten years ago was building, and I couldn’t take to see that look of disgust on sweet Robbie’s face.

Before I could change my mind I stuffed the wad of money back at him. “Woah, woah, no. This is yours now Simon. Really. This is nothing”

“No. No, I really shouldn’t,” I stammered. I didn’t want his handouts. As much as I could use that money, what Aspen had said was starting to get to me. You need help, Simon. I didn’t want to need help. I wanted to prove to Aspen after these ten years that I could do things on my own. That I didn’t need to rely on people like Robbie.

Robbie has grabbed my shoulders with both of his hands, moving closer to my face with a serious look on his face. “Seriously, Simon. I want you to have this. I want to help you. Let me help you”

“No,” I looked away, trying not to look at his face. “I-I don’t want your help”

I shoved his arms away before leaving the bed, reaching for my clothes. I needed to leave. Robbie followed me, hovering almost, trying to shove his money back at me.

“Simon,” he called out as I struggled to put my pants and shirt on. He grabbed my forearm, looking me in the eyes. “Hey, hey, easy. What’s going on? Are you alright? Was it something I said?”

I turned around, suddenly overwhelmed by his prying. I just wanted to leave.

“Talk to me, Simon,” he pleaded, moving toward me to face me again. “Please? I’m sorry, alright? I don’t know what I said or did, but hear me out okay?”

“I really should get going,” I mumbled. I moved past him toward the front door, trying to ignore his protests.

“At least take some money,” he argued. “Keep in touch would you?”

I turned the knob and walked down the stairs, leaving empty-handed. I couldn’t take his money, not after what Aspen had been telling me for years. This wasn’t something I should be doing, it wasn’t a job and it was totally not safe. With Robbie, maybe, but not the others. I had to leave, or else I’d be doing exactly what Aspen warned me about.

At the same time, I wanted to run back in there and lay in bed with him and listen to him rant about his job. He was one of the only clients that I had been pretty open and honest about regarding my past. As a fellow rogue, Robbie had also been kicked out of his pack. And despite how stressful it could be, he was willing to share his experiences with me, and likewise. There was just this ambiance to him that seemed to radiate comfortability and solace. It was something I had grown to love about spending time with him. He didn’t care about the sex like the others, it was almost an afterthought to him. And unlike the others, he was never appalled at the experiences I had or the scars.

However, It was for the best that I leave though, despite how thoughtful and considerate he was. Leaving would be a step in the right direction, even if it meant I had absolutely no money. I couldn’t keep relying on him and the others by running to them every time I left Aspen and Cedar or when we needed money for food and housing. It’s better if I stop seeing him at all.

I took a deep breath, trying to forget Robbie’s concerned face when I shut the door behind me. I needed to move forward, even if I had no money…

Of course, I could crawl back to that crappy motel, back to a disapproving Aspen and frightened Cedar. But I couldn’t face them. Not after what I did and said.

So instead, I walked for about an hour, heading toward the more secluded part of town. Robbie had a rather posh apartment and had been located in a large city just north of our motel. He had lived pretty far from where our motel was, and even farther from where my old pack used to be.

Despite its proximity, the forested mountains just north of the pack were unclaimed territory, where rogues like me could roam freely. It was a forest I had grown to become very familiar with, as I spent the first few years as a rogue with Aspen and Cedar. Once I reached a remote area of the town, I shifted into my wolf form and headed toward the forest edge.

Being this close to my former pack was a risky move, given the patrolling betas, and the hunting parties. But, the forest had also been like a home to me, and I’d rather risk running into them over having Aspen and Cedar concerned and watching me like a hawk.

I stayed close to the dense part of the forest, heading toward the large lake, where the cave I usually sought shelter was nearby. The air became particularly brisk, as the winds traveling down the mountain funneled down the valley.

With the lake in sight, the mountainous terrain had begun to slope downwards, near the foot of the mountain, where the cave I typically slept in was located. Like I remembered, there weren’t any rogues in sight, which was why I had chosen this spot in particular. Most of the hunting parties and patrolling betas didn’t patrol this far away from the pack, given how long it would take to return in case of an emergency. When my father had been out on hunts, he often told me of how venturing out near the lake could be dangerous. Other packs up north would often claim lands near there in an effort to capitalize on the abundance of salmon and deer that traveled during the winter time. Luckily, by the mountain base, the only large game were bears, which most wolves didn’t prefer hunting.

I traveled down the small mountainous path towards the cave. The mouth of the cave was fairly large, despite how small it looked with all the bushes and branches partly covering it. The cave expanded a good fifty feet deep, with a series of small dens in the back and shallow pools of water. I settled with one of the more concealed caves, curling up into a ball and letting the sound of dripping water drown out my thoughts of Robbie and Aspen.

Instead, I thought about my family. The happier times, when we were all together, and everything was fine. I thought about my sister, Nicole. Before Aspen and Cedar, Nicole had really been the one person I relied on the most. As much as I loved my parents and other siblings, Nicole had a knack for understanding me. The number of times I’d confide my secrets and stories too, to trusting her with my biggest secret of all, she had truly been my rock during my last few years of being in the pack. She hadn’t judged me for being me, which was something I truly needed.

Even when I had told her about Vince and the mate pull, she offered her advice and was willing to keep it a secret until I had told my parents. Maybe part of it was, that she had her own secret she needed to hide. Both our mates had turned out to be the previous Alpha’s children, something that should be treated with the utmost caution. Considering our father was a mere Delta, us being paired with the Alpha’s heir and second in line was not ideal.

Yet, Nicole reassured me that things would be okay no matter what happened. Although things were not okay now, Nicole’s ability to keep my nerves at bay, was something I missed the most. Aspen’s patronizing just added to my nerves and made stressful situations even more trying.

As I reminisced further of the good times with my family, I closed my eyes, letting the water drops lull me to sleep.

It was only a few hours later, did a new smell permeated the cave. And seconds later, I could hear the sound of someone step into the puddles at the cave’s opening. I waited before looking up, assuming it had been Aspen or Cedar, as they were the only ones who knew about my hideout here.

Although the smell had been different. Somewhat familiar, yet not like Aspen or Cedar at all. I peeked up, to meet the eyes of someone I hadn’t seen in over ten years.