The car door slammed shut. Rebecca slid into her seat and turned on the car, she looked at herself quickly in the mirror, and was satisfied with the beautiful face looking back at her. A slight pucker appeared between her eyes. I felt her eyes frequently glance in my direction as she drove.
“Why was Daston staring at you?” She asked. Her voice uninterested, but I knew my sister, and she was very interested.
“I don’t know Rebecca maybe he wanted to see how much of a freak I am.”
Her eyes snapped to me and there was no more pretense that she was not interested.
“He’s in our class and sits right behind you. He’s already gotten an eyeful of you. If he wanted to know how big of a freak you are, he would do it there.”
I flinched. That hurt, more because it was my sister instead of the ass hats in school.
I turned my head toward the window so my sister would not see the angry tears brimming in my eye. She still managed.
“Brianna, I didn’t mean that.” Her voice was ringing with sincerity. She always does this, lets slip what she really thinks of me and then thinks because she takes it back everything is ok. I always forgave her in the end because no matter how much her words hurt, I knew they were true. I could not punish her for her honesty.
I turned to look at her and saw the concern in her eyes. Damn her and her twinkling blue eyes that gets her everything she wants. I could feel the anger slowly evaporate. I could never stay mad at her, because for some unknown reason I loved her to death.
She seemed to realize our fight was over. Her face immediately brightened up.
“Do you think he was curious about you because he heard we were sisters?” She pondered curiously.
I snorted. Rebecca shot me an annoyed glare. “What? I can be intimidating. It is much harder to approach me.” She sniffed self-importantly.
I choked down a laugh that was bubbling. “Are you sure you even want Daston. Maybe you just want him because he ignored you.”
She scowled at me. “Ignoring is not the same as rejecting. He never said no.’
“He also did not say yes.” I mumbled.
“What?’ She snapped.
“Nothing.” I said sweetly. “What do you like about Daston?” I said suddenly. “I mean aside from his good looks.”
She bit her lower lip. “What do you mean besides his good looks? What better thing is there?” She smiled, her eyes got that glazed over look she gets when she’s lost in a day dream. It used to freak the hell out of me when she did it while driving.
“Fair enough, I guess. I definitely would not mind riding that man.”
Rebecca coughed loudly, choking on some spit. “Damn sister. I did not know you had it in you.” Her voice took on a dreamy quality. “What do you think his lips feel like; you think it’s smooth and delicious or hard and rough.”
I really did not want to think about that, but as much as I did not trust him, I was still a girl who was very much attracted to a hot guy. I did not want to get hot and bothered. Try as I may, it was too late.
“Both, it is definitely both.” I grinned. Rebecca and I shared a quick glance, both our minds were deep in the gutter.
Rebecca turned into the driveway and turned off the car. Rebecca winked at me as she opened the car door, a wicked grin on her face, I could see the dirty thoughts lurking in her mind. They were the same thoughts that were running through mine. I shook my head at her and opened my car door. I followed her inside are yellow house and plopped down on one of my mother’s lime green cushion. The cushion alone would have been a monstrosity but my mother—a miracle worker—made it go well with the yellow patterned wall and dark green couches.
I loved and hated this house. On the plus side it was my haven away from the constant ridicule of school, but it did have its disadvantages. Mostly in the name of my mother who aside from loving me, thought it was her job to “fix” me. With her it was always, why don’t you dress like a lady, don’t you want to look pretty, and why aren’t you more like Rebecca. Though she didn’t exactly say the latter I know she was thinking it.
I popped in my earphones and blasted music from my iphone in hopes that I would avoid my mother. She still got to me. My earphones were ripped out of my ears in an instant and instead of an earful of music I got an earful of mom.
“Brianna, how many times have I told you to not use this while I’m talking to you?” She yelled. The lines on her forehead became more prominent and the vein on her temple pulsed.
“Sorry mom I didn’t notice you were talking.” I replied almost bashfully because I knew I was lying.
“You certain of that.” She narrowed her blue eyes and gave me a look that saw straight into my soul. I was always a good liar, but my mother had a way of seeing through my lies. She waited until I fessed up.
“Fine, I heard you.” I admitted. “I was just trying to avoid this talk.” I mumbled out.
My mother had recently picked up the habit of trying to find me friends. Last week it was with the elderly neighbor’s niece who according to my mother was a nice girl. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not picky about friends or anything. I did actually go there and say hi, but the girl was not quite what I expected. She turned out to be 12, and if the age was not enough of a downer her obsession was. Her backpack and folder were covered in strawberry shortcake pictures. I knew right there the friendship would never go anywhere and decided to drop it.
“I’m just worried about you sweetie, it’s not natural for a girl of your age to not have any friends.” She said, the lines of concern showing on her face. My mother looked a lot like my sister, they had the same features that defined their beauty. It also meant that my mother had no idea what it meant to not fit in.
“I do have a friend mom, remember Robert, he’s been my best friend since the sixth grade.” I hated how she easily discredited Robert, as if he did not count.
“Yes, Robert.” She said his name as if it left a bad taste in her mouth. “I wanted to talk to you about him. I don’t think he’s a good friend for you to have. Did you know that he reads devil worshipping books, and I heard from Martha that she saw him try to contact the dead.” She said whisper soft.
Martha was the biggest gossip in town. She knew everything about everyone right down to their date of birth. What I did not understand was how she found out about Robert contacting the dead. We usually did that in his bedroom.
“Mom please, I know Robert like the back of my hand, if you ever want to know anything about him you come talk to me don’t rely on what other people have to say.” Even if those people got half of it right, but she didn’t need to know that.
The worried wrinkle between her eyes persisted. “I just don’t like the looks of that boy. He doesn’t look like a good influence. Can’t you make decent friends?”
I put my hands up. “Mom, I understand why you would think that, but what friends can I make. You want me to befriend the people who call me loser and freak every day.”
Her mouth turned into a hard line. She never did like the fact that I was the school freak.
“Ok sweetie.” Her eyes turned kind. “I trust your judgment. And Robert is a nice boy. You know me I always get caught up in Martha’s stories, but I can’t help listening when it affects you.” She patted my head softly and ruffled my thick curls, her signal to announce the conversation was over.
“So, what are you going to do today?” She asked making her way to the kitchen. Her voice sounded far away, probably more concentrated on the cookies on the kitchen table than the actual question she asked.
“I’m just going to hang out with Robert today.” I flinched. Please don’t say no.
It took her longer than usual to answer, but when she did, it was in resignation. “Fine, if that’s what you want to do then take the Toyota—“
“No, no, no!” Rebecca yelled from the kitchen. She barged into the living room with the fury of hell written on her beautiful face. “She can’t take the Toyota, I’m taking it. The girls and I are going to the mall and I already promised I’d drive. Please Mom.” She pleaded sweetly in a way that mom could not resist. I could see her walls crumbling when she took a look at Rebecca. She nodded conceding to her wish.
“I guess you could take the car Rebecca.” She exhaled. I already knew it was going to end this way, nobody denied anything from Rebecca.
“Thanks mom, love you.” She leaned over and kissed mom on both cheeks before taking her winnings; the keys to the car that only she seemed to drive. I could have argued that I never get to drive, but what was the point, I knew I was not going to win. I would never win against Rebecca, and I would never win against any other girl in the planet. I could not quite grasp what was wrong with me. I acted normal enough; I did not have any weird obsessions like Robert. But somehow in the middle of sixth grade everything changed, instead of being Rebecca’s little sister, I became a freak and was friendless until Robert came along.
“I guess I’ll just walk to Robert’s house.” I mumbled.
“Ok sweetie, be careful. Don’t come back too late, your father wouldn’t like it.” My mother said, before she walked into the kitchen.
“So, Brianna, you’re going to visit your boyfriend Robert.” Rebecca teased.
“Eww.” I’ve known Robert for a long time, and I see him more like a brother. The thought of Robert and I together is as gross as the thought of a brother and a sister together. Both are just wrong and should never happen.
“Sheesh, Brianna, no need to be mean.” She giggled. “But Robert is gross so I can understand why. Remember when he tried giving me that love note. Eww.” She gagged.
“Robert isn’t gross,” I said, a bit defensive. “He’s misunderstood. And you should think yourself lucky that someone as cool as Robert liked you once.”
“Cool.” She put her hand on her chest and laughed out loud. “Brianna, Robert and cool definitely don’t belong in the same sentence.”
So maybe describing Robert as cool was not the smartest idea.
“What I mean is that he’s amazing, and my best friend, so you can’t say he’s gross, only I’m allowed to call him that.” I warned.
“Ok, fine, I won’t say anything about your boyfriend anymore.”
I almost punched her in the face. “He’s not my boyfriend!”
“Ok then, whatever you say.” She called as she jingled the keys, taunting me a bit before she walked out the door. It wouldn’t be Rebecca unless she rubbed it in a little.
I quickly gathered my bag and clutched it tightly to my chest, before following Rebecca out the door. Sure, walking wasn’t as cool as driving—according to Rebecca—but I happened to enjoy walking. Or maybe it was my quest to do everything the uncool way which made me love walking. Either way the world seemed to always look better to me when the echo of gravel bounced off my feet.