"Science Girl what the fuck did you drink tonight?" she chuckled silently to herself as she started the car and drove home.
The ride back was devoid of any talk, silence filled the air, nothing to say, nothing to talk. It was an odd comfort of sorts, the silence brought a feeling of peace to Ash's ears and at that moment, she couldn't ask for anything else.
But something was nagging her, nothing too serious, but just the thought of her and Scarlett back at the night club.
"It's nothing. You're probably just overreacting" she muttered to herself as she arrived at the apartment building.
She parked her car nearby and tried to see if she could get Sofi awake.
No luck
"Fuck." she grunted out, a little annoyed that she wouldn't wake up "The things I do for you Science Girl..." she muttered and picked her friend up, head on one arm and leg on the other as she brought her bridesmaids style.
"H-Hey Mrr. Bojing" she stammered out as she opened the door to the apartment, for someone shorter than her, she was awfully heavy
"Ash! Uh... Should I ask?" he questioned, pointing a finger as he saw her holding Sofi, a little strange but no questions needed to be said
"She got drunk and uh, decided to pass out," she replied
"Ahhh I remember those days, good times, the day after was terrible, but good times. Anyway, tell me if she vomits tomorrow, I can make her some tea."
"Thanks, I'll do that. Anyway, goodnight!" she finished off and they both waved goodbye. The elevator (luckily), didn't break down and she managed to get her friend inside safely, dropping her off at the couch, breathing a sigh of relief as she let go.
"I'm getting drunk next time, let's see how you'd like to carry me." she teased as she took the empty bowl of popcorn and went to put it on the kitchen counter, already taking out a tea bag for tomorrow when Sofi would inevitably puke her insides out.
"Well you sure as hell ain't sleeping in the couch, might as well bring you to bed I suppose." she sighed as she wrapped her arms around her, bridesmaids style, and brought her to the bed. In another world, it could've been considered both majestic and dazzling.
In this case, it was not. The bed was fairly cramped, the sheets all over the place and it wasn't exactly fit for a princess. Or a prince. Or, any actual type of royalty.
Hell, most self-respecting people probably had a bigger bed, but our dear Ashleigh was not one of those people.
"Gonna get a little cramped but you'll be fine. Probably?" she added as she dropped her on the bed, a thud as the body hit the mattress, she tucked her in and closed the door
"I'll join her in a bit." she thought to herself as she checked the time.
4am
"Oh it's early, nothing to worry about." she thought to herself as she sat down on the couch "If I turn on the TV, neighbors upstairs gonna wake up," she muttered as she found herself grabbing onto the remote, there wasn't much to do unless...
"Fuck it. 4am is the hour of music isn't it?" she admitted as she got up from the couch, leaving the remote behind as she grabbed the guitar that lay tucked away from the outside world, to protect it from harm. Leaving it somewhere else would probably make it easier to use, but closed off from harm it would never suffer anything whatsoever.
Hesitantly she started opening the door to her apartment, feeling like she'd forgotten something
"Better bring a jacket" she muttered and dashed to her room, opening the creaking door slowly as she grabbed a wooly jacket with a few threads loose, and put it on.
She got on the stairs and headed up to the roof, she wasn't gonna take her chances with the elevator, three times and it hadn't broken down? Any more and the elevator would crash and burn. Either way, it wasn't a long trip of stairs and as she arrived, she got out her keys and opened the creaky metal door.
"Been a long time since I've been here huh?" she smiled, recalling fond memories of this very roof, when she first moved in she'd come up here every night, for anything. To cry, text, read, but she'd always come up here. Watching the empty streets as the sky around her grew darker, feeling the cold wind against her as she sat there on the edge.
This time, it was 4am.
Well, she did tend to come at 4am, but she'd stop coming a few months ago. Not necessarily for any reason... She just did.
"Good to be back..." she sighed as she sat on the edge, hanging her legs as she hit her feet against the wall.
Even in the velvet dark, there is the light of the stars, a promise that even when times seem darkest, the stars exist to bring hope, of love, of a better future. The street lamps reflections in the black river of whatever the hell was not there, stretched like flaming stilts, ruffled by the cold breeze of the winter.
She gazed up at the painting of stars, and at that moment, it was as if time ceased to stop. As if she was alone in the universe at that moment, and she felt peace, a sense of tranquility, and she asked for nothing less.
"Miss you dad." her voice broke a little as said those words, she still missed him. More than 5 years later, and she still missed him.
But perhaps, that was no curse.
For the people that leave us, will be kept in our hearts eternally. A part of us wherever we go.
Still, that didn't make it any much better as a single tear rolled down her cheek. Ash wasn't an emotional person, she didn't want people to see the most fragile side of herself. The only two people she had ever shown it to was Sofi, and as much as she hated to admit it, Scarlett was the first person to truly know her.
Well, her dad too. But that was... a little different.
"Wish you were here old man." she cracked a painful smile as she wiped the tears that kept on coming. And so she played.
For a long time, the guitar was what kept her from breaking down. A sense of calm in a world of storm, in a world that wanted to take away everything she loved, the guitar stayed as a symbol, perhaps of power, or of art.
But it was there, and that was more than what could be said for certain people.
But then Sofi came along, and so did V, and so did Jesse. They brought her back, and so she lost the touch of her guitar. Playing occasionally, but it wasn't... It wasn't that symbol of power it used to be.
She'd stopped a few months ago, but she was back now. And for whatever reason, she knew not.
She thought back to the night club, and to her father, and to all of life's greatest joy and miseries, and she plucked the first string.
"I wonder
You twist, and I'll fall apart
Find an Empire of Dirt
I buried you deep
Your name, burned into my soul
Did I ever forget?
Perhaps, I've always known
But come on, did I ever really give a fuck?
Wish I knew,
After all,
Don't you hold the key?"
Her voice quavered as she sang her last note, her music fading into the twilight sky as she sat there, looking down on the world below as she breathed a sigh of relief, she was at peace, and she wanted nothing more.
As she enjoyed her moment of silence, she found her phone vibrant, she took it out hesitantly, reading from the contact name saying "Fuck You Bitch 🖕🏾"
Scarlett.
"The fuck is she texting me for?" she muttered impatiently, after tonight she'd have been fine losing Scarlett to time itself, destined to never see each other again. She'd have been great with that! Perfect in fact, after all, she didn't care for her and her emerald eyes and her fiery hair, of course not!
She despised her, and frankly, she'd be better off without her.
And so, she did what any rational person would do, instead of ignoring the text and moving on with her life, she unlocked her phone and saw the message.
"Still hate you, but tonight was fun. You up for hanging out tomorrow?"
"The fucking nerve..." she grunted out, shaking her head over the message she had received. She couldn't help but crack a smile at the irony of the whole situation, sadistic, cruel, and nothing less than horrible, but a little ironic, nonetheless.
She hesitated before she wrote the response to her text. Wondering that if perhaps what she was thinking was the best thing to write. But she wanted to go deeper down this rabbit hole, might as well see where it led than living a life of always wondering.
"Fuck it. I'll hang out with you. Same place? Same time?" she wrote, waiting for a reply. Her face wrought with hate, godamn she hated that little fuck. But something pulled her in, and she sure as hell wasn't going to pass out on a chance of showing off her skill of dance in front of the person she hated most
You see Dear Reader, Ash wasn't a person of hate. She did her best to love all, and those who did evil she thought to be unworthy of receiving any sort of extreme feeling from her, they didn't deserve her hate.
But with Scarlett... Scarlett could bring out a passion from her that no else could, a fire in her soul that would consume all in the name of hatred.
It wasn't always like this.
At least not the hatred part anyway.
It took her a little while to answer, Ash almost being petty enough to comment on that as she read the text she was sent
"I'll text you, 6:30pm, sunset?"
Ash rolled her eyes, a little exasperated "This girl's gonna be the death of me huh..." she muttered annoyed
"Fine. Go to sleep or stay fucking awake, hate you either way," she answered, hoping to stop talking to this human scum she couldn't get off her mind.
"Always your lovable self aren't you? Goodnight Ash, hate you too."
She cracked a smirk at the text, much to her dismay, she couldn't be furious over everything she, a little to her disappointment. She hated her. Everything about her. From her eyes that sparkled in the deepest shadows, to the auburn hair that burned every eye that came close it, to the muscles that ran down her bicep, and the way her smile shone, even when all seemed lost.
She hated everything about her.
Every godamn little thing.
"It's fine. Just one more dance and she'll be completely out of your life. Ash, you're gonna be fine." she thought to herself, just an hour or two with her, and then she'd remain a figure of the past. Never to be found again, a ghost that would haunt the memories of other people.
She checked her phone, in hopes of thinking that it was earlier than what she thought it was, unfortunately, she was left a little mistaken.
The analog clock turned to 5am, and the street came alive once again as Ash heard a car zoom on down the steer, the tires curving under the stone road as life came into the cities once again, as if life coming back to a dead soul
"I should uh... Probably get some sleep," she muttered as she stood up, wiping dust and all sorts of random miscellaneous things from her jeans.
She turned her back on the City that Never Slept and walked back over to the stairs, taking out her keys and unlocking the door before she walked slowly down the stairs, making sure to not hit her guitar against the hallow walls of the building
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