Chapter 15

The next day, Dray and I are back to chatting at work, and hanging out during breaks. The three of us (including Miss Jerries) have lunch together outside, as it’s warm and sunny often. I mean, it’s not warm per se; we’re at the beach, it’s never that warm.

“Are you coming to Daxa’s restaurant again today?” Dray asks and I snort like it’s the most obvious thing ever. “Obviously, when do I not come to Daxa’s restaurant?” Dray laughs, and I get in his car. Yeah. That’s a thing which happens now.

It’s been a while since we officially became friends, and Dray and I often spend time in Daxa’s restaurant together after work, or on the weekends. Sometimes I drive him home, and sometimes Dray drives me home, and although I was apprehensive at first, I find myself genuinely enjoying the car journeys together.

I’m honestly flattered that Dray spends so much time with me outside of work - I mean, unlike me, he actually has other friends. That’s another thing I’ve learnt - Dray Hastidal is rather popular. The only friend of his I actually know is Sylvia (yes, we’re on a first name basis now too), although I’ve met Nick briefly before.

Dray has mentioned before in passing how he’d like it if I was able to meet his other friends, but all I’ve said is I get anxious around strangers. I want to meet his friends too - I feel like we’d get along, based on the stories he tells. It’s just…what if one of them tries to hurt me?

I know they won’t, and my paranoia is seriously starting to piss me off. It’s stopping me from doing things I want to do, but I don’t know how to overcome it - trying to force myself into a situation I’m paranoid about doesn’t sound even remotely healthy.

So when we turn up at Daxa’s restaurant, and three guys are there, one of whom I recognise as Nick from that one time, I’m feeling a little overwhelmed and I haven’t even said hi to them. Dray looks as surprised as I feel, so I’m guessing he didn’t invite them.

“Dray! Man, we didn’t know if you were coming or not, I mean, you’ve been ignoring the group chat like all day. Mack and Zach are coming later, once they’re done with their date,” Nick says, before noticing me.

“Oh hey, you’re the guy from before?” Nick asks, and I smile awkwardly. “Hey, it’s uh, Nick right?” I ask, shoving my hands deep in my pockets. He smiles friendlily, squeezing into the booth he and the other guys are in so that Dray and I will fit on the end.

“Yeah correct, and uh, who’re you? Last time I was totally wondering how Dray got mixed up with some shady guy, but Daxa hasn’t kicked you out yet, so you’re probably all good.” I glance over at Daxa, and she waves as she comes over.

“Oh hey Fyfe! How’s Ailsa?” She asks, and I smile slightly, scratching at the tattoo on my neck. “Yeah she’s good, busy at the moment, she’s had a lot of people wanting designs done recently, so she won’t be able to visit for a while unfortunately,” I explain, missing my sister.

I also miss my mums, but I haven’t seen them much in almost two years. I saw them once, when I first got out of the hospital, but back then I could only be around one person, and that person ended up being Ailsa.

“Oh shame - I mean, it’s great business is going well for her, but video calls are only so good for a nice catch up!” I gape at Daxa, leaning back in my seat. “Wow. You video call my sister? I know she said you and her were like, best friends already, but I didn’t realise she was serious,” I say with a laugh, and Daxa nods vehemently.

“Seriously, she’s super cool and fun, we video call like every weekend.” I laugh and Daxa smiles, before the bell goes and she skips off to welcome a new customer.

“Yeah, so as we were saying before Daxa came over, this is Fyfe, my friend from work,” Dray says, and it’s nice to not be introduced as a coworker, but a friend from work instead. Dray proceeds to introduce me to Jack and Rick, and then Mack and Zach turn up, and I suddenly feel very grateful to my undercover time for the great memory it gave me.

Like seriously, what friend group is called Nick, Rick, Jack, Mack and Zach? Way too complicated, get new friends.

When Mack and Zach arrive, we end up moving to the high tables at the back, because there isn’t enough space for all 7 of us at that one booth. Mack and Zach are a couple, and are both fairly quiet, whilst Rick and Jack are on the louder end of things.

Nick and Dray are sort of in the middle, commenting and sharing but not the main conversationalists. Rick and Jack would be the easiest to get information from. I squeeze my eyes shut, getting frustrated at my own brain. I seriously need to chill out.

“Ugh, not looking forward to next weekend though, I have to go home to my homophobic parents, which sounds about as fun as it is,” Mack comments, resting his chin in his palm. Dray leans back slightly, scowling.

“Homophobic parents are seriously the worst, like, please just be happy that your kid is happy and be done with it.” Rick takes a swig of his drink, frowning. “Are yours still being shitty about it?” He asks, and I suddenly feel like I came across a bit of information I shouldn’t have.

It feels like I’m eavesdropping, except I’m part of the conversation.

“Yep, as far as I know. Daxa won’t let them talk to me until they ‘get their act together and apologise’. Like, I appreciate her efforts and all, I always will, but sometimes I feel like just waiting and hoping for the best means I’ll be waiting forever. I just want to have a conversation with them, but that’s too hard to do, apparently,” he grumbles into his glass, sipping at his spiced rum and coke gently.

“That really sucks, you need a chance to be able to talk it through with them, but Daxa is forever protective, huh?” Nick asks, resting his head on Rick’s shoulder. “Twas always to be expected when I came out, I knew my parents’ views on it, but I did it anyway. God, being 18 suuucked,” Dray says with a laugh which all of us can hear the alcohol behind.

Something I quickly realised when it comes to Dray, is how easily he gets tipsy. And when he gets tipsy, he goes one of two ways - giggly tipsy, or deep and meaningful conversation tipsy. Today is the latter.

Normally, being around tipsy people makes me uncomfortable, especially if I don’t know them. But somehow, me being the only sober one here, in a group of guys I don’t really know, I feel surprisingly calm. And it might have something to do with the fact that I’m on the end, so not in the midst of them, or it might have something to do with the fact that Dray, in his tipsiness, has somehow ended up with his head on my shoulder.

That should make me uncomfortable, I should be paranoid that he’ll hurt me, but I’m not. I think I’m beginning to trust him. I think I began to trust him the night I drove him home, the night I told him where I lived, the night we shared contact information, the night he drove me home, I think I’ve been slowly trusting him more and more over the past month, and it’s a little scary.

It’s been a long time since I’ve trusted someone other than my family, but I think…I think I want to trust Dray. Because of our friendship. At least, that’s what I’ll call this feeling, for now.