The day had been amazing. It had been everything I could have wished for. Max had been so nice to me, and for a moment, I thought we were the only two people left in the world. It had been just the two of us, and no one else.

Right until my dream world came crashing down. I had remembered the reality when he said he couldn’t come camping with me every weekend.

The drive back to Max’s home was agonizingly long, and we didn’t speak much. I was mostly staring out of the window on my side.

“It was left from here, right, Max?” My dad spoke, and I snapped my head in his direction.

I hadn’t paid much attention to our surroundings. I couldn’t remember where Max lived anyway, even though we had just been there a few hours ago, so I had no idea where we were. I felt disappointed that my time with Max was over, but at the same time, I was relieved, too.

I just wanted to go hide in my room and never come out again. I was too embarrassed of myself to be around people at that moment. I’d been acting like a little kid the whole day. Of course, Max preferred spending his time with his mature friend, the ones he went to parties with, and talked about their relationships and sex and stuff, instead of the embarrassment that was me.

“This is it,” Max spoke, and my dad stopped the car. “Thanks for the ride, Mr. Jenkins.”

“Any time,” Dad spoke with a smile, and I saw him looking at me with a hint of worry in his eyes.

I turned to look at Max and tried to smile at him. “I’ll see you on Monday?”

“Sure,” Max replied with a bigger smile. “We didn’t decide on when we’re going to start with the project.”

“We can decide that when we see again,” I said quietly.

“Okay, see you at school then,” Max said, and got out of the car.

I waved at him slowly before he shut the door and started walking to his home. My dad waited for a moment before he started driving again.

“Is everything all right?” he asked worriedly. “Was he being mean to you?”

“No – nothing like that,” I hurried to say. “I’m just a little tired, that’s all. I think I stayed in the sun for too long.”

It was a lie, of course, but I didn’t want him to worry over me. He was always worried over me. Freddy was far more outgoing than I was, and easy to make friends with. He was smarter too, and bigger, and liked sports, so he was the better son. I was the little kid. I was the one who still came home covered in mud and bleeding from the knee.

“Did you find the owls?” Dad asked after a while.

“We found their nest. Max helped me to see it! He built me stairs with some bales so I could climb high enough to look! I wish I would’ve brought my camera though...” I trailed off and sighed.

“I thought you did take your camera with you,” Dad spoke.

“I did. It’s right here,” I said, and grabbed the camera from the seat. “It was here in the car the whole time...”

“No way,” Dad chuckled. “I’m sorry – I should’ve checked that you took it with you.”

“It’s not your fault,” I sighed, and put the camera away. “I’m just a stupid little kid who forgets or breaks everything...”

“Don’t say that!” he said sharply.

I didn’t start arguing with him. I knew I was right, and he was my dad, so he didn’t think there was anything wrong with me by default.

Soon enough we arrived at home, and I made sure I had all my stuff with me before leaving the car. I followed Dad to the front door, and once we were inside, I climbed upstairs. I went straight to my room and closed the door. I put the camera back on the shelf, left the rest of the stuff at the end of my bed as I climbed on it and lay down on my stomach. I grabbed a pillow and buried my head in it.

“I wish I was more mature,” I whispered to no one.

*****

An hour later, Mom knocked on my door.

“Dinner is ready!” she spoke with a loud voice, and opened the door. “Sky?”

“Coming,” I muttered, sitting up on the bed.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, and stepped in. “Did something happen with Max?”

“I feel a little sick...” I muttered.

I didn’t like lying to my parents, but I did not want to tell them why I was being so down.

Mom frowned and walked to me. She pressed her hand on my forehead and waited for a moment. “You don’t have fever,” she muttered.

“Humans can be sick without fever,” I said quietly.

“True, but my instincts tell me that your body isn’t sick. It’s something else,” she spoke softly, and sat down next to me. “Even your dad believes something happened at the barn. Did Max hurt you?”

“No!” I sighed in irritation. “It was just the sun...”

I wasn’t lying about that. Max was the sun, and I’d been too close to him for too long. I’d started seeing mirages, dreams about things that would never happen. And then the eclipse came, and I was left cold and lonely when he showed me my place.

“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” Mom said. “Talking is better than keeping it all locked up.”

“I’m fine, Mom,” I said quietly.

I knew she didn’t believe me, but she let it go. She hugged me tightly before standing up. “Come. Maybe things look better once you have a full stomach,” she said, offering her hand.

I grabbed it hesitantly, feeling more like a ten-year-old clinging onto his mother’s hand. I let it go when I was standing on my feet and followed her out of my room. She looked at me once more when we were walking downstairs. She looked just as worried as my dad had back in the car.

A few moments later, we were all sitting at the dinner table, and I was almost shocked to see Freddy with us. I hadn’t seen him outside the school since he usually spent all his time with his girlfriend.

He was wearing black skinny jeans and a white T-shirt with a logo of some band on it. He had bracelets on his wrists and a chain necklace around his neck, and his short, blond hair was literally standing up. People used to say we looked like twins, but I couldn’t even tell that we were related. He looked like someone Max would like to be friends with. Instead of me, a weirdo wearing a bright yellow, worn down T-shirt and a saggy pair of blue jeans with holes in them.

“What are you staring at?” Freddy asked with a frown. “Do I have something on my face?”

“No – sorry... It’s just weird to see you at home,” I muttered, and grabbed my fork.

“Yeah, I guess I haven’t been home much,” he chuckled and rubbed his neck.

I could see hickeys on his skin.

“You should spend more time with us,” Mom said with a complaining tone. “I know you’re a teenager, but still. Are you even doing your homework?”

“I’m doing my homework with Stacy. You’ve seen my grades...” Freddy spoke, glaring at me like he wanted to strangle me for bringing it up.

My mood was already down, and now I was feeling absolutely miserable. Not because Freddy was angry with me, I was used to it. We did have a good relationship, but we were so different that we didn’t have much to talk about. No, I was sad, because there was no way I could ever be like him. Even if I had the same clothes and the same hairstyle, I would still be the dorky little kid. My brother was cool. That was something I could never be.

I tuned out and stared at my plate, eating halfheartedly. I wondered that if I paid more attention to sports and fashion and TV-shows that were not about animals, maybe then I could learn how to be cooler. Maybe if I threw out my kitty-posters and that stupid green backpack with a turtle on it... It hurt to even think about throwing them all out, but I had to do something. I had to become someone else if I wanted to have friends.

“Uhm... Mom?” I spoke timidly, like I was about to ask something dangerous. In a way, it was. “I could use... some new...” I took a deep breath and forced myself to say the final word, “clothes.”

They all fell silent. They were all staring at me with wide eyes. Then a wide smile appeared on my mom’s lips.

“FINALLY!” she shrieked. “Yes! When? Now! Oh my God, I knew this day would come!”

She grabbed her fork and stuffed her mouth with mashed potatoes. “I knew it, I knew it!”

“Uh... Honey...? Calm down. You are scaring me...” Dad muttered while Freddy just stared at me.

“No time! We are going shopping!” Mom spoke with her mouth full. “Hurry up, Sky! We can still make it to the mall!”

I closed my eyes and shivered. My mom took shopping seriously. I could only wish I wouldn’t regret going to the mall with her.