Simon’s POV

It was dark out when I woke up, and the pup was still resting snuggled under me. She was still sound asleep, so I cautiously stepped out from the cavern to check if the snow storm had settled down enough to look for food. The snow was still about a foot deep, but it was falling slower than it had on our way in. It would be difficult to find any food in this weather, but it wasn’t impossible to find some type of hare or deer still roaming around. It wasn’t too far into the winter season to be that concerned, but now that I had to account for the young pup, it was probably best I find something to hold us over for however long it would be to find her parents.

I stayed close to the cave in case the snow got heavier, and sniffed around, trying to find any burrows or deer tracks. It was difficult to pick up any older scents in snow, but I kept searching, hoping that something would turn up. Who knows how long that pup had gone without food already, I didn’t want her to starve, let alone freeze to death.

And if by some miracle, I noticed a very subtle movement behind some bushes about thirty feet away. I froze in place, wondering if it had just been wishful thinking, when I saw it again. Two white elongated ears, sticking up from the bushes. I crouched down, trying to figure out how to approach it. I waited for what seemed like hours, as the hare continued hopping around, then suddenly going toward the denser brush.

I followed the hare closer when I stopped in my tracks, and saw a few others following close behind it. They were smaller than the one in front, three what appeared young hares, possibly children. My interest in hunting the hare, or anything else for that matter immediately dissipated, I walked back, heading back to the cave.

In the cavern, the pup was still sleeping, curled up in the same way that I had left. She looked exactly like Monica did on the nights we spent curled up in our makeshift forts near the fireplace. That wave of nostalgia made me hesitate to sit next to her again. Although I knew this pup wasn’t in any way related to me, I still felt obligated to protect her and keep her safe for Monica’s sake.

As I sat down next to her, she slowly roused until two light amber eyes stared back at me. She tensed up, ears erect, as she backed up against the cavern wall. I laid down, trying to appear less of a threat.

“You’re okay,” I told her. “You’re safe here”

She hesitated before relaxing after watching me stay completely still. After a long silence, she knelt down in the same position I had taken, moving closer towards me, and asked in almost the same innocent and curious tone Monica had when asking me questions, “what’s your name?”

“Simon,” I replied. “My name’s Simon”

“That’s a cool name. My name’s Sally”

She beamed as if she had just made a friend. She seemed like a complete turn around from the pup I had seen run off at the site of me. It was almost hard to believe that she was the same pup nearly dying in the lake. Just like Monica, or even Cedar, she seemed to radiate positivity and this youthful innocence.

Curious, I asked boldly, “Why were you out in the woods?”

She let out a low whine and seemed to pout before responding, “my parents were fighting again, so I went for a run”

“Did you tell them you were going for a run?”

She shook her head, and I let out a sigh. My older brother instinct wanted me to chide her for not informing her parents, but I bit my tongue; it wasn’t my place to parent her.

“Are you from a pack nearby?” I asked. Most wolves had a pack brand on the back of their necks, but with our fur, it’s nearly impossible to detect.

She nodded, “yes, New Moon pack”

I tensed up at the name of my old pack. It had been a while since I heard any mention of its name, the painful memories being something I didn’t want to remember. Luckily, she seemed too young to even be alive when I had left. If she had ran off, surely someone would have tracked her down, especially her parents. There were countless betas that they could use for a search party, especially for someone as young as her.

“Your parents must be worried about you,” I said.

She seemed to pout even further. “I don’t think so; they were too angry about something silly again”

“Still,” I insisted. “They’re your parents”

“I don’t want to go back,” she droned on.

I let the topic slide, letting the deafening silence filled the room. I shifted to give her a little more space before she cleared her throat.

“Are you from a pack?”

I frowned, hesitating to tell her the truth or not. “I was. I’m a rogue”

She seemed shocked by my answer, but nevertheless, she wasn’t fearful at all by the fact that I wasn’t associated with a pack and that I could potentially be a threat.

“Oh,” she replied, almost with a sad tone. “What happened?”

For her age, she seemed fairly intuitive. Even Cedar was less keen on things I’ve shared about my past. Perhaps I had underestimated her, and she was independent on her own. It would make sense if her parents had fought this often.

“Did you get kicked out?” She added, with a frown.

It took me a moment to find my voice. When I did, it came off as a whisper.

“Yes”

“Oh,” she responded, and in that moment my mind went into a frenzy. A simple oh, yet it could have taken on any connotation. Despite her being understanding thus far, my mind could only think of the negative things she could have thought. Murderer. Traitor. Words I had heard before ten years ago, all replaying over and over.

And suddenly my sanity had spiraled out of control. I was no longer in the cavern with Sally, but outside my house, pack members surrounding me, and my family, dead. Remembering the sight of them, the awful stench encircling me, until I suddenly couldn’t breathe. Vince’s infuriated and sinister grin staring down at me, while my lungs seemed to squeeze into a painful knot, my heart seemed to go into overdrive. Looking down I saw the blood on his claws and arms, and suddenly on my own hands as well, pack members looking enraged at me like I had done this to them. My mouth opening and closing trying so desperately to get some oxygen before I saw bloody Monica rise from the rest of my family, calling my name desperately.

“Simon!”

I tried to form some words, trying to apologize or say some semblance of consolement.

“Simon!”

I had almost gotten the word sorry out, when I felt a sharp nip on my front paw. I looked down to see Monica - no, Sally staring at me with her worried auburn eyes. I was back in the cave, no blood anywhere to be seen. My breathing was still erratic but I could still breath, thankfully.

“Are you alright?”

“No,” I whispered. “I’m not okay”

She rested her head on the paw she nipped, then began licking at my face. “I don’t know what happened, but you don’t have to talk about it”

She seemed to almost knowingly stare at me, as if she saw what I had seen, and for some strange reason, my heart ached. “Thanks,” I replied.

After my breathing stabilized from the near panic attack I readjusted myself so we could sit next to each other for warmth.

I let some time past before I told her, “I think it’s best we wait the snow out and you go back home”

“I don’t want to,” she huffed.

“It’s not safe out here. Other rogues could attack you, and out here you don’t have the same protection as being in the pack,” I informed her before tacking on. “I fear I’m not the best at keeping people safe, and as you can see, I’m not okay”

“I trust you,” she said with confidence.

“You shouldn’t. There are a lot of angry rogues out here that I wouldn’t stand a chance against if they attack.”

She said with just as much conviction, “you saved me from drowning, that means something”

I didn’t say anything to that, and instead looked out towards the mouth of the cave, where the snow was slightly picking up again.

“Tell me something about you,” she asked curiously. Her bright eyes staring at me with wonder. “What pack?”

I frowned, before responding vaguely, “a small pack down south”

It wasn’t a complete lie. The pack was small when I had left, only about a hundred fifty people. By the looks of it when I would gaze from the mountain cliffs, they looked like they doubled or tripled in size.

“But why would they kick you out of a small pack? Mom told me a pack’s stronger in numbers,” she furrowed her brows.

A lump formed in my throat, but I swallowed it down. “I didn’t follow their rules”

I wasn’t what Vince wanted, was the real answer, but I was walking on eggshells. If I told her these crazy things, make elaborate and debased remarks about my old pack, I’d be doing exactly what everyone thought I had done, treason.

“Why’d you break the rules?” She tilted her head to the side.

There were so many things I could’ve said to that. I didn’t mean to. If only I had followed it. I should’ve stayed silent. The list goes on.

But staring at her innocent face made me stop myself.

“It was a bad idea. People warned me, but I was greedy. I wanted something that I couldn’t have.” I looked away before looking at her face again, a mix of confusion and worry.

I added, “it’s like when your parents tell you to leave the cookie jar, and you eat them anyway. And then they get super mad at you and take something away. I didn’t stop to think of the consequences”

I watched nervously as she still stared at me with a frown. I tried thinking of anything to say to not scare her further, but she surprisingly spoke up first.

“But now you don’t have a pack,” she replied. “Parents don’t kick kids out of the house for eating a cookie”

“Yes,” I replied softly. “They don’t. Except, the cookies I reached for was something very dangerous towards the pack”

“But it was a mistake, right?”

“I suppose so,” I shrugged.

“Then your pack shouldn't have kicked you out. You just told me being a rogue is dangerous, whatever dangerous thing you did can’t be as dangerous as being a rogue”

It was strange, being lectured by a child. Everything she was saying was what Aspen and some other rogues told me. Sure I blame Vince for being a bit excessive, but I did technically break his rules. I couldn’t just disobey the alphas rules, and it wasn’t like he didn’t warn me. When I first approached him upon realizing he was my mate, he had told me to stay away, and that he would sort this out on his own. I had been the impatient one. Telling my family, and soon rumors were spreading and made it blow up out of control.

Sally nudged me out of my thoughts, staring right through me as if she understood everything. Which was ridiculous, I’ve literally just met her. She had this look though, like my older sister Nicole, who had a knack for telling when something was the matter.

“Tell me about yourself,” I changed the subject.

She hesitated before going on about her parent's dramas. Something about keeping secrets from each other. Apparently, her father had done something a while ago and lied to it about her mother. She didn’t really know the specifics, but it seemed to be dramatic enough where Sally couldn’t take it anymore.

Her parents were betas, which coming from the New Moon pack didn’t mean very much. There were lots of betas, probably a hundred of them now. Small packs only had about 1-5, but for them, more betas meant a stronger pack. My father had been a delta, under betas, usually reserved for the hunting party. He would chase our prey for other deltas and betas to tackle. Betas were the ones with more strength and stamina, while deltas were more agile and stealthy.

Back then it was unusual for a female wolf to be a beta, only three that I was aware of when I had been there. My mother and most other wolves were considered thetas, below deltas who took on various roles in the pack. My mother had been a caretaker, while others were educators and nurses. It must have changed in the last ten years, since it appeared there were a lot more female betas guarding the pack territory, as well as in hunting groups.

Sally was an only child, only eight, and yet had the mind of an adult. Her vocabulary and understanding was something not even Cedar could understand, and he was almost a teenager.

It was hard to wrap my brain around it. Sally was very intuitive, wise, and confident. Yet, she assumed running away from her parent's dispute was a level of carelessness that mirrored my own. I commended her though, I was not nearly as intelligent as she had been when I left the pack.

She seemed to ramble more about her house, but I interrupted, with a bit of curiosity, “tell me about your pack”

I felt a bit selfish, but I was curious as to what had changed in the last ten years. Although it was wishful thinking that I could ever return, I had always wondered what the pack was like. I’ve only had the privilege of seeing the territory line from the shrub line that divided neutral and rogue territory, or from the cliffs of the mountain.

“It’s really big,” she started. “I think dad told me there’s almost 1,000 members now”

That was a surprise, way more than I expected.

She continued, “we have a pretty large pack house, that’s where we have the Alpha’s closest betas live. Sometimes dad gets to sleepover, but he says he misses me and mommy too much”

The packhouse hadn’t changed then, no surprise there.

“Oh, and there’s this center my dad works at a lot. It helps rogues in need. It’s called the RCPP. I forget what it stands for, but we help rogues with medical needs and make sure they don’t harm any pack members.”

From the shrubline, the rogue control center was fairly visible, it was a two-story building that originally was started by Vince’s father. It had been intended to encourage rogues to apply, almost like an immigration office, where rogues could also seek medical help and asylum. Although when Vince had become alpha, it was clear he was not fond of his father's intentions, and it appeared he would dismantle it when I left. It was nice to know it still existed.

“Speaking of your father, I think it’s best you get back to your pack and family. They’re most likely very worried about you, and would like to keep you safe as well,” I reemphasized. The snow was coming down harder at this point, and we had been talking for a few hours now. She was starting to doze off next to me. “I’ll walk you back there once the snow clears up”

She nodded before looking up at me again.

“When the snow clears up, you should also try and go back to your pack. Maybe they would listen and take you back,” she grinned. I didn’t say anything, not wanting to ruin her optimism.

“I don’t think they would,” I sighed. “The alpha isn’t too forgiving”

“Well if they don’t, I’m sure my pack would be willing to take you in. Maybe if you go to the RCPP, they’ll help you,” she mumbled before drifting off to sleep.

“I doubt it,” I whispered, more to myself to qualm the hope she so believed in. If only it could be that simple. I curled next to Sally before succumbing to sleep as well.