When last we left our wandering weirdos, they had come across a dire predicament. A dastardly villain destroyed their home. Now, this strange mix of friends have abandoned their homes in search of somewhere new. Somewhere homegrown, suburban, and aged like fine wine. Armed with a beat-up '60s convertible, a snake, and piles of luggage, the Whackos embark on a cross-country road trip from New Calivada, USA to the seaport streets of Aged Aqueduct, New Jersey.
Currently, the Whacko gang find themselves in a dead zone. The Groovemobile, frozen in traffic, hummed its engine. It's driver kept his eyes on the light. His pupils vibrated from his unblinking gaze. His rigid brows furrowed as the sounds of the light post clicked against his furry eardrums. The lights clicked like hands on a wristwatch. Click, clock, click, clock.
"Boy, Jean-Luc sure can stare at the traffic lights," Ryan, one of the passengers, noticed. His friend, Joey, hovered over his seat to reply, "Don't you know, Ryan? Staring makes it go faster.” Joey, Ryan, Melody, Danny, and 100% Julie have been sitting in the car for hours since they left The Town with No Name. They were bunnies of motion, not bunnies of stature. And with how condensed the gas had become, it started to wear on them if not their seating arrangements. While Joey felt more comfort sitting in the front, the others weren’t so lucky. The backseat of the Groovemobile couldn't fit so many people, even with their small size. They had to adjust to sitting with each other. Otherwise, there'll be more fights than cage matches at the WWE!
"God, if I have to sit with you for a whole trip like THIS…" Danny groaned, "I'd rather shoot myself."
"You'd wanna shoot yourself regardless. Lookit 'dis. My legs a cramping over here," Ryan shot back, "Maybe if ya' stopped eatin' them breakfast burritos, you wouldn't have such fat freakin' legs!"
"Alright!" Shouted a fiery 100% Julie, "You've been fighting since we left! You boys are going to make me blow my head off!" The fiery fruit girl was ready to drop a bomb herself if the fight escalated any further. She looked over each window and found both ends of the car enveloped in traffic. She looked to her humble boyfriend and strictly said, "Joey, please tell me it changed…” Joey uttered a slow, “Not yet…” as he retained a focus similar to his dad. Julie rolled her eyes at his answer and rested her free arm against the door handle. It's bad enough her injuries continued to ache, but tight spaces made it worse.
The only person who hadn't complained so far was Melody. The little bunny sat between Julie and Ryan, quiet as a mouse. Her hair dropped heavily over her eyes, and the only mount of dialogue she mustered was a short peep. That was if she was even ready to speak. Between the rest of them, she suffered the most injuries of the gang. That may have been because she and Jean-Luc had a bit of an exciting clash. One that, while forgiven, hung over her head like an anvil. Whether it was the guilt or her crushing bone structure, Melody sat there quietly with her 1000-yard stare. No one was sure if she was even alive.
"Poke," Joey poked.
"Joey, don't poke the dead," Jean-Luc said paternally. Somehow with all the arguing, that was the only thing to throw him off. Now that he was out of focus, he poked his head out the window to inquire. His eyes stretched like balloons, enhancing his vision ten-fold. One eye curled behind Jean-Luc's head to see a rumbling stampede. The other eye pointed ahead, only to see the lines of cars travel for miles, miles, miles, and miles! Miles and miles until the last car reached the end of the line, near the interstate. Jean-Luc's eyes slunk back in their sockets, and the fox groaned a very mouthful groan. And that darned clicking wouldn't stop stabbing him in the head.
"Uggghhhh… this intersection ALWAYS has the WORST LIGHT!" The tireless fox complained. He threw his fist in the air and shouted, "Hurry up, God! I'm bleeding down here!"
"Pretty sure shoutin' at the Big Man Upstairs doesn't make traffic lights work faster," Ryan remarked, to which Julie rolled her eyes and scoffed.
"Oh, I'd give anything to make this ONE traffic light go. Besides, I think my innards are bleeding again…"
"I thought you picked up those pills from the pharmacist," Joey pondered.
"I tried, but uhh… things didn't go as well as I hoped," Jean-Luc admitted. He cringed once the memories came rolling back. It took place at the local 24/7 convenience store just out of their hometown's city square. Fighting two mad doctors put a toll on his body. And worse, his face was mangled up from a fall he made thanks to a misplaced tricycle. If he had money (and common sense), Jean-Luc would sue!
"I ran straight for the pharmaceutical, and I got screamed outta the place. It’s like they wanted to perform an exorcism on me," the fox lamented, "The store cleared out faster than a Black Friday aftermath."
"It was that bad?"
"Yeah! It's like they never saw a broken fox before, or they're ungrateful that we up and saved the world."
"In all fairness, nobody knows we saved the world," Ryan said, "They might as well think we're terrorists." The bunnies got a laugh from that comment, making Jean-Luc sink to his seat.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
Time dragged its heels on life's shag carpeting. The Groovemobile sat humming in the same spot for approximately 2 hours, 45 minutes, and 12 seconds. They're lucky, the battery might have given out. Unfortunately, a rechargeable battery doesn't help a fox and a couple of bunnies. At this point, their patience was about as low as their failing sanity. The gang were left gritting their teeth and gnashing their jaws. It's almost like the traffic light was doing this on purpose. Not to mention the poisonous gas that lingered throughout could seep into the car at any minute.
"Alright," Jean-Luc pondered, "Someone's gonna have to go out there and push the car." SMACK! Jean-Luc took a snout-bouncing slap to the back of the head.
"In this air?! Danny raged, being the instigator he was, “We might mutate!”
"Hey, it's not like we can shoot out the lights, man. It's as dead as traffic!" Jean-Luc pointed Danny's eyes out the glass to prove his point. He uttered with a deflated frame, "Boss…? Look at the cars out there." Jean-Luc raised an eyebrow and observed his friend's point of view. Via a pair of glasses stored in the glove department, Jean-Luc gave a better observance to the car beside him. His eyes suddenly broke the frame of his bifocals. It turned out that the passenger next to him was dead—a rotting corpse with strands of roots surrounding his body. Not only that but his passenger too! And even there, his passenger's passenger was also dead! And the other cars near him, they were dead too! Wait a minute... is EVERYONE dead on this road?
"You mean to tell me that we've been sitting in a dead zone for over two hours?!" Julie yelled.
"I mean, we've done worse for two hours," Ryan joked.
"We gotta get outta here, dad," Joey said with a shudder, "Waiting till death feels much worse when you're around them." Jean-Luc sputtered and started slamming his palm all over the dashboard. There was a button somewhere; he just needed to… "GOT IT!" Jean-Luc pushed a button and the Groovemobile sprang from its spot in line. The convertible cannoned through the broken light, spinning the device out in the sky. The car flew high up and over the traffic above. Wings and a rocket emerged from its ends, but they were damaged. Without warning, both appendages broke from a heavy gust of wind.
"Shoot…"
The Groovemobile was thrown by the wind, over the trail of traffic. Eventually, the car plummeted at mach speed and crashed on an open patch of road. It landed on its tires, no doubt, but its passengers fell shaken and a tad overcooked. Joey, shaken not stirred, took a look from his window and noticed how they found themselves near the interstate's entrance. The top-hat rabbit turned to his friends and solicited their eyes to the open outdoors. They were free!
"We're free!" Joey exclaimed happily, "Look, there's the interstate just up ahead!" Jean-Luc rubbed his aching head and raised a fist in celebration. At least they could get on the road proper and leave this desolate wasteland. He muttered lightly, "I think the poison's getting to my head…" Concurrently, Joey plucked a map from Julie's fruit hat. A map of their old town, including an intersection to the next city. He said keenly, "If we cut on this interstate, we'll reach Epcoast Brand in an hour or so. GASP! And there's a movie theater nearby! Can we go, dad? Can we go?" Most of the others joined him, lobbying that a movie is a great stress reliever. Plus, it would be great to sit somewhere comfy for a change.
"Oh yeah!” Ryan remembered, “That new Desolation Dune movie's comin' out tomorrow. We GOTTA see it!" He threw himself over the driver's seat and begged, "Pleeeaaase, Mr. Dad-Man~?" Jean-Luc hated being called that. With a slouch, he sighed and mildly replied with, "Well… if we can at least catch a hotel first, I don't see why not?" Both Joey and Ryan cheered and gave each other a felicitous high-five. That is, until a random traffic light crashed in the middle of the road.
“Y-yeah… let’s go now.”
At long last, Jean-Luc and the gang turned from the last stretch of road and entered the interstate. It was the final stretch of road of The Town with No Name, their once-thriving home. Maybe after the movie, they'll have an exciting history creating, life-changing journey. Or at least be mildly entertaining.
"Gotta Groooooovvee~!"
"Yeah, Gotta Groove… hey, Joey?"
"Yeah?"
"Could you pass me some aspirin?"
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